The Wrong Emotion
by McDiggin'It
Summary: Morgana Le Fay liked nice guys. But she can't seem to shake her emotions for a certain dark-haired, blue-eyed asshole, with a penchant for annoying the living hell out of her. But recently, he's been... different. MERGANA modern AU.
1. Chapter 1

Title: The Wrong Emotion

Summary: Morgana Le Fay liked nice guys. But she can't seem to shake her emotions for a certain dark-haired, blue-eyed asshole, with a penchant for annoying the living hell out of her. But recently, he's been... nice?

Author's Note:

Hello, everyone! So I know I'm really late to the whole Mergana community, but I really hope you all enjoy this. I don't know why, but I suddenly found this new obsession with Mergana after rewatching episode 1 of Merlin on Hulu. Reviews are greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading!

-McDiggin'It

Warning: Merlin and Morgana are a little ooc in this fic, so just a quick heads up on that.

...

Chapter One:

She doesn't know why she's here. She hates the bloody place! But it's her only source of income at the moment so she forces herself to stay. The work itself is not bad. It's just... _him_. She can't stand him and his stupid hair, and his stupid blue eyes, and his stupid mouth, and his stupid smile, and his stupid... just his stupid _everything_! And it's not even the fact that he makes her do the stupidest shit for him. It's the way he treats her like she's just dying to please him.

And _gods_ , she hates how stupidly handsome he is. She wishes he were an ugly monster, but he's not. He's absolutely gorgeous with his stupid beautiful eyes. But if his physical appearance had matched his soul, he'd be a scar-faced hunchback with 4 rotting teeth, a large nose, and warts growing out of his eye sockets. But she had to be forced to work for a sexy arse idiot.

"Morgana!" 

She huffs, rolling her eyes as she gets up out of her seat at her desk to tend to her bosses needs. "Yes, Mr. Emrys?" She asks in an obviously annoyed tone from his office doorway.

Merlin looks up from the stack of papers on his desk and quirks an eyebrow at her. "Haven't I told you to stop calling me that?" She just stares blankly at him so he continues, "It's Merlin. Mer-lin." He draws out the pronunciation of his name as if she were retarded, which annoys her even more.

"Was there something you wanted, sir?" She asks in an almost too sweet, but sarcastic tone.

He shakes his head. "Not sir, Morgana. Merlin."

She rolls her eyes, "Was there something you wanted, Merlin?"

He takes a pencil from his desk drawer and points it at her. "Please sharpen this."

Morgana felt her eye twitch as she tried to control her fury. _The bloody pencil sharpener was right in front of him! All he has to do is stick the bloody thing in the sharpener!_ She wanted to scream but instead crossed the office to take the pencil from him and stab it harshly into the electric pencil sharpener.

She watches him with a hateful look on her face as he goes back to reading through his paperwork, completely oblivious to the raw loathing she had for him. She resists the strong urge to stab him in the neck with the newly sharpened pencil. It would only take a few seconds for him to bleed to death if she hits the right artery. 'Breathe, Morgana.' She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes as she finally pulls the pencil from the sharpener and places it in front of her boss. "Here you go, Mr. Emrys." She ignores his spluttering at being called _that_ again and heads back to her desk.

If he was going to make every moment of her life a living hell, then he can expect she won't be making his life a walk in the park.

Of course, she's aware of the fact that he could fire her for completely disregarding most of his rules, but she's been doing it for nearly a year and he has yet to say anything about it.

...

She's the last one to leave tonight, only because Merlin makes her pick up the thousand mechanical pencil leads he had "accidentally" spilled on his carpet floor. Of course, that was the janitor's job, but Merlin insisted he could only trust _her_ in his office and made it sound like he was doing her a favor by making her pick up his stupid pencil leads.

"Stupid bloody idiot and his stupid bloody pencil-,"

"Are you talking to yourself?"

Morgana jumps nearly out of her skin, whirling around to find the object of her annoyance smirking down at her from the doorway of his office with his bare forearms folded across his chest.

Clearly he was enjoying seeing her on her hands and knees, picking up after him. She grits her teeth as she picks up the last of the pencil leads. "Did you forget something?"

He shakes his head. "Just wanted to make sure you were doing as you were told and not snooping around my office." He waves a hand at her, oblivious to the fact that she's glaring directly at him in anger.

"Wasn't it _you_ who told me that I am the only person you trusted to be in your office?"

He nods, still smirking. "Indeed. But I don't know what you would be like if I were to leave my office. You've only ever been in here when I was present as well."

"Yeah, well I wish you bloody weren't present at all." She mutters under breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing." She smiles innocently at him. "Was there anything else you needed? Or can I lock up and go home?"

He shakes his head and unfolds his arms. "Nope. You may continue locking up." He doesn't make any move to leave, so Morgana continues to pack up her work bag in silence, while trying to ignore the fact that he was still there, still watching her.

She could almost feel his eyes on her, an unfamiliar feeling coming over her at the knowledge that he was watching. As she goes to walk past him, he stops her, laying a hand on her arm. She glares at him, and he immediately drops his hand back down to his side. "I need you to pick up my suit from the dry cleaners tomorrow morning."

She nods, "What time?"

"Around 6 a.m."

At that, her eyes widen. She usually doesn't have to be at work until 8a.m, so you should understand her surprise and annoyance at the news. "Why do you need your suit at 6a.m?"

"I have a conference call with the CEO of Pendragon Stocks at 7a.m, and I need an hour to get ready." He says easily as if this were an acceptable answer.

For the umpteenth time that day, Morgana wishes she could get away with the murder of her boss. She resists every urge she has in her body to strangle him and instead asks frustratedly, "Why the bloody hell would you need a whole hour to get ready? And why did you wait until _now_ to let me know of your conference call? And how the hell did I _not_ know about this call? _I'm_ your assistant! _All_ calls go through me first!"

He blinks rapidly at her in surprise at her audacity to speak to him that way, and to question him at all. He recovers rather quickly and smirks at her. "I forgot to mention it to you when I got the call from Uther Pendragon.. Be happy I'm telling you _now_ and not calling you at 6a.m to go to the dry cleaners while you're still in your pajamas. While that is a sight I wouldn't mind, I'm sure you'd like to look a little more presentable when you show up at my place with my suit."

She stares at him, her mouth hanging open as she tries to mentally figure out how his brain works, and whether he even _has_ a brain at all. Surely this behavior of his is inhumane. He's _got_ to be from a very faraway planet, probably infested with arseholes just like him. She forces herself to answer him politely. "Of course. I'll make sure you get your suit at 6a.m." With that, she walks away and towards the exit.

"Oh, and Morgana?"

She stops, gritting her teeth yet again. If this continues, she's not going to have any teeth left to grit. "Yes, Mr. Emrys?" She couldn't resist annoying him with the formality one last time before she heads home.

He rolls his eyes at her, but begins to smile as the skin of his face reddens a bit. Morgana refuses to acknowledge it as a blush. _Aliens don't blush!_ "Thank you."

She could've choked on her saliva right then and there because in the 11 months she's worked for him, she had never heard him say thank you to anyone in his life. She didn't think him capable of such a thing. She stares at him for a long moment, only breaking from her short trance when he turns and goes to his desk. She walks away slowly, not sure about what she's feeling.

Shaking her head as she waits for the elevator to reach her, she mutters under breath. "He's a bloody odd one."

...

Author's Note: Ok, so tell me what you all think! Yes? No? Boring? Not to worry, it will get better. I'll try to update regularly. Reviews are appreciated. Thank you for reading!

-McDiggin'It


	2. Chapter 2

Title: The Wrong Emotion

Disclaimer: I do not own the tv series 'Merlin'. That belongs to BBC. Although, if it were mine, well… I wouldn't be here writing this, would I? And Mergana would've been a major pair in the series. But I just own this sad fic.

Author's Note: Hello, you lovely you! Thank you so much to the readers and the people who reviewed the first chapter of this fic. I really appreciate it. Anyway, I hope you all like this chapter. It's a whole lot longer than the first chapter, but I hope it'll be good. Please leave a review. Also, Arthur is kind of a bad guy in this chapter. Can't really say if he'll be the antagonist for the whole story. But let me know what you think! Constructive criticism is welcomed here as well. But go easy on me, will ya? I'm still new to the Mergana community.

-McDiggin'It

…

Chapter Two:

When Morgana shows up on the doorstep of her boss's luxurious private home, she finds herself staring up at the place nervously. It's really too early for this anyway.

She rings the doorbell and smooths down her dark skirt before stopping herself. I _t's just my boss, and I hate him!_ She tries to tell herself, but the nerves wouldn't go away.

Typically it takes him nearly 10 minutes to answer the door, and... _Ok let's pause right here for a second. Let me elaborate on the fact that I did NOT ogle his half naked body... Ok, maybe a little, but I'm bloody human!_

She blinks several times at him, standing before her in all his half naked glory with a towel wrapped low around his hips. His pale skin glistens with water, his hair still wet from his shower, and his chest and abs lightly sprinkled with a line of dark hair, which her traitorous eyes follows until they disappears into his towel. She swallows hard, her emerald eyes flickering up to meet his sapphire ones.

He's smirking at her in amusement, "Like what you see?" Merlin makes a show of flexing his arms, and stretching them up and over his head so every muscle in his upper body is forced to contract.

Morgana could not stop her blush even if her life depended on it. So she scoffs, momentarily stuttering as she tries to find her words. When she realizes she was not going to find said words anytime soon, she settles for thrusting the hanger'd suit in her hand towards him. "Your suit." She manages to say, feeling extremely proud of herself for keeping her voice steady.

He gives her a crooked grin that wasn't supposed to make her mouth dry but did. He takes a step back and swings the door wider. "If you could put it in the living room, I'll just be a minute." He doesn't wait for her to protest as he turns and heads back inside his home.

She stands there for a few long moments, watching his wet naked back disappear past the door frame, before taking a tentative step inside as if she feared he may have set booby traps for her. She wouldn't put it past him to do something like that, seeing as how he already makes her life painful just by existing.

She looks around quickly, trying to find the living room, and when she does, she's thoroughly surprised at the modesty of his home. She had expected billion dollar paintings on his walls, maybe a few gold statues of himself, and a large painting of his head in the center of his living room, but... the whole area looks normal. Light green window curtains, pulled back to let the sunlight in, light green walls, a light blue couch, a green arm chair, a coffee table made from mahogany, an off white love seat, and a fireplace.

The only thing hanging from the wall above the fireplace was a huge photo of a man with dark hair and a bandholz styled beard, a woman with dark brown hair and kind light brown eyes, and an adorable little dark-haired boy with striking blue eyes standing between the couple.

She knows immediately that the little boy was Merlin. He looked about 5 or 6 years old in the picture, and Morgana assumes the couple are his parents when they were around their late 20's or early 30's.

She studies the face of the young Merlin, who did not smile or look even a little bit interested in anything at the moment. She recognizes that look on the present Merlin as his usual look of disinterest. And she wonders how he could already be feeling so disinterested about things at such a young age.

She pulls her eyes away, not wanting to wonder about anything else of Merlin's, and continues looking around the place.

She hates to admit it to herself, but the place is bloody cozy. The scent of lavender hangs in the air, which she adores because of course, she has lavender scented everything in her own home.

She continues to inspect the area as she sets down the freshly dry cleaned suit on top of the arm chair in the corner of the room. She momentarily wonders if he likes the scent of lavender, or if there were a girl here earlier. Or maybe the girl is still upstairs. Her eyes zoom into the corner of the couch where she sees a light blue hairbrush laying.

She didn't mean to inspect it, but she finds long blonde strands of hair in the bristles of the hairbrush. Clearly this belonged to a girl. She ignores the unfamiliar feeling rising in her chest at the thought and looks away, choosing to take a seat in the loveseat beside the coffee table and wait patiently for Merlin to return. She makes a mental note to stop looking around, which she finds a moment later she didn't have to do at all because Merlin comes back, this time entering the room in a dark blue bathrobe. He takes the suit and inspects it for a moment before grinning in satisfaction at its condition.

"Come come, Morgana." He doesn't look at her, but he waves a hand, motioning for her to follow him. It takes her a moment to realize that he's left the living room, and she shoots up out of the love seat to follow him. He walks down the hallway to the right and into a room to the left, leaving the door open.

Hesitantly, she follows, turning into the doorway, and nearly has a heart attack as she comes face to face with Merlin, leaning against the doorframe of what looks like a giant walk-in closet full of work suits. She momentarily wonders why the bloody hell she had to pick up one suit when he obviously has a billion more in his closet.

He grins at her and holds out the suit to her. "Come inside."

She stares at him, tensing up at the way he's looking at her. "Errr..." she glances at the suit. "What are you doing, sir?"

He chuckles, rolling his eyes at her uncomfortable look. "Relax, Morgana.. I'm not going to do anything to you."

"That's reassuring." Morgana mutters sarcastically to which Merlin laughs and raises his hands in mock surrender.

"Just come inside, Morgana. It's a walk-in closet."

She blinks at him with a quizzical look. "And what exactly am I supposed to do in your closet?"

He gives her a look as if it were painfully obvious. "Help me put on my suit, of course."

She glares at him, "I'm your assistant, Merlin. Not your girlfriend, your housewife, or your babysitter."

He laughs, turning to hang up his suit on a nearby hook beside a whole row of similar looking suits, before turning back and raising his right hand like he's about to pledge allegiance to her. "I, Merlin Emrys, CEO of Camelot Stocks Company, promise not to touch thine body with a ten foot pole..." He trails off, smirking at her and then shrugging his shoulders mockingly. "Unless you want me to."

Morgana's nostrils flare in anger as she turns away, ready to leave, but he grabs her hand, pulling her back. She turns to glare at him and he's looking at her with a confused look on his face. "Most girls would kill for a chance just to be near me. They follow me around like lost puppies. They flock around me wherever I go..." He shakes his head. "You're the _only_ girl I allow inside my office, my home, my life, and yet... The look on your face tells me you hate me." His eyebrows scrunch up in confusion as he looks down at their touching hands. "Why?"

The question is so soft, she almost doesn't catch it.

He lets her wrench her hand out of his large one, and she ignores the way her fingers had tingled at his touch. "I'm not 'most girls'." She snaps harshly. She doesn't bother to answer his question. How does he not know why she hates him? He makes her life so much harder than it already is.

She doesn't dare to look back into his eyes, knowing that the look he's giving her right then would give her a load of guilt she can't handle at this moment. "I'll see you at the office, Mr. Emrys." She turns and practically flees from his house, her heart beating wildly in her chest.

...

When she goes to work, she immediately notices that he's not in his office. Mainly because he always props his door open when he's in there. Right then, it's closed. She frowns as she sets down her bag on her work desk and looks around for him. He may be an arse, but he was really good at what he does, and in the 11 months she's been working for him, he's been late... never.

She should enjoy this time away from him, but she's almost fearful that he may have taken their 'disagreement' a little too harshly.

Twenty minutes later, the elevators open up, and Morgana almost sighs in relief as Merlin comes walking in, wearing one of his usual dark work suits, not the one she picked up that morning. He doesn't look at her as he passes her on his way into his office.

Today, he doesn't prop his door open. He leaves it closed for the whole day, and not once did he call her for anything. She finds that she's thoroughly bored doing nothing. More than once, she had almost gone into his office to ask if he needed anything done, but she stops herself.

Maybe this is a good thing.

At the end of the day, Morgana is forced to enter his office so she can ask to be relieved. He doesn't look up from his Mac, merely nodding when she notifies him that she's leaving.

...

She finds out from Gwen, her friend from work, that Merlin had successfully done a business merger with Pendragon stocks, and there would be a celebratory gathering next Saturday which all staff of the Camelot Stock Company were required to attend.

She groans at the thought of attending a 'party' which she had no desire to attend. Mainly because it was full of people she didn't know or like, save for Gwen.

Days go by really slow for Morgana, and Merlin was still ignoring her, which she tells herself she's grateful for. Gwen tells her to be careful about making him mad, reminding the green-eyes beauty of Merlin's temper when he's really angry.

She doesn't have to be careful though, because Merlin acts like she didn't even exist. Which she's fine with. Though honestly, she wonders why he hasn't fired her yet.

Before she knows it, Saturday rolls around, and for the first time since their little quarrel at his home, Merlin speaks to her... Or rather, orders her. "There's a company party tonight, held at the Barbican Centre." He doesn't even look at her, only staring at his phone screen. "All members of the company will attend." With that, he walks back into his office.

Morgana stares after him, wondering just how much he hates her now. Lucky for her, she had gone shopping last weekend and found a beautiful, and slightly revealing red dress for the party, so she didn't have to do any last minute shopping tonight.

...

When she arrives at the party, everything was already in full swing. Partygoers all had drinks in their hands and were standing around chatting with each other as soft classical music plays in the background. The place was utterly breathtaking with the antiquity feel of it. She notes how she's never been to one of these luxurious, formal events before, and she feels completely out of place.

She scans the room for any familiar faces, but then she realizes she didn't really know anyone, save for Gwen and Merlin. When she catches sight of Merlin, he's sitting in the far end of the room, nursing a glass of some dark liquid, and completely ignoring all the girls giggling and making fools of themselves, trying to catch his attention.

For the umpteenth time, Morgana wishes he were ugly. It'd be so much easier to hate him. Not that she's having a hard time hating him. He's just... too gorgeous in his not-so-stupid dark suit, and bow tie. She thinks he looks like James bloody Bond... She can't help her next thought.

 _He looks better than James Bond though._

With a hopeless sigh, she heads over to the bar, determined to get a drink that would hopefully render all the partygoers ugly in her eyes.

...

Merlin was not happy. He can't tell why, because he doesn't even know the reason. He should be having a great time, talking to people, intermingling, chatting up the ladies who so obviously want his attention, and perhaps even looking for Uther Pendragon and his son, Arthur who the whole event is in honor of welcoming. But he just didn't want to do anything.

A flash of red catches his eye, and Merlin's jaw practically hits the floor as his blue eyes drink in the sight of a certain assistant of his. He's always known she was pretty, beautiful even. But tonight, she's outdone herself.

"Whoa. Who's the sexy broad in red?"

Merlin's eyebrows scrunch together at the unfamiliar voice, turning to find a blonde, life-sized Ken doll grinning, his dark eyes fixated on Morgana. "Who the hell are you?" He queries suspiciously.

The blonde gives him an equally suspicious look, his grin slowly disappearing. "I should ask you the same thing."

The dark-haired man holds out his hand, though both men knew it was not a polite hand shake. "The name is Merlin. Merlin Emrys."

There's a flicker of recognition in the blonde mans eyes as he shows his teeth in an obviously forced smile. "So _you're_ the CEO of Camelot Stocks."

"That I am... And you are?"

The blonde feigns an apologetic look. "Oh, where are my manners?" He dusts his hand quickly against his jacket and extends it, shaking Merlin's hand. "I'm Arthur. Uther Pendragon's son."

Merlin is not sure why, but he had figured as much. Blonde pretty boy, dazzling white smile, expensive Armani suit. He should've known that he was Uther's son and probably heir to the company. "Of course you are." Merlin smirks, ignoring the brief offended look on Arthur's face.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Merlin merely shrugs, "Exactly what I said."

Arthur glares, and Merlin is unfazed. "My father sent me in his stead. He has an important meeting in Paris that he cannot miss." The blonde man gestures with his hand. "He sends his sincere apologies."

Merlin nods his head, a soft sigh of relief leaving his lips at not having to spend the whole night talking to some old guy. "I'm sure he does. Send him my regards."

Arthur grins, "I will." Widening his eyes animatedly, he casually throws an arm over Merlin's shoulder as though they were best friends and not just mere business associates who know next to nothing about each other. "Now, on to more important matters." The blonde grins and nods in the direction of the bar. "Who, is that lovely little minx over there?"

Merlin glances in the direction the blonde man is indicating and immediately catches sight of Morgana. He grits his teeth and shrugs away from Arthur. "That would be my assistant."

Arthur quirks an eyebrow at him. "And what exactly does she assist you with?" Without waiting for an answer, he leans forward and whispers as if they were sharing some big secret. "I bet she assists you with your..." He trails off and gives Merlin the once-over. "Deepest desires." He wriggles his eyebrows and laughs.

Merlin rolls his eyes at that. "She is merely my assistant. She answers calls, sets up meetings, checks my schedule. A mere coworker." He waves a hand dismissively. "Nothing more, nothing less."

Arthur's grin only widens, "Ah! That's perfect. So she's free?"

Merlin honestly wanted to kick himself. He should've seen this coming. "Free?" He questions blankly.

"Single, I mean. I've heard one too many stories of bosses sleeping with their assistants."

Merlin glares, his nostrils flaring, and his hands balling up into fists. _How dare this plastic blonde doll ask me if Morgana is free and whether I'm sleeping with her?!_ He almost punches the blonde man in the face, but stops himself at the last millisecond _. That would practically tear our new company alliance apart._

Gritting his teeth, Merlin forces out, "I don't know if she's single. She's my assistant. Not the other way around." He doesn't stick around to find out whether Arthur goes over to Morgana, instead Merlin leaves the room in search of some fresh air.

...

Authors Note: So, I know I just kind of cut the chapter off, but it'll pick up where it left off on the next chapter. I hope you all liked this chapter. Thank you for reading and please review!

-McDiggin'It


	3. Chapter 3

Title: The Wrong Emotion

Author's Note: So, I decided to make Arthur and Freya the "bad guys" for this chapter, which I kind of feel bad for because I genuinely like both of their characters, but I promise I won't make them too bad. I also know that that last chapter was a bit angsty, but we all know we can't have dessert before the actual meal. At some point, shit hits the fan. So I apologize to those who wanted the whole sack of fluff. Patience is a virtue!

-McDiggin'It

...

Chapter Three:

Morgana has just made up her mind about her drink when an unfamiliar voice startles her.

"I'll have a glass of bourbon."

Morgana turns her head in the direction of the voice, catching sight of a blonde man in a navy blue suit. His eyes are a dark brown color, his nose is pointed, and his teeth are dazzling white. He's roguishly handsome with a glint of mischief in his eyes. She looks away quickly when he notices her staring, and from her peripherals, she could tell he's grinning at her.

"Also, I'd like to pay for this beautiful lady's drink."

She takes that as her cue and turns to look at him again. She smiles, and turns to the bartender, "I'll have a glass of Irish whiskey on the rocks." She then returns her gaze to the blonde stranger who looks impressed at her drink choice. "Thank you, mister..."

"Pendragon." He bows slightly as if she were royalty. "But you can call me Arthur." He straightens and smiles at her. "Formalities aren't really my thing."

She couldn't help but think of Merlin and his strong dislike of formalities. She briefly wonders where he is before her thoughts are pulled back to Arthur, who's grinning at her. "And you're..."

She smiles again, "Morgana Le Faye."

Arthur nods, taking her hand without her permission and placing a lingering kiss on the back of it. "A pleasure to meet you, Miss Le Faye."

She rolls her eyes playfully at him. "If we're not doing the whole formalities thing, then you should call me Morgana."

Conversations with Arthur Pendragon, are quite easy going. He jokes about practically everything, and Morgana finds that she actually enjoys his company. But something felt off. She couldn't remember what it is, but she couldn't shake the feeling that she forgot to do something. After about half an hour of talking to Arthur, Morgana excuses herself to the restroom.

"I'll be right here when you return." Arthur had given another slight mock bow as she turned and went looking for the loo.

She's almost at the doors when a voice stops her. "Morgana?" The dark haired, green-eyed girl turns to find her friend, Gwen looking at her with a wide grin on her face. "You look amazing!" Gwen exclaims to which Morgana thanks her and gives Gwen the once-over.

"You look incredible as well!" She says honestly, admiring Gwen's beautiful dark blue dress.

"Thanks." Gwen looks down at herself and blushes. "I'm usually never dressed like this."

Morgana chuckles lightly, "Well you look marvelous in your dress, Gwen."

The other girl laughs, and then asks curiously, "Where are you headed?"

"Just to the restroom."

Gwen nods, "Well, if you need me, I'll be at the bar. Nearly an hour of talking to Lance can really bore the living hell out of you."

Morgana laughs, nodding as she leaves the room in search of the restroom. Somehow, she ends up down the hallway, with no restrooms in sight. You would think that a place so huge would have restrooms literally everywhere. Huffing in annoyance, the dark haired girl continues down the hall and making a blind left turn.

Morgana halts in her step at the sight of her boss, standing just outside a set of double doors, his back to her as he leans over the railing. She doesn't know exactly why she stands there and watches him, but that's exactly what she's doing.

"Has anyone ever told you that it's rude to stare?"

Morgana's eyes widen as Merlin turns around and looks directly at her. "I wasn't staring." She snaps.

He rolls his eyes and looks away to his left. "If you say so."

She wonders why he's so bitter and mean about everything. Surely there was something out there that makes him happy? "I was just looking for the restrooms, but instead I..." She trails off, leaving the rest for him to figure out.

"Found me." He nods and pushes away from the railings to walk to her.

Morgana swallows hard, not knowing what to do as he moves closer to her. He stops right in front of her and leans down, his face dangerously close to hers as he practically stares right into her eyes. He squints, as if he's spotted something and turns his head and leans further into her so his mouth is beside her ear. He whispers softly, his warm breath tickling her ear, "I hear the owner of this place had a fear of germs, so he had the place designed without restrooms."

He pulls away, biting the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing at Morgana's horrified expression.

"Then why the bloody hell would you choose to have a celebration with an open bar in a place with no restrooms?" She's confused when Merlin bursts out laughing, his blue eyes barely visible as he nearly cried from laughter. "What the hell are you doing?" She demands.

His laughter dies down as he takes a step away from her, fearful that she might actually deck him in the face. "Morgana, did you really think that anyone in their right mind, would build such a large and not to mention, luxurious auditorium with not a single restroom in it?"

Morgana resists the urge to groan. She had been so nervous about his close proximity, that she hadn't even stopped to think about what he had said, or notice the absurdity of it.

Merlin chuckles lightly at the look of realization dawning on her. "The restrooms are down the left, second door on your right." He grins, pointing to the left.

She glares at him, her nostrils flaring in anger. "And you wonder why I hate you?" She turns and stomps off in the direction he had indicated, muttering obscenities under her breath about her boss.

Merlin smiles, taking a couple steps forward and watching his assistant continue down the hall. He can't shake the unfamiliar feeling spreading across his chest. He's never felt it before, and he's not entirely sure he dislikes the feeling.

As the party continues, Merlin finds that his boredom has increased. You could only have so many people interrupt you on your way to the bar.

Lance even manages to hold him in a rather dull conversation on politics for a full 3 minutes before Merlin tells him to stop talking, and then walks away. Merlin freezes mid-step when he catches sight of Morgana, seated beside Arthur Pendragon, laughing at something the blonde was saying.

Immediately, another unfamiliar feeling spreads across his chest, and he has some trouble swallowing. He realizes how the green-eyed assistant of his always seems to be the one to emit these unfamiliar feelings within him. This one burns, and he doesn't like it.

The feeling intensifies a thousand fold when Arthur gets up and pulls Morgana up with him, his arm wrapping around her tiny waist. Together, the two walk towards the center of the room where a few couples were already swaying in place.

Merlin's jaw clenches as he heads to the bar and orders a glass of straight Jameson. As soon as the drink hits the counter, Merlin knocks it back in a giant gulp, enjoying the burn of the liquid as it slides down his throat. He orders another almost immediately.

"Something upset you, Merlin?"

Merlin closes his eyes and grits his teeth at the familiar voice. "That's none of your business, Freya." He doesn't bother to even look at her.

The girl laughs and takes the seat beside him. "No one is allowed to make you their business. Not even I, who you dated for 3 whole years."

"What are you doing here?" He still doesn't look at her, though he knows she's staring right at him.

"I work for Uther Pendragon now."

He nods at the bartender who hands him his drink, and then takes a sip. "That's nice." He tells her honestly, though he doesn't really care.

"I'm Arthur Pendragon's plus one."

Merlin smiles at her tone. Does she think I'm jealous of that pompous little git? "Clearly." He doesn't have to look at her to know that she's currently looking for her blonde friend. Her silence is answer enough. "Looks like he doesn't find his plus one very entertaining."

"At least he has a soul."

Merlin could hear the bitterness in her voice, recalling the same tone she had used every time they argued while they were "together" almost 2 years ago.

"I'm not the one who left." He addresses the unasked question.

"You gave me no choice!" She whispers furiously. "You acted as if I were invisible, treated me like crap, and only slept with me when you were too drunk to care that I was throwing myself at you!"

Merlin finally looks at her, and he didn't look slightly interested in holding a conversation with the girl. "Forgive me." He doesn't mean it of course. "I had no idea I still have the same effect on you."

A slap to the face is rather unsurprising. His cheek stings as he looks at her with the same bored expression on his face. "And obviously you still have the same reactions."

He gets out of his seat, refusing to look across the dance floor at a certain red clad assistant of his as he leaves the room again, this time, for good.

Unbeknownst to him, a pair of green eyes has been watching the entire scene, and is currently following his movements towards the door with her eyes.

...

Morgana warily glances at her boss again as he throws another stack of paperwork off his desk. His temper is quite surprising. She's heard of how bad his temper is, but seeing it firsthand is a little unnerving. He's been livid since a phone call from Arthur.

"Morgana!" 

She's startled at him calling her name. _'Damnit, I thought he forgot I was still here.'_ She forces herself out of her seat and slowly drags her feet towards Merlin's office door. "Yes?" she didn't input the 'Mr. Emrys', not really wanting to anger him any further, and her pride refusing to call him by his given name because she still hates him.

Merlin glares at her from where he's standing behind his desk. "Call Uther Pendragon and schedule a meeting with him." He pauses to chuck a stapler at the wall. "I will _not_ have his childish son handling our stocks exchange!"

"Yes, sir." She turns, but he stops her with a shriek.

"Stop calling me 'sir', Morgana! My bloody name is Merlin!"

She doesn't say anything as she goes to her desk and begins dialing Uther Pendragon's number, while wondering what it is that Arthur had said to make him so mad.

"And hurry up!" Merlin snaps loudly from his office.

By the end of the day, Morgana was on the verge of resigning. Merlin's temper had multiplied after Arthur and the girl from the other night had showed up at his office. The girl who had slapped him. She was almost sure that the girl was Merlin's ex. The only thing that didn't make sense, was Merlin's eyes. He didn't give her a look of adoration or longing. He just looked bored and annoyed.

Arthur had stopped at her desk on his way out and asked her out for dinner that night, and Morgana smiled at him before writing her number down on a piece of paper and handing it to the blonde man. "I can't speak right now." She had told him honestly.

Arthur merely nodded and left with the other girl in tow.

When she gets the phone call from Arthur, she's almost surprised, having forgotten that she had given him her number. "Hello, Arthur."

"Hello there, Milady." He greets jokingly. "So I was wondering if you're free tonight?"

Morgana had to think for a moment, checking for her free time, and finding that she has quite a lot of free time. "Of course." She answers with a smile. She doesn't know what it is, but talking to Arthur was so easy. Almost too easy. "What did you have planned?"

"It's a surprise." Arthur drawls in a rather mischievous tone.

"I'm not sure I like surprises." She tells him honestly.

He chuckles at that, "I promise you'll like this one."

She hesitates, but then decides it can't be that bad. "Fine."

"Great!" Arthur exclaims in an excited tone. "Meet me in front of The Aqua Shard at 8pm."

Upon hanging up, Morgana wonders what exactly the blonde man was up to. It's not like she doesn't trust him... Well, she doesn't actually trust him, so she's a little nervous.

She's pulled out of her thoughts when her phone rings again, this time, the name that pops up on her caller ID, is "Sir Jerks-a-Lot". She stares at it for a moment, wondering what the bloody hell he wants now. She's never really gotten a call from him after work before, so she's a little hesitant as she presses her thumb to the green call button.

"Morgana, I need you to meet me at the office tonight at 8p.m... Don't be late."

"But-" she begins to protest, but he cuts her off rudely.

" _Don't_ be late."

"But I have plans tonight with..." She trails off at the sound of the dial tone. "Arthur".

...

She has half a mind to not show up to the office to meet Merlin, and she sighs in frustration when Arthur doesn't answer his phone. She was going to ask if they could postpone their dinner to another night, but now she doesn't know what to do since no one is answering their bloody phone.

If she doesn't show up to dinner with Arthur, he'll think she's a horrible person. Not that she really cares what he thinks. And if she doesn't show up to the office to meet Sir Jerks-a-Lot, he'll probably fire her the next day.

Morgana was utterly torn. Meet with the man who seems to adore her? Or the man who she hates and obviously hates her back?

 _This is quite the dilemma._

...

A/N: So, I'm really curious to know what you all think of this chapter. I'm not sure if I really liked it or not, and I'm also very nervous about the whole Freya/Merlin and Morgana/Arthur route. Perhaps I should've used Gwen instead? I don't know what to think, so let me know what YOU think, please! Reviews are love!

-McDiggin'It


	4. Chapter 4

Title: The Wrong Emotion

A/N: Hello, lovelies! Thank you all for reading. And to the people who reviewed, thank you so very much. I appreciate it. I'm also not ignoring anyone's requests, and I've taken into consideration some of the reviews. Not to worry, no one will end up lonely in this fic. At least I hope they don't.. I just have the main plot of the story outlined. Anyway, thanks again and let me know what you think, aye?

-McDiggin'It

...

Chapter Four:

Morgana bites her lip as she stares at the clock above her fireplace. Twenty-three minutes to 8, and she has yet to make up her mind.

Three more minutes go by before she takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. A flash of blonde wavy hair, brown eyes, pointed nose, and almost feminine lips smiling back at her. Then there's another flash, this time, of dark unruly hair, blue eyes, high and defined cheekbones, and quite possibly the most annoyingly mesmerizing lips set in a near permanent frown

Really, this decision should've been easy. But something inside her still couldn't choose between the two. And bloody hell, it's not like they're both asking her out on a bloody date! One is asking for dinner and the other is asking for a meeting at the office, probably to reorganize all the paperwork he had tossed around in his office earlier.

She opens her eyes and takes her purse as she gets to her feet and heads for the door. She was going to make up her mind on the way to the car.

She's suddenly driving towards _The Shard,_ and she begins to relax. Merlin will understand, right? A part of her mind scoffs and laughs at her. _No he bloody well won't understand. He's Merlin!_

Just as _The Shard_ comes into view, Morgana comes to a stop light. She stares at the light and watches as it turns from red to green. As if possessed, she takes the next U-turn up the street and drives towards Camelot Stocks Company, her right foot heavy on the gas pedal as she glances at the time on her cars dashboard. She curses loudly as she exceeds the speed limit, hurrying to get to the office. She's already late!

As she drives, she grabs her phone and dials Arthur's number again, leaving an apology on his voicemail, for not showing up.

She tells herself she's going back only because she needs the job, but that other part of her, the one that annoyingly always seems the more rational, tells her it's for a whole different reason. She refuses to voice said reason to herself, so she turns the volume up on the car radio, and begins to belt out the lyrics to 'Fire Meet Gasoline' alongside Sia.

...

When Morgana walks into the office, the whole place is dark, save for a single computer screen brightly shining from her boss's office. She hesitantly walks towards his office, wondering what the hell is going on and why the lights are still off.

"You're late." His voice startles her upon reaching his door.

She looks around and edges slowly towards the light switch beside the open door. "I ran into some traffic." She fibs. She could barely make out his whole face, only one side illuminated by the computer screen.

He looks up, his blue eyes squinting to try and lock onto her green ones. "I told you not to be late."

She's thankful for the darkness for once because she could roll her eyes freely then without him noticing. "Look, I don't control the traffic, ok? I thought I was going to make it on time, but I thought wrong, so I apologize for being late." She really wishes she could just go back home. Being near him is just so exhausting!

He gets up from his desk, and Morgana nervously fidgets with a tiny piece of thread from her purse. He was walking towards her now, until he stops right in front of her and leans forward really slowly. Morgana closes her eyes and holds her breath as she waits for what he's about to do.

Suddenly, there's a click and a bright light begins to flood right through her closed eye lids. "I need you to make a list of all the people from Pendragon Stocks who will be transferring here." He says, and Morgana forces her eyes open. Her face reddens as she lets out a shaky breath, not really sure what she had expected.

Merlin turns and heads back to his desk. "I'll need that list immediately."

She first notices his casual attire. A simple black fitted long sleeved shirt that clings to his lean, but muscled frame, and white khakis. She doesn't think she's ever seen him in anything that isn't a suit. It's odd. He looks a little more human right then and there.

She then notices how the paperwork that had littered his floor earlier was now sitting in a neat stack on his desk. She wonders why he hadn't made her do it like he used to. She pushes the thought to the very back of her cluttered mind.

She moves to go to her desk to begin on that list, but he call her name and looks at her as if he expects her to read his bloody mind. "Yes?"

He shifts uncomfortably, reaching up to pull at the neck of his shirt and clears his throat. She wasn't entirely sure, but she swears she sees him blush. "You should work in here tonight. So you don't have to turn on all the lights out there, you know? It's way too bright in here anyway." He doesn't wait for her answer before he's returning to his paperwork.

She couldn't help the way her lips lift into a tiny smile as she goes to sit on the empty chair in front of his desk.

Their work is done in silence, until Morgana is pulled from her work by Merlin's alarmed voice.

"What is _that_?"

Morgana looks at him questioningly. "What is what?" she's confused for a moment, and then she hears it. The small buzzing sound of a bee. She sees the little intruder a moment later, whizzing by Merlin's head and announces the fact to her boss. "It's a bee."

"A _WHAT_?!" Merlin jumps to his feet, knocking over a stack of paperwork and backs up against the wall, his eyes wide with fear and his already pale complexion draining of even more color.

Morgana's eyes are wide from surprise. The great, almighty Merlin Emrys who fears no man, animal, or machine, is deathly afraid of a little insect?

Honestly, she should've thought it was funny, but she doesn't. As she stares at him, blindly flailing his arms in a horrible attempt to swat the bee away, she wonders why he fears something so small and measly.

Normal men fear snakes, and vicious creatures. For most women, they feared spiders. But this man, who seemed inhumane just a few hours ago, now seems too human in his casual clothes and fear of bees. The thought is unsettling. The most unsettling thought that flits through her mind though, is her wish to kill the bloody bee.

And she does exactly that, jumping to her feet and grabbing a clipboard from Merlin's desk. She pauses as her eyes follow the bee to the edge of his desk. With one swift smack, she manages to kill the culprit.

An audible sigh of relief comes from Merlin as he slumps against the wall and swallows audibly as he closes his eyes. Morgana makes out the sweat on his forehead as he reaches a hand up and pulls at a silver chain around his neck. One she's never noticed him wearing before.

She's not sure what to do now, so she puts the clipboard back after making sure the bee was indeed dead. She takes a piece of paper and uses it to pick up the lifeless bee, crumpling it into a ball and throwing it in the trash bin beside Merlin's desk. "It's dead." She tells him.

Merlin opens his eyes and stares at her with wide eyes as if he had forgotten she was still there. He pushes away from the wall and clears his throat loudly. "Err... Morgana, I'd like to ask that we keep this-" he pauses and gestures at the trash bin with the dead bee, "between us."

Morgana doesn't say anything, but she nods.

He nods too a moment later, and moves to his desk, slowly sitting back down in his chair. She notices his slim fingers shaking as he wipes the sweat from his forehead. One would think he'd just finished battling a dragon. "Err," he pauses and looks at Morgana with a look she's only ever seen on his face once before. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, Merlin."

They continue their work until the 10th hour and Merlin releases her to go home after her list was complete, with a promise of a bonus for coming in to the office at a late hour.

She leaves, but her thoughts linger in the office with the blue-eyed man who feared bees. He's been full of surprises lately.

That night, she changes the name "Sir Jerks-a-Lot" in her phone contacts to just "Merlin". She thinks he's kind of earned it.

...

Merlin is well aware of the fact that he's staring. But he can't bring himself to stop, and he doesn't want to. His face is... well, it's probably a sight no one is ever going to behold because right now, he's grinning like an idiot, teeth showing and all.

She really has no clue what she does to him just by wearing those skimpy little skirts, and those 3 inch heels that make her legs look even longer. He swallows hard as he scoots away from his desk when he feels a certain part of his anatomy get a little too excited.

A moment later, his eyes widen as he watches Morgana turn around from her desk and walk to his door, knocking before poking her head inside. "Merlin, you have Uther on line 2."

He merely nods and goes to reach for the phone. He stops, inwardly groaning and cursing himself for putting the phone so far from his reach. Not too far that he'd have to leave his desk, but far enough that he'd have to get up and reach for it.

He glances over at the door, watching Morgana watch him with a questioning look. He feels his face warm up as he looks down at his desk. "Ok." He tells her with a nod, hoping she'd leave. She doesn't. Instead, she stands there and continues to stare at him.

"Aren't you going to answer that?" She asks incredulously. _He's only been waiting for the bloody call from Uther Pendragon for the past 3 days!_

"Yes," he nods and looks around frantically for something to cover himself with. He settles for the piece of paper in front of him, grabbing it and holding it low in front of him as he reaches for the phone and pulls it towards him. Immediately, he sits back down and presses the number 2.

Nothing can quite take away a mans boner than another mans voice demanding why his son is not worthy of handling stocks exchange between companies.

Morgana stares at Merlin, wondering what the bloody hell is wrong with him today. He's been acting really weird, and he kept looking at her. She looks down at herself while blindly reaching for her back to see if maybe there were a sign taped to her back by one of her other coworkers, but nothing looked or felt different on her. Shrugging mentally to herself, she goes back to her desk.

As if on cue, her work phone rings, and she answers it the way she always does. "Mr. Merlin Emrys's office, my name is Morgana. How may I help you, sir or ma'am?"

"Hmmm, how about dinner tonight at my place?"

Morgana pauses, pulling the phone away from her ear to look at the caller I.D. "Arthur?"

"Yes, Milady." He chuckles. "The perks of being the son of the man who runs the company which is currently undergoing a merger with your boss's company."

"And what might that perk be?"

"Well, I get the direct number to Merlin's office, which I happen to know, goes through his lovely assistant before it gets to him."

Morgana chuckles in response, "Aren't you supposed to be at work?"

"Ah, and there's another perk."

She rolls her eyes as she laughs, "of course. Being the son of the boss must have its perks."

Arthur laughs from the other end. "So how about dinner tonight? My place? Sayyyy, 7:30-ish?"

"I'd be glad to-"

"MORGANA!" Merlin yells from his office, startling her.

"I have to go." Morgana sighs, sliding back from her desk.

"But-"

"I'll talk to you later." She cuts in. With that, she hangs up and gets out of her seat to see what Merlin wants _now_. She stomps over to his door and looks at him.

"Yes, Merlin?"

He narrows his eyes at her from his desk. "Who were you talking to?"

"No one." She answers a little too quickly. "I mean, a friend of mine just called to see if I would be available tonight for dinner." She shrugs nonchalantly.

Merlin's eyes continue to narrow suspiciously at her before he gets up and out of his seat. He walks around it, his right hand going to the buttons on his suit, and slowly, _very_ slowly, he unbuttons it. He looks at her with dark eyes as he leans onto his desk and crosses a foot over the other. "Does your friend know that you're working right now?"

She stares at him with her mouth slightly open. _How could he make such an innocent task of unbuttoning a damned suit look so mesmerizing?_ "Ermm... I think so."

Merlin slides his hands into the pockets of his pants and cocks his head to the side. "Well, please let your friend know that you can't have dinner with them tonight."

"What?" She asks incredulously. "Why not?"

He gives her a look as if it were obvious. He seems to do that a lot. "Because you're helping me with this stack tonight." He gestures to the paperwork on his desk and then gives her a sly smile. "Someone on Uther's side of the company is not doing their job, so... It's up to us to do it."

She wonders if he somehow knows that Arthur was her friend on the phone. "Merlin, I understand that there are a few incompetent people not doing their jobs, but I can hardly see why _we_ have to do their job for them."

Merlin laughs at that, and she could instantly tell that his laugh held no humor in it. "Well, as the CEO of this company, it's my job to ensure that everything is okay, and nothing is ruined because of some people's incompetence." He then pulls a hand from his pocket and gestures at her, "and as my assistant, it is your job to assist me with whatever I need assistance with."

She nods, inwardly groaning. "I understand."

He nods at her and smiles, "Good." He straightens back up and buttons his suit back up as he turns to go back to his seat. Morgana turns to do the same, grumbling under her breath about incompetent bosses.

"Oh, and Morgana?"

She grits her teeth, takes a deep breath, then plasters a fake enthusiastic smile on her face. "Yes, Merlin?" She queries all too sweetly.

"Extend my apologies to Arthur as well, will you?"

Morgana's eyes widen in surprise. "Errr, pardon?" She knows she didn't hear him incorrectly, but she wishes he would elaborate on the matter.

Merlin grins at her, "I'm sure he's feeling a little... Deprived. Tell him I send my sincere apologies for stealing you from him yet again." without another word, he returns to his work, obviously dismissing her.

 _He knew all along?! Was he making her work at night on purpose?... Hm, of course he's deliberately doing this!_ She bites her tongue to keep from shrieking in frustration as she stalks back to her desk angrily.

...

A/N: Ok, so the next chapter will have a small time jump, and there will be more mentions of Uther, Freya, Arthur, and Gwen. I apologize for this slow chapter, but I promise that it's all building up to the awesome plot bunny I had in mind when I first began to write this fic. Thank you for reading. To those who left reviews, I love you all very much! Thank you!

-McDiggin'It


	5. Chapter 5

Title: The Wrong Emotion

A/N: Heads up, guys! This chapter is the longest one yet. But I hope you guys like it. Also, there was a review that mentioned the fact that Arthur's eyes are blue, not brown. I know it is, and I meant to explain the color change in my last note, but I forgot. I apologize for that little bit. I deliberately changed Arthur's eye color to brown because I wanted Morgana to solely associate the color blue with Merlin's eyes and no one else. If that makes any sense. But thank you to all those who reviewed. I wanted to reply to all the reviews, but I really wanted this story to be updated regularly so there are no long waits or anything. I hope you'll understand. But thank you all again for reading and reviewing. You are awesome people!

-McDiggin'It

...

Chapter Five:

It's cold today, not only in temperature, but also in Merlin.

Morgana doesn't mind the silent treatment, but the cold shoulder and the snapping-at-her-every-five-minutes is getting to be a bit much.

It's been 4 weeks since she started dating Arthur. And 6 since Arthur learned that their first 2 attempts at having dinner had been postponed because of Merlin. The blonde man had marched up to Merlin's office the very next day after she told him and demanded why Merlin was being a prick.

Merlin of course merely rolled his eyes, "Before I call the security on you, I'll give you a chance to elaborate on your question."

"You kept Morgana from having dinner with me, twice!"

"I didn't do it for the fun of it." Merlin shrugs and leans back in his seat. "Morgana is my assistant. And there are things in her job description that she's required to do. Like, oh I don't know, assist me?"

"Well, I would appreciate it if you would treat her like a co-worker, and not a servant who you expect to run to your every beck and call."

Morgana watched silently as the whole thing unfolded. When she glanced over at Merlin, she knew almost instantly that he was about to lose it. He was getting up on his feet. his hands were balled into fists, his jaw was clenched tightly, and his eyebrows were knit together in anger. Even his blue eyes almost looked grey. "Mr. Pendragon, I'm sure your father lets you talk to him this way, but you will not come into _my_ office and do the same... It will be wise for you to think before you speak where I am concerned. Your father may be able to protect you from work, but he won't be able to do a damned thing against me."

Arthur raised an eyebrow and leaned forward with narrowed eyes. "Is that a threat, Mr. Emrys?"

"Of course not, Mr. Pendragon. That's a promise."

Morgana had chosen that moment to jump between the two, and kindly asked Arthur to leave. Reluctantly, the blonde man had obeyed her and left. After that, Merlin had stopped talking to her, again.

...

Morgana inhales deeply and turns her head towards the plane window to look out over the city as Merlin's private jet takes off into the sunset. Perks of being the CEO's assistant, she gets to ride in his private jet with him. Everyone else has to ride economy in a regular plane. She doesn't feel too bad about the special treatment, seeing as how everyone, including herself, got a Holiday package, courtesy of the "CEO" (it's a company policy and part of the job benefits). They get to spend a whole 3 day weekend at "Le Grand Bornand", a beautiful ski resort in France.

Morgana isn't really a big fan of skiing, but she doesn't mind the hotel and pampering part of the package. Plus, there would be a Winter Ball held at the resort, which the CEO is required to attend, and being Merlin's assistant denies her the freedom to choose whether to go or not.

She chances a glance at her boss on her right side, and sees he's already made himself comfortable, propping his feet up and reclining his seat so he's laid back with his eyes closed.

She watches him for a few minutes, knowing he's fallen asleep when the rise and fall of his chest evens out in a smooth rhythm.

She notices how calm and almost beautiful he looks when he's asleep. The gentle rays of the sunset shining through his window, gracing his facial features, temporarily leaving him in an almost ethereal glow that manages to make him look like a bloody god. _The god of sexy arseholes._ She groans, forcing her eyes away from his face.

"We're not playing this game right now." She mutters to herself.

"And what game is that?"

His voice startles her, partly from the fact that she thought he was asleep, and partly from the fact that she thought he was giving her the silent treatment. She looks at him with a questioning look. "Pardon?"

"You said 'we're not playing this game'." He sits up, straightening his seat again as he looks at her. "So what game is it that you were referring to?"

She blanks out as her mind frantically tries to think of a game. "Errrr, well... The truth game." She blurts out, then inwardly groans. _The truth game? Really?_

Merlin raises an eyebrow at her. "The truth game?" He sits up straighter and folds his arms across his chest. "What is that?"

 _Oh bloody bollocks!_ She comes up with something believable, muttering "It's sort of like the 21 questions game, except it's more personal."

Merlin looks around the nearly empty plane. "And you were going to play this game by yourself?"

She grits her teeth, realizing just how ridiculous it sounds. She blushes and looks down at her jeans. "I guess that was a dumb thought." She murmurs, to which Merlin unfolds his arms and leans his arm against the arm rest.

"I'll do it."

She blinks blankly at him, "Do what?"

He rolls his eyes, "I'll play the truth game with you." He shrugs, "It's not like we're going anywhere for the next hour." He looks at his expensive watch then back at her, "That is, unless you want to play by yourself."

Morgana bites her lip, her mind wandering around, trying to find any flaws and downsides to this idea. But as she stares into Merlin's blue eyes, she realizes that this is her chance to ask him anything she wants to know about him. To maybe finally get to know the real him and the reasons he _is_ the way he is. "Ok." She nods, sitting up straighter and facing him. "You can go first if you'd like." She adds politely.

Almost immediately, Merlin asks his first question. As though he's been wanting to ask her for a while. "Where do you live?"

She blinks at him quizzically. "London."

He rolls his eyes, "Really? I hadn't noticed." His tone dripping with sarcasm. "I meant _where_ in London do you live?"

"Oh." She looks down at her hands in embarrassment. _One bloody question and I already sound like a bloody idiot_ , "I live in Norbury Crescent."

Merlin's eyebrows knit together in confusion. "Is that far from the office?"

Morgana grins, shaking her head. "That's 2 questions." She chuckles and crosses a leg over the other one as she props her chin up on the heel of her hand. "My turn." She thinks for a few moments then asks tentatively, knowing that he could very well get angry at her question. "Where's your family?" She tries not to wince at the look on his face. A look she's only seen once during the bee attack incident. Fear. "You don't have to answer that," she says quickly. "I'll just ask a different question-"

"No." Merlin shakes his head and sighs heavily. "You answered my question, so I'll answer yours." He glances quickly out his window then looks back at her. "My parents are dead. The only family I have left, is my uncle Gaius, who lives with me at my home."

Morgana blanches, realizing just how painful it must've been for him to answer that. "I'm so sorry about your parents." She gives him a sympathetic look.

He shrugs, "I barely remember them. I was only 6 when they died."

 _Oh bloody hell. Why did I have to ask about his family? Now I feel horrible for assuming he was a rich, arrogant prat who lived off of his parents success._

Shebreaks from her thoughtswhen he asks, "What's your favorite color?"

It's an odd question, but she answers truthfully. "Red..." She smiles at a memory that comes to mind at the color. "My mother used to fill my room with red roses whenever I got sick. It always made me feel better."

When she looks at him again, he's studying her. He nods a moment later, "It's your turn."

She's not sure which one to ask, but she settles for asking him about his favorite color as well.

He shrugs, "I don't have one."

She gives him an incredulous stare, "What do you mean you don't have one? _Everyone_ has a favorite color!"

He shrugs yet again, "Well then I haven't figured it out yet."

She huffs, rolling her eyes. "Fine... But I get to ask another question."

He nods, gesturing for her to go ahead.

She thinks for a long moment about her next question, deciding that she wanted to know what he does outside of work. She takes her time to carefully word her question. "What do you do for fun?"

He silently stares at her for a very long time, which she supposes is understandable. The question is a loaded one. One that requires a loaded answer.

After what felt like forever, Merlin finally answers, albeit a little too softly. "My definition of the word 'fun' revolved around my parents." He stops, a faraway look in his eyes. "I didn't have any friends. At my 5th birthday party, the only people I knew there, were my parents and my uncle Gaius. Everyone else worked for my father." He shrugs, looking deeply into Morgana's eyes. "The fun part of that day, was when my mother read me a bedtime story, and my father tucked me in. So, I have no time to think about 'fun'."

Morgana doesn't know how long she's been staring, utterly speechless. _A five year old. He was a five year old with no friends, no fun, the only fun he gets is a bedtime story! A bloody bedtime story! On his bloody birthday!_

"What do _you_ do for fun?"

Morgana grins, partly because she expected the question, and partly because she's relieved at the change of subject, "I do some reading, sometimes I go out and take long walks, I stop at a pub every now and then and randomly take my pick of the pubs extensive collection of malt liquors, and... I paint."

"Paint?" Merlin smiles then. A genuine smile. "What do you paint?"

Morgana chuckles with a shake of her head. "If we're still playing, you're out of questions for now."

"Right." He nods, gesturing for her to ask her question.

She decides on a light question this time, "What's your favorite sport?"

Merlin actually laughs at that, "Wouldn't know. I have very little time to enjoy the manly pleasures of this world."

"Manly pleasures?" Morgana laughs, "Not even water polo?" She asks teasingly.

Merlin shrugs, "Not a big fan, but I do enjoy a nice swim every now and then."

"Lucky you."

"What do you mean by that?" Merlin asks curiously.

Morgana blushes instantly, "I never learned how to swim."

He almost looked concerned. "Why not?"

"Is that your next question?" Morgana queries cheekily.

Merlin quickly shakes his head, "No... I suppose..." He trails off and looks at Morgana with a serious look. "Are you seeing Arthur Pendragon?"

Perhaps this game wasn't a very good idea. She looks at him, and for some reason she wanted to lie. But as he looks right at her, she knew he already knows the answer to that question. So she answers truthfully, "It's not serious or anything." She shrugs, looking away from his piercing gaze. "We're just... Talking." When she looks at him again, he's smiling, and she's not sure if that's a good thing or not.

He sighs heavily and then, he says something she never thought he would ever say to her in a million years. "I should probably apologize for the 2 dinner dates I had ruined for the both of you."

She gapes at him, then realizes exactly what he said. "Err, they weren't dates." She says quickly. "Not then at least." _God, why do I feel like an arsehole right now?_

Merlin shrugs, "Nonetheless, I ruined your plans with Arthur, and I apologize." He smiles.

"Oh... Errr, I suppose it's fine." This is by far, the weirdest conversation she's ever had with her boss.

"Your turn."

Morgana knows they have but a few minutes before landing, so she asks him what she's been dying to know since the incident had happened. "Why bees?"

He frowns, and she knows that he understands the question. He looks away from her again, this time he doesn't look at her again when he answers. "The day my parents died, I was in the car with them..." He trails off, and Morgana feels her heart sink. Somehow, she kind of already knows what he's about to tell her. And though she doesn't want him to tell her the whole story, feeling like it'll be too horrible for her to unhear, she doesn't stop him when he continues.

"My father was driving, my mother was beside him, and I was in the backseat, playing with the window." He pauses again and takes a deep breath. "My mother kept telling me to stop rolling my window down, but I didn't listen, still mad about something I can no longer remember... And so, a bee flew right through my window, and being the scared child I was, I had gotten out of my seat and grabbed for my father..." He opens his hands and stares at his palms. "I didn't want my father to know I had let a bee into the car because I wouldn't listen to my mother, so... I covered his eyes with my hands."

Morgana gasps softly, her hand covering her mouth as she stares at him. She really looks at him, and realizes exactly why he _is_ the way he is.

Merlin looks at her, and she sees unshed tears in his pained blue eyes. "I don't know how I was the only one to survive the car crash..." He shakes his head and looks at his open hands again. "But when I woke up from a coma, 3 weeks later, my uncle Gaius was the only one there. He thinks I don't remember what happened... But I do. I know why my parents died... And it's because I killed them."

She shakes her head, disagreeing silently with him as she tries to hold herself together. No kid should have to go through what he went through. She wants to tell him that it's not his fault, that he did nothing wrong, that he was just being a kid, but she knew that nothing anyone could say or do would change his mind. So she reaches over the space between them and takes his left hand in her right one, squeezing comfortingly.

He looks at her finally and he clears his throat. "And that's why I have a fear of bees." He mutters.

She continues to hold his hand for a few more minutes, neither wanting to let go. Suddenly, the pilot begins to announce that they're about to land, and they let go almost immediately.

They don't speak for the remainder of the flight, but there seems to be... _something_ between them now. An understanding on her part, and an unloading on his.

...

"Dear God, I thought I was going to die on that bloody jet." Gwen groans loudly as she plopped down on Morgana's hotel bed.

Morgana chuckles at her friend, "Lance can't be _that_ bad."

At that, Gwen gives her an exasperated look. "Not that bad? Morgana, the man was hitting on me the whole way here, he kept offering champagne to me, probably trying to get me drunk so he could have his way with me when I pass out on the plane or something! He's bloody bonkers!"

Morgana laughs at that, shaking her head as she opens her suitcase and tries to find something to wear to dinner tonight. Arthur would be getting there around 7, and had already made dinner plans at 8:30 for the both of them. "He just likes you."

Gwen snorts and rolls her eyes. "Well I don't like him back. You know as well as I do, that these rich bosses of ours are just arseholes for no bloody reason."

Morgana's hands still as her thoughts flit back to a certain blue eyed boss of hers. "They're not _that_ bad." She says a little too defensively.

Gwen gasps mockingly, "Do my ears deceive me, or did you just say that your boss is not that bad?"

It's Morgana's turn to roll her eyes, and she doesn't hold back. "Yes, Gwen. Merlin is... He's a little different now." She casts a side glance at her friend, seeing the olive skinned girl cock her head to the side.

"How so?" Gwen leans forward, obviously more interested in their current subject than their last one.

She shrugs to make it seem like it's not a big deal to her. _It's not, okay?!_ "He's just different." At Gwen's raised eyebrow, she huffs and continues. "He's a little more open... And he's nice sometimes."

It takes a few moments, but suddenly, Gwen was gasping out loud as she points an accusing finger at Morgana. "You fancy him!"

Morgana's eyes bulge out at that as she looks at her friend. "I do not!" She denies a little too quickly.

"Yes you do!" Gwen dissolves into a fit of giggles. "Oh this is just perfect."

"I do not fancy Merlin, Gwen." Morgana says sternly.

"You totally _do_ fancy him! You even say his name differently now. Wasn't it just a few weeks ago when you wouldn't stop groaning and moping about Sir-Jerks-a-Lot? Or Mr. Arsehole? Or-"

"Okay, I get it, I used to really hate the man, but now I sort of don't, ok?" She points a finger at Gwen, "it doesn't mean I fancy him."

Gwen snorts at that, and quickly covers her laugh with a cough. "Then what is it then?"

"It's a newfound respect for him."

"Is that what they're calling it these days?" Gwen dissolves into another fit of giggles as Morgana throws a pillow at her.

"Shut up." Morgana couldn't help but laugh, although she wonders just what exactly she feels for her boss. She settles on the word 'sympathy' because it's less frustrating than... the other word.

"Oh, just admit it, Morgana! And it's not like he's hard on the eyes. I mean, when you first laid eyes on him, did you not want to drag him into the nearest closet and shag the bloody hell out of him?" Gwen asks half seriously, then ducks as Morgana throws another pillow at her.

"Guinevere!"

...

Dinner with Arthur is like every other dinner they've had. Fun, refreshing, and just easy. It's like being with Gwen. Except Arthur doesn't quite sound or look like Gwen.

"I hope you had a nice evening." Arthur's voice breaks her from her thoughts, and she nods.

"I did, thank you."

"It's my pleasure." Arthur mock bows slightly and smiles at her.

She laughs, rolling her eyes as they continue their stroll back to the hotel.

When they reach her room, she bids him goodnight with a short kiss. She knows he was expecting to be invited inside, but she's just not ready to go that extra mile. She's not a prude or anything like that. She's just not sure if she should step over that line with Arthur just yet. They've only been dating for a few weeks, and they've shared a few kisses, but that was it.

Morgana wanted that spark. When she gets that spark with Arthur, then she'll be ready to take that next step with him. Until then, she'll be the bloody chastity queen.

...

On the first day of their 3 day weekend, breakfast had been served in the main dining hall of the resort, and all members of the Camelot and Pendragon Stock company were required to be there.

Merlin is the one who gets up and clinks his silverware against his champagne flute to get everyone's attention. Clearing his throat, he announces the commencement of their weekend, and wishes everyone a great time. Before he takes his seat, his blue eyes glide over the crowd before resting on long, dark hair and green eyes staring back at him. "I look forward to seeing you around." Merlin smiles, looking away and over the crowd again. "The Winter Ball will be the final event of this weekend, and I hope you all enjoy your stay here until we have to get back to work."

Gwen almost immediately leans over to whisper to Morgana, "Is it just me, or did Merlin's gorgeous blues rest on you when he said he's looking forward to seeing you around?"

"It's just you." Morgana retorts, but her cheeks flush as she chances a glance at her boss.

Gwen snorts, then elbows her gently in the side. "You've got 2 sexy blokes, vying for your attention. Better choose the right one."

Morgana groans.

"Is this seat taken?" An unfamiliar voice asks, and Morgana turns to find the girl from the celebratory gathering, smiling at her. The one who had slapped Merlin.

She shakes her head. "No, you can have it."

"Thanks." She takes a seat before turning to them with a wide smile. "I'm Freya. Pleased to meet you..."

"Gwen." The olive skinned girl smiles brightly at the other girl.

Freya nods, and turns her head expectantly to Morgana. "I'm Morgana. A pleasure to meet you as well."

"You're Merlin's assistant, correct?"

Morgana nods, "Yes I am."

"Is he still as rude as ever?"

She doesn't know why, but she suddenly felt the need to defend her blue-eyed boss, even though he _is_ probably the rudest person she's ever met. She stops herself at realizing that he's not hers to defend. "I'm sorry, how do you know Merlin again?" She asks instead.

Freya doesn't miss a single beat, "We were a thing a little while ago." She shrugs as if it meant nothing to her, but Morgana knew that slap she had witnessed the other night meant otherwise. If anything, Merlin was the one who seemed as if Freya meant nothing to him. "But I'm sure he's spoken of me before?"

Morgana quirks an eyebrow, "Not that I recall." _Honestly, who does this girl think she is?_

"Well I'm sure he's mentioned me to more important people." Freya shrugs, to which Morgana snorts.

Gwen elbows Morgana lightly in the hip and leans over, whispering, "Be nice."

Morgana rolls her eyes then turns to Freya with a fake smile. "If you'd excuse me, I need a drink." She marches away with Gwen following close behind her.

"What was that?" Gwen questions with a grin.

"What was what?"

"Where did Icy-Morgana come from?"

Morgana rolls her eyes, "Don't tell me you didn't detect that woman's arrogance before she even sat down beside us."

Gwen laughs knowingly, "Are you sure you weren't just intimidated by her closeness to Merlin?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Gwen." Morgana scoffs, "I just didn't like the way she spoke to me like I'm beneath her."

 _Really, it has nothing to do with Merlin!_ She groans at the look on her friends face. "Honestly, Gwen! Stop looking at me like that!" She whispers furiously, to which Gwen raises her hands in mock surrender.

"Alright, fine. But speaking of hot men, your boyfriend is headed this way." Gwen nods towards the direction in which Arthur is approaching.

"Ah!" Arthur says aloud as Morgana turns to smile at him. "I've been looking everywhere for you."

Morgana chuckles, "Here I am." She raises her hands as if she's been caught by the police.

Arthur glances over at Gwen, his eyes sparkling with interest as a smile forms on his lips. "Who's your friend?" He asks Morgana, though his eyes stay trained on Gwen's.

Morgana smiles, "Arthur, this is my friend Gwen." She introduces, watching in amusement as Gwen curtsy's, "Gwen, this is Arthur Pendragon."

"A pleasure." Arthur smiles widely, his eyes still lingering on Gwen's. He takes her hand and shakes it lightly before bowing.

"The pleasure is mine, Mr. Pendragon." Gwen giggles.

"Please, call me Arthur." The blonde man then turns his head to Morgana. "As I've told Morgana here."

After breakfast, they separate to their rooms to change into their winter attire so they can go out and enjoy the chilly winter day.

Morgana settles for a thick red sweater, her dark blue jeans, and her black winter boots. She takes her long, black winter coat, a red scarf that had once belonged to her mother, a winter cap, a pair of gloves, and earmuffs, knowing that it will eventually get colder as the evening pulls in.

She spends a good half of the day inside a sky gondola with Gwen and Arthur, admiring the view and taking pictures. By the time they get out of the gondola, it's already freezing cold. They decide to walk back through the snow, and Morgana decides it's a good time as any to put on the extra winter guards she brought with her.

Halfway through their trek through the snow, she spots Merlin across the frozen lake, holding his phone up over his head, obviously trying to find a signal. She guesses he hasn't got the memo yet. There is next to no service at the resort for the next couple of days because of the blizzard that would be rolling by in a few hours. She laughs as she watches him wave his phone around.

"What's so funny?" Arthur asks curiously, following her line of vision with his brown eyes. His lips form a frown when he sees who she's laughing at.

"He doesn't know yet." Gwen chuckles, "poor bloke."

Arthur rolls his eyes and looks out over the frozen lake. "Let's do something fun before we have to get back and surely be stuck inside because of the bloody blizzard headed our way."

"Like what? The ski resort is locking up equipment as we speak." Morgana inputs.

Arthur looks around and sees a flat surfaced rock. He wordlessly walks over to the rock and picks it up, chucking it over the frozen lake. They watch in silence as the rock slides across the frozen lake, and bouncing off the end to land right by Merlin's boot.

Merlin looks up, his eyes scanning for the culprit and finds green eyes looking back at him with a smile on her face. His stomach flips and he's about to smile back, but then he sees the man beside her. He looks down at the rock and then bends down to pick it up before throwing it behind him. He turns back to his phone, grinning widely when he spots a single bar on his phone. "Bloody finally." He laughs then dials a familiar number and holding his phone to his ear.

Just as the person on the other end of the line picks up, a flash of red catches his eye and he turns, seeing Morgana running after her scarf as it gets carried away by the wind. He's no expert on ice or anything, but he's pretty sure the lake is not frozen enough to withstand anything over 50 pounds. Not even the thin Morgana, who practically takes off onto the frozen lake in pursuit of her scarf. He watches as if in slow motion as she slides to a stop, managing to grab her scarf right before the ice breaks beneath her feet and she's submerged in icy cold water.

At that point, Merlin's whole body goes numb with a fear he's never felt before. A fear for the life of his assistant. He doesn't know what came over him as he drops his phone and takes off around the lake, his eyes not leaving the broken ice, chanting under his breath. "Come up, Morgana." Not a moment later, Morgana's head breaks through the surface of the water, gasping for air and it's like he's gasping along with her.

From his peripherals, he makes out Gwen calling hysterically for help as Arthur tries to cautiously get to where Morgana, who is currently flailing around. Something clicks in Merlin's mind as he recalls her telling him that she never learned to swim. It gives him an extra boost of energy as he nears her current location. Without thinking, he sprints towards the ice, bending his legs backward so he's on his knees when he hits the ice, sliding at high speed directly towards Morgana, who has sunk into the water again.

He reaches the broken ice just as Morgana's hand breaks through the water once more, and he grabs her hand, hauling her up and out of the water in one swift movement.

There's coughing and spluttering and shivering as Morgana collapses onto his chest, and his chest aches in a painful way that has nothing to do with her weight on him. Green eyes look up to meet his, and there's a gasp of surprise.

"You're a bloody idiot, you know that?" He scolds as his heart rate begins to come back down to normal.

Morgana couldn't help the smile that forms on her face as she pulls her left hand up and holds the scarf in front of his face. "It was my mothers."

Merlin nods, "I admire your bravery, but no amount of cotton, polyester, or whatever the bloody hell that scarf is made of, is worth your life."

Morgana couldn't help but stare into his blue eyes. She's vaguely aware of their closeness, and the fact that she's getting all his clothes wet. But she doesn't care. Right now, she's drowning again in a pool of blue eyes, and she doesn't entirely mind. Her head suddenly grows heavy and she lets it lower a bit, but Arthur's voice breaks through the silence. Merlin sits up just as Arthur makes it to them.

"Morgana! Are you alright?" The concern in Arthur's voice is thick and she smiles at him as he helps her up. Merlin gets up wordlessly after her.

"I'm fine, thank you Arthur. Freezing cold and soaked to the bone, but otherwise, I'm ok."

Arthur nods, letting out a relieved sigh. "We should probably get off the ice before the whole bloody thing breaks." He gives Merlin a nod and begins to pull Morgana away.

She glances back at the blue eyed man, her eyes holding every bit of gratefulness she feels towards him for saving her life.

He nods at her, letting her know that she's welcome.

And so, the scolding from Gwen begins.

...

A/N: I'm not sure I liked the way I wrote this chapter. It was kind of rushed and I'm not sure I captured it the way I wanted it to be. But whatevers. I'll make the rest fit to it. Thank you again, and please review!

-McDiggin'It


	6. Chapter 6

Title: The Wrong Emotion

A/N:

Chapter Six:

Morgana shivers as she tries to sink farther into her sheets. After the whole drowning incident yesterday, she went back to her room and took a hot bath. It was refreshing, until she got out of the bathtub and started sneezing hurricanes. Gwen and Arthur had both voiced their concerns about her health. She had of course, assured them that she was fine. Well, she's eating those words for breakfast now as she groans. Her whole body aches, and she wouldn't stop sneezing and coughing every bloody 2 minutes.

There's a loud knock on the door and Morgana groans loudly as she drags her body out of bed and towards the insistent knocking. "I'm coming!" She shrieks, noticing the change in her voice. _God, I'm sick! No!_ She pulls the door open to find Gwen on the other side.

The olive skinned girl gasps and pushes her way past the door.

"Please come in." Morgana says sarcastically to the empty doorway. She closes the door and turns to find Gwen glaring at her. "Don't say it." Morgana says sternly. As stern as she can manage with her squeaky sick voice.

"I told you so." Gwen says anyway. Morgana rolls her eyes as she goes back to bed and tries to become one with its warmth. "Morgana, I told you we had to go to the hospital just to be sure you don't catch pneumonia or something."

"It's a cold, Gwen. It happens, and it has, so please just drop it."

Gwen huffs as she plops down beside her friend. "Well what am I gonna tell your hero now?" At Morgana's questioning look she continues, "Merlin flagged me down at breakfast this morning and asked how you were doing. I told him I'd let him know after I check on you."

Morgana's stomach flutters as she snuggles into her sheets and let's out a cough. "Tell him I'm fine."

"But you're not." Gwen deadpans.

"Well then tell him whatever you want, Gwen. I'm really fine though. A little achy, but completely fine."

"That's what you said last night, and now you look like roadkill."

Morgana glares, "Thanks."

"I meant that in the best possible way."

Morgana smiles at her friend, "I know."

"Do you need me to stay with you for a while?"

Morgana shakes her head, "Thanks, but no. I'll be fine as soon as I get my sleep."

"Fine." Gwen huffs as she goes to the mini fridge at the corner of the room and pulls out 6 bottles of water. She leaves them on Morgana's bedside and makes the girl promise to stay hydrated, "I'll be checking in every now and then, and I suggest you dial up room service. You need to eat something."

Morgana nods and points to the nightstand, "Take my keycard with you because I'm not getting back out of this bed for the next 12 hours if I can help it."

Gwen does so, promising to tell Arthur of her condition so she wouldn't have to explain. "And drink your water!"

After Gwen leaves, Morgana loses consciousness almost immediately. She fades in and out of sleep, only sitting up to drink her water before falling asleep again.

The sun is low when she wakes up again, stretching her arms up over her head and yawning. When she opens her eyes, she has to blink several times before fully comprehending what she's looking at.

Hundreds of red roses filled her room, and she's sure it would've filled her smelling senses had she been able to smell anything. Everything with a flat surface had a vase filled with red roses. Morgana springs up in bed, cursing loudly when the act makes her dizzy.

She looks around, eyes wide and mouth hanging open as she takes in the beauty. The only place that had no roses, was the nightstand by her bed, and a chair at her bedside. A single card and a takeout cup of what she assumes is soup stood facing her from the nightstand. Her cheeks flush as she takes the card and opens it. Almost instantly, tears fill her eyes as she reads.

 _I know it's not the same as when your mother does it, but I thought it'd make you feel better. I need you healthy and strong on Monday to sharpen my pencils and take out my trash. Eat your soup before it gets cold. That's an order._

 _-Merlin_

She laughs, brushing the barely formed tears from her eyes as she closes the card and looks around at her room again. A large smile widens on her chapped lips and she licks them. When she told him her mom filled her room with red roses whenever she got sick, she was exaggerating a bit. Her mother only put a dozen roses in a vase and left it by her bedside. Merlin filled the _entire_ room with roses! "Bloody idiot." She chuckles under breath.

Suddenly, the doorknob clicks and Gwen comes bustling in with Arthur behind her. There's a gasp from Gwen, followed by another from Arthur as they take in the sight of her rose-filled room.

"Well," Arthur says, dejectedly looking down at the small bouquet of peonies in his hand. "It seems that someone has already beaten me to the punch." Arthur looks at all the roses again and raises his eyebrows at Morgana. "Beaten my flowers to a bloody pulp." Morgana laughs as the 2 cross the room, Gwen taking a seat by Morgana's legs on the bed, and Arthur taking the empty chair beside the bed.

"Merlin sent them." She coughs, realizing how that must sound to Arthur.

"Merlin?" Arthur asks suspiciously. "Your boss, Merlin? The one who torments you everyday?"

Morgana resists the urge to roll her eyes, "Yes, the Merlin who also saved me from drowning yesterday." She says a little too defensively in reply to Arthur's question.

He frowns and looks at the bouquet in his hands. "These are for you." he hands her the flowers.

She smiles gratefully at him. "Thank you." She sniffs them, though she can't smell a thing through her stuffed nose. Gwen gets up then and offers to take Arthur's peonies and find something to put them in.

"Well this is really nice of him." Gwen smiles when she comes back, holding a large cup with Arthur's flowers inside, smiling as she sets it down by the table on the other side of the room and looks around once more. "I didn't know Merlin had a heart."

Morgana nods in agreement. "Well, it seems he may have grown one overnight. And if you guys don't mind, I'm about to eat this soup before it gets cold." Her stomach growls loudly and she blushes as Arthur and Gwen laugh in unison.

"Right. We'll leave you to it. Do you need anything else before we leave?" Gwen asks in an almost motherly fashion. Morgana looks around the room, smiling at the roses.

"No, thank you. I already feel so much better now."

"Great. Because we can't have you sick at the Winter Ball tomorrow."

She groans loudly as the 2 leave the room.

...

By morning the next day, Morgana was already feeling loads better than yesterday. One thing about her, she hardly gets sick, and when she does, she recovers rather quickly. For once she's thankful for that feat. It was a pain when she was in school and would try to get out of going to school by claiming sickness. Her mother would make her go as soon as the sickness was gone.

She smiles at the roses that still filled her room. Merlin has truly outdone himself. Not that there was much to outdo. He was a major arseholes before. Now, it seems he's slowly turning human. There's a knock and then the door is opening to reveal Gwen in jeans and a dark blue blouse. "You're awake!"

Morgana smiles, sitting up and nodding. "That I am."

"I checked on you a few times last night before I deemed it safe to leave you alone."

Morgana vaguely remembers waking up to the sound of her door opening, but she was too tired to check if it was Gwen or the housekeeping staff of the hotel. "Thank you."

"It's not a problem." Gwen shrugs, "now get your sexy arse up and get ready. We've got a busy day ahead of us."

Morgana grins as she slips out of bed, heading for her suitcase by the bathroom door. "Give me 20 minutes." She calls over her shoulder.

She spends the day with Gwen, getting little souvenirs at the gift shops by the lobby, and enjoying the day. Not many people were out since the blizzard was still upon them, but luckily there were little fun things to do indoors. Like the skating rink, the bowling alley, and little shoppette's that littered the inside of the grand hotel where they could buy cute little stuffed animals and other equally cute little things.

It's when they reach the end of the first floor that Morgana spots a frozen blue fountain and smiles, remembering eyes with that very same shade of blue. She blushes, silently scolding herself for thinking of eyes that belong to a man who wasn't her boyfriend. Her sweet, clueless boyfriend who is probably still sleeping at the moment. But she can't help herself. No matter how much she tries to hate him, he's proven to be less hateful by the hour.

"What's wrong?" Gwen questions worriedly. "You don't look so well. Do you need to sit?"

Morgana nods, letting her friend pull her towards a bench that faced directly towards the frozen blue fountain. She groans, "Maybe I should go back to my room." But then she remembers the roses that still filled her room. She groans again as Gwen nods and begins to gather their shopping bags together so they can begin their walk back to the elevators.

Morgana calls for housekeeping to have the roses removed from her room. Now that she's gained back her smelling sense, the roses were practically taunting her, tempting her to think of their sender. She can't afford to think of someone she's not remotely supposed to think of as anything other than her boss.

...

The Winter Ball is upon them, and Morgana isn't entirely sure her dress is appropriate. It's one thing to be a little daring, and a whole other thing to look like she just walked out of a 50% off sale at Tramps 'R Us.

Her dress is a scarlet red that swoops up right above the knees, so tight, it felt like a second skin, with a neckline that was a tad too low and several tads too tight around her breasts. Her boobs are practically suffocating together, nearly popping out of their places. But Gwen says she's exaggerating and that she looks lovely. She looks at the 3 inch pair of strappy red heels she's wearing, and her pale exposed legs. This is _really_ not something one would wear to a Winter Ball. Especially when said one has just recently recovered from a cold.

"Are you _sure_ this is fine?" The green-eyed girl asks her friend.

Gwen snorts as she looks her up and down. "Of course! I can imagine the male population of Camelot and Pendragon Stocks company won't be able to take their eyes off of you."

Morgana groans, "But I don't want that kind of attention."

"And what kind of attention do you want?" Gwen raises a curious brow.

"None." Morgana sighs, running her fingers through her long dark curls in frustration and looks at her friend seriously. "Gwen, I look like a hooker!"

At that, the olive skinned girl rolls her eyes, "No you don't. You look beautiful! Sexy and mysterious! And it's not like you can wear jeans and a sweatshirt to the ball. We both only brought one dress... Although your boyfriend probably won't care what you wear." Gwen waves a hand dismissively.

Morgana sighs. She feels like a horrible girlfriend. Not once did she think of Arthur and his sweet behavior, or his charming antics, or his cheerful brown eyes, or his warm kisses. Probably because her mind has been consumed with thoughts of a man who confuses the living hell out of her, with his weird hot and cold behavior, insulting attitude, strikingly bold blue eyes, and kissable lips. _What?!_ "Aarghh!" She forcefully grabs her wrap from her suitcase and turns to her friend. She needs a drink ASAP before she loses her damned mind. "Let's go."

When they arrive at the scene of the ball, it seems like all eyes turn to stare at them. Morgana looks over at her friend and smiles. Gwen looked extremely beautiful in her white gown that seemed almost as scandalous as hers, except Gwen's showed less skin and less frustrations. "Have I told you you looked beautiful?" Morgana asks as they head towards the bar.

Gwen raises an eyebrow at Morgana. "Why, I had no idea you saw me in such a way, Morgana." She giggles teasingly to which Morgana laughs.

"Shut up. I just forgot to compliment you earlier because I was too worried about my attire."

"Well thank you." Gwen grins as they arrive, both taking a seat. "I think we both look like princesses."

"Indeed." Arthur cuts in, slipping in beside Morgana and giving her a quick peck on the cheek before turning to do the same to Gwen. "You both look stunning tonight." He says, eyeing them both, and then lingering on Gwen's gown. "Very stunning indeed."

The girls laugh, enjoying the company of the blonde man, unbeknownst to the 3, a pair of blue eyes followed every movement of the girl in red.

Merlin doesn't know exactly what's happening to him. At first he thought he was having a stroke, but then he was still standing, mid conversation with a man he barely knew. So maybe he's just experiencing semi-paralysis... in his brain. The moment the doors opened 10 minutes ago and Morgana walked in beside the other girl from the office, he thinks her name is Gwen, Merlin's jaw practically dislodged itself from his face and plummeted to the floor while his eyes nearly popped out of their sockets.

His mouth was dry as he had stared at his assistant. She was dressed in what looked like a piece of red cloth from where he was standing, her hair spilling down her back in a curtain of dark curls, her eyes shining like emerald gems, her face the picture of perfection, her lips a shade of red that he's sure is called 'sin', and her breasts, the.. _. I really should not look or even think of her breasts... Or anything else of hers._ Merlin forced his eyes north of her chest because it would surely cause things that are south of him to stir. He immediately looked around at all the eyes that followed her every move, including the man who was talking to him. Jim or something. He felt a burning desire to fire every male from his company in the bloody room _just_ for looking at his assistant with lust, but then he looked at her again and realized he doesn't exactly blame them.

He doesn't know what he's feeling as he stares at her. And he's firstly angry at her for making him feel these things. Then there's lust, want, need, aching in his loins. He wants her, and yet he can't have her. Because of that obnoxious, lazy, blonde pretty boy who is now talking to her.

Merlin's chest aches, and his throat burns as he forces himself to look away. He cannot, _will not_ be tempted into doing something he doesn't know entirely if he wants to do. "She's pretty." A familiar voice interrupts his thoughts, and Merlin is almost grateful for the distraction.

He turns to her, knowing who she's referring to but refusing to let on that he knows. "Who?" He asks nonchalantly.

"Your assistant." Freya says with a raised eyebrow.

Merlin laughs bitterly, "Trying to sleep with her too?"

"She's not my type." Freya scoffs. "And not yours either."

Merlin rolls his eyes at that, "And I suppose you know what my type is?"

" _I'm_ your type, Merlin." Freya says simply. "You and I both know we're endgame."

Merlin wanted to laugh, "Freya, I know we had a... thing. Once. But that thing ended the day you left."

"I left because you didn't even care about me."

"And I still don't." Merlin says coldly. "And I never will."

"Why are you so cold and closed off?" Freya asks quietly as tears spring to her eyes.

Merlin looks away. It's true he doesn't care much for her. It doesn't mean he's a monster. But he knows they'll never amount to anything, simply because he doesn't feel anything that resembles love towards her. If he had felt any signs of love towards her, he would've tried with her. But he didn't want to drag her or anyone else into something he knows will eventually end badly. "Because I feel nothing." He walks away, towards the door, hoping to find some fresh air and solitude. When he reaches the door, he pauses, glancing in the direction of the bar.

His emotions... He lost those the day his parents died.

And as he looks across the room at the girl in red, his assistant, he _feels_ those emotions coming back. And he doesn't know if he can handle that just yet.

...

A/N: Dun Dun Duuuuuuunnnn! Haha, I think I'm getting back on track here. I know it's not the best chapter (because there were no direct Mergana moments) but I wanted the attraction to really flow in this chapter so their next contact will be pure Mergana feels. I'll try to make the next chapter really good, although I can't promise it will be entirely fluffy. But stay tuned! Also, I'll be posting another Mergana fic soon, so keep a lookout for that as well. It's a smutty romance/humor fic! But anyway, I hope you liked this chapter. Thank you to all the reviewers for the last chapter. I just love you guys so much. Like really! Thanks and leave a review please!

-McDiggin'It


	7. Chapter 7

Title: The Wrong Emotion

Chapter Seven:

The night is still young, and Morgana is already exhausted. Her feet are killing her, and her dress is definitely not helping her breathe. The ball is now in full swing, and she really needs some fresh air. About 7 blokes she vaguely remembers seeing at the office had asked her to dance, or offered to buy her a drink. All of which she declined politely, not wanting to be absolutely pissed before the night is over, and not even having the energy or patience to dance with some clumsy and probably handsy idiot.

She had danced to 2 songs with Arthur, and she had felt absolutely horrible because her traitorous eyes wouldn't stop searching the room for a certain dark haired, blue eyed man. It's not like she was absolutely bending over backwards to find him. She just felt like it was the appropriate thing to do to thank him properly for saving her life earlier in the weekend.

By the time she and Arthur were done dancing, she just wanted to go outside and get some fresh air. And that's exactly what she does after telling Arthur that he should go dance with Gwen.

Gwen had widened her eyes comically at Morgana, her gaze toning down to warning. "You do realize that I've danced with pretty much half the men in this room, 6 of which are the result of your rejection, right?"

Morgana smiles widely, not even feeling apologetic. She knows Gwen finds Arthur attractive, and from Arthur's lingering gazes on Gwen's chest, she knows he finds her attractive as well. She really doesn't mind if they share a dance or two. She does feel guilty for practically pushing Arthur away. She doesn't know what's wrong with her lately. It's like there was nothing interesting outside of... Well, outside of her boss. She bites her lip hard, feeling ashamed of herself.

I really need some fresh air. She pushes Arthur and Gwen onto the dance floor and then leaves abruptly in search for an open window with an endless supply of fresh air.

The halls are nearly empty, save for a few hotel staff members leaving to probably head home. She admires the glow of the dancing lights on the walls, dancing across the hallway. She sighs, spotting a door to the left of the hallway that surely leads to a terrace outside.

She approaches it, pulling the door open and sighing heavily as she steps outside, not bothering to look around. It's the sound of someone coughing that causes her to turn around in surprise.

"My apologies." Merlin chuckles.

Morgana sighs heavily, laying a hand over her chest, her heart rate speeding up quite quickly. "You nearly scared me to death."

Merlin grins, turning his whole body to face her. His eyes rake over her body for a moment before he looks into her eyes. "Trying to find the bathroom again?" He questions teasingly to which Morgana laughs with a roll of her eyes.

"No... Actually I was trying to find some fresh air."

Merlin raises a question brow at that, "Is your boyfriend suffocating you? Or is it the hungry looks of pretty much every attendee in the Ballroom?"

She's not sure if that was a compliment or an insult, but she thinks it must be the latter. "I just wasn't feeling well..." She trails off then adds quickly, "And Arthur is not suffocating in the least. He's a wonderful person, and quite the gentleman, which is more than I can say for you."

Merlin scoffs, "He can barely keep up with the company. I'm surprised his father hasn't disowned him yet." He turns his face away then and laughs, "although, Uther _did_ raise him, so I suppose the saying 'like father like son' must prove to be somewhat true."

Morgana glares at him. Arthur is a kind, sweet, and charming man. He may be childish at times, but he's done more for her than any other man she knows. "You have no right to say that about Arthur!" She snaps, "He doesn't want to run his fathers company, and doesn't need his fathers money to live a happy life. A trait that clearly you don't possess, seeing as how your whole life revolves around your job and your money."

Merlin takes a step towards her, his eyes turning dark as he takes another one, and another one until they're suddenly too close. "You don't know anything about me, Morgana."

"I know that you hide behind your pathetic fear of affections!" Morgana deadpans angrily. "You would rather be alone than to let anyone love or care for you because you're too scared of another person leaving you! Well guess what, Mr. Emrys? That's life! You love and you lose! And you're too much of a coward to even try becau-" she has to swallow the rest of her rant because at that moment, Merlin's lips are on hers. Her whole body practically ignites like fire and gasoline, and her mind goes blank. The only thing she feels, is his soft lips against hers, his left hand gripping her hip, radiating warmth through the thin fabric of her dress, and his right one buried in her dark curls. Nothing else existed beyond that point, and she groans as the fire continues down her body to burn steadily below her stomach.

His tongue eventually brushes against her lips, demanding entrance which she grants a little too quickly. Her hands move of their own accord, slipping up his shoulders, his neck, and into his dark unruly hair. It feels like pure velvet, soft and feathery to her touch. She's always wondered what his hair felt like. She opens her lips, sucking his bottom lip into her mouth and biting down gently. There's another groan, which she realizes isn't her own, and that's when she actually processes what's happening and the whole thing comes crashing down on her as she forcefully pushes Merlin away.

She's panting, eyes wide, heart beating wildly in her chest. "What- are you- what the hell was _that_?" She pants heavily as she wipes her mouth. _What the hell am I doing?! I'm with Arthur!_

Merlin stares at her, and Morgana has to force herself to look into his eyes because his lips were practically taunting her, tempting her to stare at the red teeth marks on his lower lip. _Her_ teeth marks. "I believe it's called a kiss." Merlin says sarcastically, raising his eyebrows amusedly.

"How dare you?" She demands angrily, stomping her foot petulantly because he's proven to be one step ahead of her.

"How dare I what? Show affections?" Merlin doesn't bat an eyelash as he smirks. "Don't act like you didn't enjoy it, Morgana."

She ignores that last part because she can't very well deny it without sounding like a whining child. "You call that affection?" She scoffs, "I've seen cows and goats show more affection than that!" She pauses, then inwardly curses, realizing how that must sound. Like she's demanding more affections from him.

Merlin takes a step towards her again, and Morgana is forced to take a step back. He narrows his eyes at her and takes another step, and another as Morgana continues to retreat until her back is against the wall. Merlin leans forward as if he's about to kiss her, but he stops, his lips a single inch away from hers. He looks up into her eyes, his blue eyes practically staring right into her soul.

"You think I have no affections?" His voice is soft, almost whispering, and she can smell his aftershave now that she's actually able to try. Not that she tried to smell him before. His eyes narrow further with what Morgana realizes is pain. He grabs her hand, turning her palm towards him and pressing it against his chest over his heart. "Do you feel how fast my heart is beating right now?"

Morgana gasps, not entirely expecting to feel anything at all, but instead feeling every rapid beat of his very real heart. She doesn't answer, only staring at him with wide eyes.

Merlin continues pressing her palm against his chest as his other hand goes to rest beside her head on the wall behind her. "It only beats like that when I'm near you... Whenever you're close by, it hurts. It hurts because I feel so much of something I haven't felt since the day my parents left me. I-" he looks away, staring off into the distance. "You have no idea what you do to me, Morgana." When he looks back at her, she nearly gasps at the look of pure pain on his face, his blue eyes glazed over with tears. She convinces herself that it's just the biting wind. He lets go of her hand, letting his own drop down to his side. "You have no idea what I feel, and what I've been through." He whispers, then pulls away completely.

He doesn't look back as he leaves her alone on the terrace. As soon as he passes the door, Morgana's knees give out and she slides down the wall until she's sitting on the floor. Her hands are shaking and her eyes quickly filling with tears. She's never felt so alone in her whole life.

...

The weekend ends and they have to go back. She rides back with Gwen and Arthur on his fathers private jet. She's quiet the whole way back, only speaking when Arthur or Gwen asks her a question. She wants to sleep but thoughts of Merlin invade her mind, and sleep only brings about dreams of him.

She hates him for doing this to her and making her feel this way.

She hates that she can't just be happy with Arthur. She hates that she's not jealous over the longing looks that Arthur so obviously gives Gwen. But she can't bring herself to end things with Arthur. After Merlin left the terrace, she knew for certain that she didn't want to be alone. She hates that she's become a selfish coward. She especially hates that she has to see Merlin the next day at work. She's not sure she's ready for that just yet.

The next day, Merlin doesn't show up to work. And the next, and the next, and the next, and suddenly the week is over.

"Morgana?" 

She looks up to see Lance waving at her. She politely smiles back. "Hey, Lance."

"Hi. So, I'm sure you've noticed Merlin's absence this whole week." He waits for her to indicate that she's noticed before continuing. "I need you to go to his private home and make sure he's still alive. He hasn't answered anyone's calls and won't even open the front gate to his house."

Morgana shakes her head, "And what makes you think he'll open the gates to his home for me?"

Lance shrugs, "I don't. You're the only person who hasn't tried, and if all else fails, we'll have to file a missing person's report."

She doesn't think he's kidding. Sighing heavily, she agrees. She doesn't have much of a choice anyway.

...

When she shows up to the front gate of Merlin's house, she finds it locked. He usually leaves it open. Biting her lip, she drives up to the gate intercom and presses her thumb against the button. "Hello?" She asks tentatively. There's no answer, so she tries again. After the third try, she decides to just go back to the office and tell Lance that Merlin was not answering, but then the gates open automatically.

She stares open mouthed at the metal gates for a moment before driving through and towards the private home of the very man who's been invading her thoughts for the past week.

Her hands are clammy as she reaches the front door and rings the doorbell. Almost immediately, the door swings open, revealing, not Merlin, but an elderly man with shaggy grey hair, and spectacles placed low on the bridge of his nose. "You must be Morgana." He says animatedly. "Come." He beckons her inside and moves away to let her through.

Once inside, the elderly man closes the door and smiles at her. "I'm Gaius. Merlin's uncle.

 _Of course! Merlin mentioned his uncle before._ Morgana smiles, "It's a pleasure to finally meet you." She looks around the place and then back at Merlin's uncle with a curious look. "Were you expecting me?"

"Yes, that man, Lancelog or whatever called earlier and left a message saying he would be sending Merlin's assistant over."

"Of course." Morgana nods.

Gaius then gives her an odd look. "Merlin's told you about me before?"

At Morgana's second nod, Gaius looks surprised. "Oh dear," he mutters in thought. "This is worse than I feared. He usually doesn't mention me to people he knows."

Morgana isn't sure what he's talking about, so she cuts across with the reason why she's here. "Where's Merlin?"

Gaius frowns and heads towards the living room. Morgana follows him, and takes a seat on the couch at Gaius' insistence. The place looks exactly the same as the last time she was there. Although, there was no Gaius there that day.

"Mr. Gaius, where is Merlin?" Morgana asks again.

"Just call me Gaius, dear."

Morgana nods, "Gaius, where's Merlin?" She asks a third time.

Gaius sighs and takes a seat on the armchair. "He's not here."

"Not here?" Morgana asks confusedly. "Is he outside or something?"

Gaius snorts, "If by outside, you mean outside of London, then yes. Merlin is certainly outside."

Morgana stares at the odd old man. "What do you mean he's outside of London?"

"He's with his parents."

Morgana is shocked beyond words, and anger begins to bubble up inside her. _He lied to me about his parents death? Who does that?!_

"Dear," Gaius interrupts her thoughts, "I can practically hear the thoughts in your head colliding with each other. Let me rephrase that." He waves dismissively. "Merlin is in Ireland, visiting his parents' graves."

"Oh." She feels horrible now, and ashamed at her lack of sensitivity towards Merlin's honesty. "Ok, when will he be getting back?" She queries.

"I believe he should be back today or tomorrow... Said he needed some time off work for a few days to clear his thoughts." Gaius rubs his chin, "It's rather odd behavior from him."

"Why is it odd for him to want to visit his parents?" Morgana asks incredulously.

"Oh, well he's never actually visited his parents graves before. He's had some issues with visiting their graves. He doesn't remember much of what really happened."

Morgana purses her lips and looks at the elderly man quizzically. "I know I'm in no place to ask anything, but I wonder, how much does Merlin actually know about his parents' death?"

Gaius waves a hand, "Almost nothing. He thinks he killed his parents." Gaius sighs heavily and shakes his head. "Bloody idiot blames himself for things he could never control. But the brakes on his parents' car were loose, the roads weren't the best conditions for driving, and his allergic reaction to bee stings caused him to go into cardiac arrest and eventually put him in a coma for 3 weeks."

Morgana gasps, "He's allergic to bee stings?" He hadn't told her about that.

Gaius nods, "he wears a chain around his neck with a plate that lists his medical information."

Morgana remembers seeing the chain once and nods.

"It's basically deadly to him, the bee sting," Gaius continues, "One sting could put him in a coma like it did that fateful day... Any more bee stings and it would've killed him." There's sadness in his voice, "When he woke up from his coma, his mind had conjured up things that never happened."

"Like what?" She doesn't know why, but she just had to know exactly what was going on in Merlin's head. She wants to understand him because it's pretty clear that no one will ever understand the man and his odd, bipolar behavior. She bites her lip, momentarily wondering if she's maybe pushing too much with information on Merlin, but Gaius doesn't seem to mind as he puts on a thinking face.

"Well, for one, he woke up and immediately asked why he's still alive. It's not a particularly odd question from someone who had recently been in a car accident, but Merlin was 5 at the time." He sniffs, waving a hand dismissively, "I simply put that thought down to Merlin being too smart for his age."

Morgana stays silent, but she wonders just how smart Merlin was.

"And when I explained what happened to him, he said I was wrong, and then told me a story that in no way matched up to what really happened?"

"What happened?" Morgana asks slowly, cautiously, knowing that this isn't exactly her business to know.

Again, Gaius doesn't mind telling her and continues, "When I was called to the hospital, the Doctors and private investigators told me that they found the car flipped over on the side of the road, and Balinor, Merlin's father was already dead, having lost quite a lot of blood. His mother however was still alive, as was Merlin, who had not a single scratch on him because he had been in his mothers protective arms." He pauses and tries to call forth the memory of what had happened, then continues, "His mother was rushed to the emergency room, but the operation was too late and she was later pronounced dead that same day." Gaius takes a shaky breath and looks at his hands then shaking his head, "The whole bloody accident happened because Merlin was stung by a bee, and he went into anaphylactic shock. I'm not saying it was his fault. The circumstances were just there, and with his mothers panic, his fathers fear of losing his only son, and the horrible conditions of the road, and the blasted loose breaks on their car, it caused a young couple to lose their lives, and a little boy to lose his parents."

Morgana's eyes stung with tears for the young boy. She looks up at the wall at the family portrait hung on there. The adorable little Merlin looked so much like his father, although he had his mothers high and sharp cheekbones. She looks away and back to the elderly man, "Why does he blame himself? At his age, he shouldn't have been able to really process the full effects of the accident."

Gaius chuckles, "Merlin was not your average little boy. He started speaking full sentences at the early stages of his young age of one... He was the smartest in his class, he had teachers praising his abnormally large brain, and his parents never had time to be there to see any of that. So Merlin was forced to celebrate at home, alone with his nannies and housemaids. And he stopped trying to invite his parents to his school recitals, plays, award ceremonies, or anything really." Gaius shakes his head, "You must understand, his parents wanted to be there, but at the time, the family company was going bankrupt, their stocks dropping at phenomenal rates, and they simply could not leave their work. They wanted to make sure that Merlin was set for life, but of course, 4 year old Merlin did not understand that... It seemed," he pauses and looks up at the portrait on the wall, "Merlin grew up too quickly after the death of his parents."

Morgana nods, thinking of the blue eyed man she had accused of not having emotions. He had been through so much at such a young age and was practically forced to grow up. It's no wonder he's so cold towards everything. He's had no fun in his early life, and it seems, in his adult life as well. "How does one so young, endure all of that?" She remembers spending nearly every second of her childhood life with her mother, and even her father whenever he came home from work. She thought she had little while Merlin had everything. Now it's obvious she had the world and Merlin had nothing.

Gaius shrugs, "Even _I_ don't know how Merlin does it. But I suppose, he chose a good path and became obsessed with building his parents company instead of squandering his inheritance on drugs and alcohol."

Morgana nods in agreement. If it had been her, she probably would've ran away and became a drug dealer or something equally disturbing for the remainder of her sad existence. And now, she realizes, she's not even close to being alone. She had Gwen, Arthur, and her older sister Morgause who calls every now and then from her home in America. Merlin just had his uncle and no one else.

"I can't imagine going through that." Morgana mumbles softly.

Gaius nods, "He's broken, Morgana." He says softly and looks at her sadly. "I've tried so many times to get him to open up, go out, travel, see the world, have fun, but Merlin would have none of it. He stayed home, studied, and worked on building up his parent's company." He sighs heavily, his old age evident in his eyes. "And I thought _I_ was the old one."

Morgana is still silent, still thinking about the blue eyed man she knew so little about. Every time she thinks she's about to figure him out, he throws her a curveball and she's back at square one, not knowing a damned thing about him. And it frustrates her even more because she's not supposed to care so much, but she does. She can't help the way she wonders why he's so cold and distant. So cut off from the rest of the world as if he's not really there. Like he's broken.

Again, the old man interrupts her thoughts, "He's spoken of you once."

Morgana looks up at him in surprise. "He has?"

Gaius nods, "He mentioned that he can't quite figure you out."

Morgana frowns, "Was this before or after the holiday weekend in France?"

Gaius snorts, rolling his eyes. "He told me when he first hired you."

Morgana's eyebrows furrow at that. When she had first started working for Merlin, he had completely ignored her, save for when he needed something done. How did he expect to figure someone out if he ignored them? Shrugging it off as one of the many mysteries about him, she sighs and looks down at her hands.

"I was wrong about him." She admits to the old man. She knows that he could tell Merlin what she's about to say, but she finds that she doesn't mind. "I thought him to be incapable of feeling anything, but I've been completely missing the point." She looks back at the old man and he has a knowing look on his face. "He feels _too_ much, and that's why he hides all his emotions, his pain." She's never felt so much guilt before. Guilt for judging Merlin.

...

Her weekend passes uneventfully, the only thing that was not boring was her dinners with Arthur and Gwen. They've been hanging out a lot more often now. Before Monday rolls around, she makes the decision to try and make amends with Merlin. As she's standing in the elevator at work, waiting for it to reach her office floor, she worries that he might still be angry about what she had said to him on the night of the Winter Ball.

When the doors slide away, her eyes turn towards Merlin's office door. It's propped open, and she heaves a sigh of relief. He's here, which is good because she's really of no use at work without him. _I'm his assistant!_ And his door is propped open, so he's not mad at her or ignoring her. This is good. It's a start.

She walks to her desk, depositing her bag on it before taking a seat. She breathes in deeply, and releases slowly trying to muster up the courage to go and talk to him.

She finds almost immediately that she doesn't have to, because he's suddenly standing at the doorway of his office and calling her name. "Morgana?"

She turns, finally looking at him, and she's thoroughly surprised by what she sees. He still looks the same, but different at the same time. His hair is all over the place, even more so than its usual state of unruly, his eyes are bloodshot, dark circles were formed around his eyelids, he looks paler than ever, and he just looks like he had lost all hope in life. She snaps out of her shock and clears her throat. "Yes?"

He looks down and then back up at her, "May I speak with you for a moment?" He doesn't wait for her answer, turning to go back inside his office. She follows him silently, not sure whether to sit or stand. Merlin makes that decision for her and gestures to the chair in front of his desk. "Have a seat, please."

Morgana obeys, her nerves going to war with themselves inside her. She waits for him to speak as she fidgets nervously with her hands.

Merlin sighs heavily, and Morgana thinks he looks older than he actually is. _Had he always looked so tired and lost? Or did knowing about his past open my eyes to what is really going on with him_? "I wanted you to be the first to know." Merlin says in a low tone.

Morgana looks curiously at him. He looks like he's about to announce that he's firing her or something, and she has a fleeting feeling of worry as she watches him take a piece of paper from his desk and hands it to her. "To be the first to know what?" She asks warily as she glances down at the paper. Before she starts reading, he continues.

"I'm selling the company."

...

Author's Note: Dun Dun Duuuuuunn! Sorry, I like the sound of doom. But fret not, my fellow readers, it's nothing I can't fix in the next chapter or so. So, stay tuned! Also, my new fic: The Forbidden Words, is posted already, so check that out if you're a big Mergana fan like me! Thanks for reading, and please review!

-McDiggin'It


	8. Chapter 8

Title: The Wrong Emotion

...

Chapter Eight:

..."I'm selling the company.

"Her reaction is instantaneous, her head snapping up and her eyes narrowing at him, _surely I must've misheard him_. "I beg your Pardon?" She asks, then bites her lip.

Merlin shakes his head and leans forward on his seat. "That," he points to the paper she's holding, "Is my resignation letter. I came into the office late last night and made all the arrangements that is needed for my transition out of the company. Nothing else changes, except for me leaving. After tomorrow, I'm selling the company to Uther, and I've told him that my only condition will be to keep everything as it is. He agreed and I offered my position to his son, Arthur. I haven't received a reply yet from him, but I'm certain he'll take it. I wanted you to know so you won't wonder why your boss is suddenly blonde with brown eyes." He tries to joke, but Morgana is not laughing, still staring at him and completely speechless.

Merlin clears his throat and looks at his hands. "Also, I want to apologize for the other night. Everything I said and did, I'm sorry."

Morgana is still staring, her eyes widening farther with every second that he spoke. "And I hope you like your new boss. I'm sure you'll be much happier working with him than with me."

That is when she snaps out of her shock, ignoring the fact that this is probably the most he's ever said in.. well, ever. "You're leaving the company?" She asks incredulously, getting up from her chair and glaring at him.

"Selling it, actually." Merlin corrects nonchalantly as if he didn't care about the company that he had spent all his life trying to build up from the ground.

She's spluttering like an idiot as she tries to wrap her head around Merlin's revelation. "Why? This is your company, and it's going great! The stocks are growing at extremely high rates!" She doesn't know what she's saying. She should be happy, right? Ecstatic even! But she isn't. Not even a little.

Merlin sighs again, scratching the back of his neck as he does so, "It's complicated. There are..." He trails off and looks directly into her eyes. "things I need to do, and places I need to go."

"Like what? And where are you going?" She demands, not caring thathe'sthe boss andshe'sthe assistant. Her anger is slowly, but surely building up inside her, and she's certain it's not stopping until she explodes.

"That's my business, Morgana."

Morgana shakes her head furiously and yells at him. "No, this is your Business!" She gestures around his office, wondering what the hell is going on with the man. Who the hell just shows up to work one day and decides to sell his beloved company?

He's a little surprised at her reaction, but he hides it rather well. "My decision is final, Morgana. Come tomorrow morning, Uther will buy Camelot Stocks, and Arthur will be your new CEO."

Morgana stares incredulously at him. "Does this have something to do with you visiting your parents graves in Ireland?"

Merlin blinks at her, then his eyes narrow at her suspiciously. "How-" he cuts himself and closes his eyes, inhaling slowly. He mutters something under his breath that sounded remarkably like 'Gaius, that bloody tattletale." He rolls his eyes. "It has nothing to do with that." He concludes.

"Then why are you selling a company you worked so hard to build?" Honestly, she thinks he may have lost his bloody mind. Maybe he's finally snapped.

He gives her a sad smile and walks over to the shelf on the far wall. He pulls out a binder and opens it, pulling out a piece of paper from one of the sheet protectors. He stares at it for a few minutes before giving it to Morgana.

She looks at it, seeing the company name, logo, and his fathers name, Balinor Emrys listed as the CEO. "In my parents will, they left pretty much everything they ever owned to me. They made sure I was taken care of, and named Gaius as my legal guardian... And they named me as successor to their company." He laughs humorlessly. "I was only 6. And the weight of that knowledge, was almost too much for me to bear. To know that they're entrusting me with their business." He looks down at the desk, staring at it as if it were the most interesting thing in the room. "So I studied hard, worked hard, stayed up late at night to read up on stocks, and how to run the company." He finally looks up, and his eyes held a sort of faraway look. Like he's remembering what his life had been like. "I had convinced myself that they didn't want me to fail in their company." He then looks directly into Morgana's eyes and shakes his head once. "So I succeeded in the company... But I failed in life."

Morgana finally understood. He was giving it up so he can pursue a life. A real life. So he can do what he never had time to do before. "You can still have a life and run a company at the same time, you know?" She suggests timidly.

Merlin sighs heavily, "Be that as it may, but I don't need the company."

She stares incredulously at him, "Well what if the company needs you? What if Uther can't run two companies at the same time?"

"I'm sure Arthur will help him." Merlin returns.

"Well what if Arthur can't do what you do? I'm sure he'd be a great boss, but he doesn't exactly have a masters degree in Business and-"

"Morgana, why are you making this difficult?" Merlin asks desperately. He's utterly confused by her behavior. He's always known she held some sort of contempt towards him, even hate. And he thought that she'd be grateful for this news, but shes acting like she's not.

Morgana looks away from his confused expression and down at her feet. She doesn't know or have an answer to that question. She's just as confused as he is.

"When I sell this company, I won't have any ties to it." Merlin states simply. "What Uther and his son do to the company will no longer be my concern. They can turn it into a petting zoo for all I care."

Morgana looks at him then, her anger coming back in full force. "This isn't you." He rolls his eyes, and she hates that he's so nonchalant about the whole thing. "You've dedicated so much of your time and life to this company, and getting a life, is just not a good enough reason to sell it."

"Well maybe you were right about me, Morgana." His voice is venomous as he narrows his eyes at her. "Maybe I don't have affections at all, and maybe this company, everything in it, around it, and attached to it, means nothing to me."

It sounded too much like he was referring to her. That she means nothing to him. And it's not like it matters, but it hurts her. So she hurts him back. "Or maybe it means too much to you. Maybe you're too scared of everything you feel about this company and what it holds, so you're running away like a true coward!"

He steps around his desk and approaches her. She takes a few steps, and he follows, backing her up right against the wall. "You think you've got me all figured out, don't you?" He rests his hands on the wall on either side of her head, and a sense of deja vu hits Morgana like a freight train. This was almost exactly like the other night. He pushed her, she pushed back, and then he shattered everything.

She refuses to back down, looking up at his face with a smug look. "I think I do have you figured out. And I think it terrifies you."

He leans down, his face so close, she could feel the warmth radiating off of him. She grits her teeth against the urge to look away from his scorching gaze. His eyes flicker to her lips, and she could almost taste his mouth and the impending descent it is going to make. "Do you want to know what solidified my decision to sell the company?" His voice is low and husky as he tilts his head.

She breathes a soft, "What?"

He kisses her, and she's ready this time, already kissing him back as fireworks explode behind her eyelids. She hadn't known she wanted this so much until now. Her arms leave her sides to wrap around his neck, pulling him closer until they're practically a part of the wall. When he pulls away, they're both panting heavily and staring into each other's eyes. Then he pulls away completely and gives her a look. "Because of you." He says softly. "The reason I actually decided to sell the company is because of you."

She's beyond confused now. He'd just kissed her like his life depended on it, and then tells her he's selling the company and leaving because of her? What the actual bloody hell? "Why me?"

He shakes his head and turns to go back to the desk to get his bag. "Because you will never understand just how much you affect me, and I will never do anything about it."

He begins towards the door, but Morgana blocks his path, her eyes full of questions. "Then help me understand." It's her last attempt at stopping him from leaving. She's desperate, though she's not entirely sure what she's desperate about. He stares at her for a long time, contemplating her words. Morgana stares back hopefully, wondering if he'll actually do something.

He shrugs his bag off a moment later, and as soon as it hits the floor, Morgana practically lunges forward, grabbing hold of the lapels on his jacket and pulling him down. Their lips crash together, and their arms wrap around each other, trying to get as close as possible.

She doesn't know what she's doing, but whatever it is, she knows she needs it more than she's ever needed anything in her life.

It's the sound of a loud thud and a gasp that pulls them apart from each other, and they both turn their heads towards the sound.

Arthur stares widely at the two, his mouth hanging open in shock as the feeling of betrayal seeps through his veins. He bends down to pick up his fallen briefcase, turns swiftly, and marches back to the elevator.

Dread and guilt fills Morgana's heart as she watches the elevator doors begin to close. '"Arthur!" She calls, turning to follow him, but Merlin grabs her wrist. She looks at him, angry at herself and angry at him for putting her in this position. Mostly, she's confused so she pulls away from his grasp.

He's looking at her with sad eyes, and she hates him even more for it because there he goes again, making her feel _everything_ for him. "I'm sorry, Morgana."

She narrows her eyes at him as her brain conjures up thoughts of him scheming and planning to do this to her. To hurt her one last time before he leaves. "You knew he'd be here, didn't you?" She accuses. She's not even sure about where that accusation came from. She's angry at herself, and he just happens to be standing too close to the firing squad.

He gives her a hurt look, and she forces herself to ignore it. "Yes I knew he was coming, but I didn't think he was going to show up so early." He sighs tiredly and scrubs a hand down his face. "I'm not that evil, Morgana."

She laughs humorlessly and glares at him. "You could've fooled me." She deadpans.

This time, he really _does_ look hurt. Like she had just slapped him across the face. He quickly raises a hand and gently caresses her cheek with the back of his hand, and then just as quickly, he pulls away and picks his bag up from where he dropped it earlier. "I'll fix this." He says softly. "And then you'll never have to see me again... I promise." He leaves before she could fully comprehend what he had said.

She leans against the wall, sliding down until she's sitting on the floor as tears fill her eyes. She's also not sure who she's crying for. Her head tells her it's Arthur. Her heart screams it's Merlin.

...

This is probably the most awkward thing he's ever had to do. He mentally slaps himself as he searches the sea of people for a man with blonde hair. Kind of hard to do when there are literally hundreds of people walking to and fro along the sidewalk, many of whom are blonde.

His eyes narrowing as he spots a familiar figure, the exact one he was searching for, walking towards the crosswalk. Merlin knows he didn't walk there in his suit, and searches the road for the designated black Chevy that usually drives Uther and his son around. He spots the Chevy parked on a curb across the street before looking back at the man.

"Arthur!" He calls, managing to stop the man in his tracks, but then Arthur was only turning to glare darkly at him before turning away again and continuing onto the road.

It all happened so fast. At the corner of his eye, Merlin sees a white Camaro speeding down the road, just as Arthur steps onto the crosswalk, not even bothering to look at the red pedestrian lights. Merlin didn't think as he sprinted towards the blonde man. He hears the screeching tires of a car just as he reaches the blonde man and pushes him out of the way as hard as he could. Arthur rolls on the ground and glances back in surprise.

Merlin knew he was too late to move out of the way himself, only stopping long enough to see the shocked expression on Arthur's face. And then, total darkness consumes him.

...

A/N: So this one is a little shorter than the other chapter I posted, but I hope you like it. I'm really upset because I had already written a whole chapter that I really liked, but my niece had deleted it by accident from my computer. So I had to rewrite it, but it just wasn't the same. Anyway, please leave a review, and also, check out my 2 latest MERGANA one-shots if you haven't already. One is called, "The Forbidden Words" and the other is called "Not A Dream". Thank you again, and I'll try to update as soon as possible. :)

-McDiggin'It


	9. Chapter 9

Title: The Wrong Emotion

A/N: WARNING: Character Death!... Just kidding! lol. Thank you all for your wonderful reviews. I love and appreciate each and every one of you! Anyway, there will be a tiny time jump in this chapter, and some angst and crying, and sadness. I'm sorry. But I promise it gets better, I think. Anyway, please review! Btw, there's no character death just to clear that up. I just wanted to write that because I never have the nerve to actually kill off anyone.

-McDiggin'It

...

Chapter Nine:

...

Merlin knew he was too late to move out of the way, only having long enough to look at the shocked expression on Arthur's face. And then, total darkness consumes him.

...

 _-Two Weeks Later_ -

...

"Gaius?" A feminine voice calls softly.

Gaius looks up from his book and towards the door of Merlin's private hospital room to find Gwen and Arthur standing there. Gwen's eyes are on him, but Arthur's were trained on Merlin's still unconscious form.

Gaius smiles wistfully at the two. "Guinevere, Arthur. Please come in." He says as he puts his book away and gets up to greet the two.

Gwen moves forward, hugging the elderly man she had just met 2 weeks ago. Arthur hangs back by the door, his hands digging into his pockets as he looks away from Merlin's form and towards the far wall.

Gaius gives him a sympathetic look. "I've said it before, and I'll keep saying it until you stop blaming yourself, Arthur. It was not your fault."

Arthur gives him a single hesitant nod, smiling sadly at him. "It should've been me."

At that, both Gwen and Gaius roll their eyes at the man. "No it shouldn't." Gwen chastises him. "And even if it should, it doesn't make it your fault, Arthur." Gwen tells him softly. The man hadn't stopped blaming himself since the accident had happened.

Arthur looks around the room, hoping to change the subject. "Where's Morgana?"

Gaius sighs heavily, shaking his head. "I had to threaten to call security on her for her to finally go home and get some sleep." He chuckles softly. "She left angrily after making me promise to stop trying to make her leave."

Gwen smiles, knowing how stubborn her friend can be. Her smile turns sad as she looks over at Merlin's form, breathing evenly as he slept.

"Of course, I'm hoping I won't have to keep that promise." Gaius looks over at his comatose nephew.

"Any progress?" Gwen asks softly.

Gaius sighs tiredly, shaking his head. "No... I thought I heard him speak last night, but in my old age, I've been hearing a lot of voices in my head, so perhaps it wasn't Merlin."

Gwen glances over at Arthur, who is still quiet and staring down at the ground. "It's been 2 weeks." He mutters. "He's supposed to have woken up by now..." He finally looks at them again, and his eyes held all the guilt they know he feels. "What if he never wakes up?"

Gaius waves a hand at him, dismissing the question. "We mustn't think like that. Merlin is a strong willed person. I'm sure he'll wake up sooner or later."

Arthur nods, hoping the elder man is right. If he isn't, he doesn't know if he'll ever get rid of this bitter, sinking feeling in his stomach. He closes his eyes and sighs heavily as memories of the accident flood his mind.

Unbeknownst to them, a hand that hadn't moved in two weeks, slowly grips the sheet beneath it.

 _Arthur is angry. So much so, he thinks he might go blind with rage. His chest aches with the betrayal of Morgana. He never thought she would do such a thing to him, and especially not with her boss._

 _Hadn't she been the one to complain about Merlin and how he's a horrible person?_ What had I missed? _He's so consumed in his thoughts, the blonde man didn't pay attention to where he was walking. He just needed to get as far away from there as possible._

 _"Arthur!"_

 _The blonde man knew instantly who the voice belonged to, and he only turns to glare at the man, noticing that Morgana is not with him. He wants nothing to do with him, and he refuses to let the man try and talk himself or Morgana out of this one. They had gone behind his back. Well, Morgana did. She was his girlfriend! Merlin however, he's nothing to him._

 _A mere business acquaintance._

Surely Merlin must've done something differently to lead Morgana into betraying me. _Arthur searches his thoughts, memories, everything about Morgana, and he instantly banishes them._

 _Too many times, he's seen the look on her face when she looked at her boss... He just refused to believe it then. Shaking his head, he continues walking, not even bothering to look where he's going._

 _Suddenly, he's pulled out of his thoughts, startled into near oblivion when a hand pushes him hard and sends him flying forward. He catches himself before his face could hit the ground, and he turns onto his back, eager to know who the bloody hell had just pushed him._

 _But his train of thought flees as he looks up to see Merlin, looking at him with wide eyes. It all happened so fast, but like slow motion at the same time._

 _There's loud screeching of tires, a car skidding along the road, and then Merlin's body was being tossed in the air like a rag doll._

 _Arthur nearly hurls when the car finally skids to a halt a couple of feet away from him and Merlin is falling head first into the pavement behind it. A sickening crunch could be heard, and Arthur freezes for a second, his eyes widening with fear and panic._

 _At the sound of honking horns and screaming people, he finally springs to action, scrambling to his feet and sprinting towards Merlin's body._

 _The wish to upchuck the contents of his stomach is strong as the sight of blood quickly pooling around Merlin's head, meets his eyes._

 _Swallowing his fear, he calls,_ screams _for help as he takes his jacket off and kneels down beside Merlin's head before lifting the man's upper body so he can wrap his jacket around his head in hopes of stopping or at the very least, slowing the bleeding. He doesn't dare to look at the extent of Merlin's head injury._

 _Holding his breath, he presses his middle and forefinger to Merlin's neck, checking for a pulse. He waits with bated breath, hoping, praying for a beat. He nearly cries when he feels it. It's weak, faint, and nearly nonexistent, but it's there._

 _He doesn't care that the man's blood is all over his new jacket, shirt, and pants. He doesn't care that this is the very man who he had just witnessed, making out passionately with his girlfriend. He doesn't care that there's a huge crowd forming around him as tears began to collect and escape from his eyes. He just wants the man to be alive. Right now, he is, and that's all that matters._

 _It feels like forever until the ambulance arrives, but it's only been 7 minutes. Seven minutes in which he nearly loses his mind with worry and confusion._

 _Here he is, holding a man who is practically a stranger in his arms while he's probably bleeding to death, and all he could think, was 'why?'_

 _Why had the man tried to save him? It makes no sense. If it had been him in his place, he's not sure he'd do the same._

 _As the paramedics get Merlin's unconscious form onto a gurney and into the ambulance, Arthur follows him into the ambulance, not wanting to leave the man alone._

 _The whole ride to the hospital, he sat back, knuckles white as he grips his seat tightly while paramedics continue with their procedures to save Merlin's life._

 _And as the paramedics call out "We're losing him!"_

 _Arthur turns his head away, closing his eyes as he begins to chant under his breath._

 _"Please don't die. Please don't die. Please don't die."_

...

Sleep would not take her. She's exhausted, her body screaming for her brain to shut up and go to sleep, but her mind just wouldn't obey.

She stares at the ceiling first. Then she's staring at the wall, the far wall, the wall opposite her bed, the pillow beside her, and back to the ceiling. Sleep continues to evade her, and she resists the urge to scream.

In all honesty, she's afraid. Terrified really, that she might get a call from the hospital, telling her that something had happened to Merlin while she was sleeping.

This has been the most terrifying two weeks of her life. When she had gotten the call from Gaius, she was still at work, staring at the wall inside Merlin's office. She remembers the confusion she felt at receiving a call from the elderly man, and how the confusion quickly turned to dread, concern, and horror. She remembers it like it were yesterday.

...

 _"Hello?" Morgana spoke with a low tone, her thoughts still a mess from her encounter with Merlin, and her concern about Arthur._

 _"Morgana? Hello? May I speak to Morgana, please?"_

 _Morgana's eyebrows furrow at recognizing Gaius' voice. "Yes, Gaius? Is everything okay?"_

 _There was a short pause, and a long sigh from the old man before he finally spoke, "No... I'm afraid not."_

 _She's even more confused now as she finally, after nearly an hour and a half of sitting on the floor in Merlin's office, gets up and walks towards her desk. "What's going on?"_

 _"It's Merlin." There's another pause, this one much longer than the last, and Morgana feels her insides clench, her chest tighten, her hands shaking, and sweat begin to form on her forehead._

 _"What's happened? Is he okay?" She asks, her voice barely above a whisper._

 _"We don't know yet. I didn't know if you would've wanted to be here, but we're waiting on his operation."_

 _"Operation?" Her mind reels with confusion and worry. What the hell happened? He was just here about an hour and a half ago! Her mind immediately begins to form random scenarios in her head, each one more horrid than the last. She shakes her head as she leans against her desk for support. "Gaius, what operation are you talking about?"_

 _"There's been an accident." Gaius answers, and it's like the air is immediately sucked out of the room, Morgana only having time to catch herself on her chair as her knees buckle beneath her._

 _"A-a-accident?" She thought her voice was shaking before, but she was wrong. That was a tiny tremor compared to the earthquake her vocals are rolling on now._

 _There's voices on the other line as Morgana tries to focus on Gaius' words. "Merlin was hit by a car just outside Camelot Stocks. Arthur is here with me and we're waiting on Merlin's operation to-"_

 _"Where?" Morgana cuts him off. "What hospital?" Her panic is growing by the second, and her brain is practically forced into overdrive as she focuses on breathing._

 _"The Royal London Hospital." Gaius replies easily, not at all offended by the otherwise rude interruption. It's understandable, given the circumstances._

 _"I'll be there soon." She doesn't know what came over her in that moment as she hangs up, sticks her phone and car keys in her pocket, pretty much forgetting absolutely everything, including her purse as she practically sprints towards the elevators._

 _She drove like a bloody maniac, honking her horn at traffic lights and screaming at the slow drivers. Each time she was able to get in front of a slow driver, it seemed like another slow driver would appear out of nowhere._

 _She gets to her destination in just under 10 minutes, and she thanks all that is holy and good in this world that she hadn't been pulled over by the police for speeding. She would surely lose her mind and beat someone to a bloody pulp if that had happened._

 _She's parked horribly, pretty much taking up 2 parking spaces, and she can't even bring herself to care as she takes off towards the emergency room._

 _Her head whips from side to side as her eyes search out the elderly man she had spoken to last on the phone. Instead, she finds Arthur crouched in a corner with his head in his hands._

 _She notices immediately that he's not wearing the jacket he had been wearing earlier, and she approaches him quickly, not having the energy to have a conversation about what he saw between her and Merlin, but determined to find out what happened. "Arthur."_

 _He lifts his head, and Morgana stops in her tracks at the sight of blood- so much blood staining his white shirt, tie, and grey pants. She hadn't noticed it when she first saw him because he was bent forward in a way that covered the front of his clothes, but she can see it as clear as day now._

 _Her hand involuntarily flies to cover her mouth as she swallows down the gasp in her throat._

 _Arthur stands, and she notices immediately, the worried and guilty look on his face. "Morgana." he whispers, and then he's moving forward as a tiny sob leaves his mouth. She hugs him even though she feels like she's the one who needs a hug and preferably some good news. She ignores the clench in her chest at the strong iron scent of blood on Arthur's clothes. Merlin's blood. Her eyes water and she bites her lip to keep from crying._

 _"Are you hurt?" She asks shakily, and she feels him shake his head against her shoulder._

 _"No.. But it was supposed to be me." Arthur mutters distraughtly. "It's my fault."_

 _Morgana pulls away then, her vision blurred with tears as she looks at him. "What do you mean?" She asks fearfully. "What happened?" She hopes and prays that Arthur doesn't say that he had pushed Merlin in front of a moving vehicle because she definitely wouldn't disagree with him then._

 _Arthur opens his mouth to answer, but then Gaius is there with a disapproving look on his face. "It's not your fault, Arthur."_

 _Morgana inwardly sighs in utter relief. She cares about Arthur, and though she still doesn't know what happened, she knows she would hate him and probably never forgive him if he had deliberately caused the accident that's gotten Merlin there in hospital, undergoing an operation to save his life. "What happened?" She asks for what seems like the thousandth time._

 _Gaius looks at Arthur, who shakes his head and looks away. The older man gives him a comforting look. Arthur had barely been able to tell him what happened the first time and he doubts he wants to retell it again so soon. He gives Arthur a pat on the back gesturing for him to take a seat._

 _Arthur doesn't sit down, but he goes back to the corner where Morgana had found him earlier and stands there, staring down at his feet._

 _"Walk with me." Gaius tells Morgana, not waiting for her to respond before turning and walking towards the exit doors._

 _It takes a few moments of uncomfortable and infuriating waiting, but Gaius finally speaks again, his voice low and his tone somber. "Merlin was hit by a car while trying to save Arthur."_

 _Morgana's gasp is loud enough to draw attention from a few passerby's, and Gaius looks over his shoulder as if worried that Arthur might have followed them outside and was eavesdropping. Once sure Arthur was not there, he continues. "The surgeons are doing everything they can as we speak, and all we can do right now, is wait."_

 _Morgana wants to protest, she wants to go and see Merlin right now, but she knows that she'll only get in the way of the surgeons doing their job. So she just looks at Gaius with a worried gaze, "What are the extents of his injuries?-" she pauses and swallows the lump forming in her throat, "I- I saw the blood on Arthur's clothes."_

 _Gaius nods and runs a hand through his shaggy hair, "I fear that when Merlin's head hit the ground, it broke through the skin, and may have shattered part of his skull..." He sighs and looks into Morgana's eyes with sadness. "If my assumptions are correct, which I hope is not the case, there's a strong possibility that he won't make it... But if he does, the chances of him being the same when he wakes up are slim to none."_

 _Morgana felt for the second time that day as if the air had been sucked out of her very body. She shakes her head furiously as she angrily swipes at the tears staining her cheeks. "No... He will wake up, Gaius. He will!" Even as she said it, she couldn't believe it entirely. Even Gaius' nod of agreement did very little to ease her pain and worry that he might not make it._

 _She calls Gwen, who arrives 20 minutes later, holding a cup carrier with 4 cups of coffee. Setting down the coffee carrier, she immediately goes to Morgana, enveloping her in a hug. "I stopped for some coffee. I figured you could all use some caffeine right now."_

 _Morgana nods, thanking her friend softly._

 _"Are you okay?" Gwen asks tentatively._

 _Morgana shakes her head, her lip quivering. "I don't know."_

 _Again, Gwen hugs her tightly, rubbing soothing, comforting circles over her back. "He'll be okay. I'm sure of it."_

 _Morgana wants to ask her how she could be so sure of it. What if he doesn't make it? What then?! She pushes the thoughts away immediately. She can't afford to think like that. Gwen is right. Merlin will make it, and he will be okay._

 _The wait is long, 3 hours to be exact. Finally the doors to the OR open up, and a tall man walks out, looking around. "If I may speak to the family of the patient?"_

 _Morgana wrinkles her nose at the way he says 'patient'. And of course it's not the surgeons fault that he doesn't know Merlin, but it makes her uneasy to hear the unfamiliarity in which he refers to Merlin as if he weren't important. But it's all in her head. She just feels defensive of him in this moment._

 _Gaius steps forward, and looks behind him towards the 3. He's only just met them, but they all seem to really care for Merlin. Even Arthur who, from what he's heard, barely knows Merlin at all. "They're family too." Gaius says, to which Morgana, Arthur, and Gwen all give him grateful looks._

 _The surgeon throws the other 3 a hesitant look before nodding and shaking their hands as he introduces himself as Dr. Edwin._

 _"The patient-"_

 _"His name is Merlin." Morgana cuts in, waiting for the surgeon to nod before nodding in satisfaction herself._

 _"Right." The surgeon smiles knowingly at her. "Merlin, for the time being, is stabilized."_

 _Sighs of utter relief are released as he continues. "He sustained quite a few injuries." He says sounding impressed. "But the most fatal wound came from a horrible blow to the back of his head, which caused bleeding in the brain tissues and the layers that surround and protect the brain. This is called subarachnoid hemorrhaging, which can have certain effects on the brain, and could cause a coma, paralysis, and even death."_

 _Their little group exchanged worried looks at that; they were no doctors by any means, but they knew instantly that this is serious. The surgeon gives them an apologetic look. "We did everything we could for him. All that's left to do, is to wait for Merlin to wake up..." He looks at Morgana in particular, and he gives her a somber look. "I must caution, these types of traumatic brain injuries are unpredictable. Some patients wake up within 3 days, some take months, and some more unfortunate patients, don't wake up at all. So you must be prepared for anything."_

 _Gaius nods understandingly. "Thank you, Doctor."_

 _The doctor nods, taking a step back, but Morgana stops him. "Doc?" Her voice breaks and she pauses, clearing her throat._

 _"Yes?"_

 _Morgana looks warily at the others before asking, "When he wakes up, will there be any... symptoms we need to be aware of?"_

 _He nods, "More likely than not, he'll have severe headaches, confusion, a loss of alertness, irritability, and he might even begin to have seizures. But I suppose the most common would be some memory loss. I'll make sure to print out the rest of the list of symptoms for Merlin's particular condition. It's rather extensive and unpredictable, so it may or may not happen to him. But it's always good to be prepared for anything." He leaves after making sure they had no more questions._

 _Morgana is the first to move, going to a seat and sitting down. She hadn't realized how exhausted she was until now._

...

In the week that followed, Morgana had barely gone home and had put in her leave form from work so she could stay with Merlin. Gwen would stop by after work, or swing by her apartment first to get Morgana a change of clothes before coming over to the hospital to see Merlin for a little while. Arthur would stop by every now and then as well, but he never really says anything.

Morgana remembers how she had pulled him aside a couple of days ago to speak with him and hopefully get past what happened before the accident. They talked, and after explaining to Arthur that she had not intended or wanted to betray him, she eventually told him of the growing feelings she has for Merlin.

Arthur understood, giving her a smile as he told her that he had always thought that she had looked differently at Merlin. He then suggested that they break up but stay friends. She readily agreed, and they ended their conversation with a long, friendly hug.

It was a bittersweet feeling, knowing that she had actually genuinely liked him romantically when they first started dating, but she eventually began to realize that she just wanted to be his friend and nothing more. She had noticed gleefully however, the closeness between Arthur and Gwen growing gradually. At least they won't be lonely.

Her thoughts are interrupted

as her phone starts blaring her ringtone. She snatches the phone up from her nightstand quickly, seeing Gwen's name flashing across the screen and quickly swiping at the green answer button. "Gwen? Is everything alright?"

There's a short pause of silence and then the other girl is replying in a shaky tone. "He's awake."

Honestly, she thinks her brain shuts down for a moment as she just sits there, staring across the room.

"Hello?" Gwen calls softly, "Morgana, are you still there?"

Morgana blinks, jumping out of her bed as if she had been burned. "He's what?!"

"Merlin woke up a couple of minutes ago, and the doctors are currently checking that he's okay."

"I'll be there soon!" Morgana doesn't wait for a reply as she throws her phone on her bed and runs towards her closet. She'd leave now, but she's still in her pajamas. And though she wouldn't care about her attire, she's pretty sure people will notice and probably call the psych ward to inform them that they might be missing a patient.

A smile widens on her lips as she thinks back to something Merlin had said to her a few weeks ago when he had supposedly forgotten to tell her that he needed his suit picked up from the dry cleaners at 6a.m.

 _"I forgot to mention it to you when I got the call from Uther Pendragon.. Be happy I'm telling you_ now _and not calling you at 6a.m to go to the dry cleaners while you're still in your pajamas. While that is a sight I wouldn't mind, I'm sure you'd like to look a little more presentable when you show up at my place with my suit."_

She can't believe she's admitting it to herself, but she actually misses his annoying behavior and smartarse replies _._

She dresses quickly before making her way to her car. She bites her lip, trying to contain her joy at knowing that Merlin is _finally_ awake.

...

When she arrives at the door to Merlin's hospital room, her heart is beating wildly in her chest and the lump that had been slowly forming in the back of her throat was now almost impossible to swallow. She takes a few deep breaths, steeling herself for what she's about to see.

Of course, she's seen him everyday for the past 2 weeks, but he had been unconscious then. Now he's awake and she's not sure what to expect. _Will he be angry to see me? Will he blame me for letting him go after Arthur? Did he blame Arthur? Will he hate me for pushing him away?_

The possibilities are endless!

Finally, she forces herself to stay calm as she opens the door and slowly enters.

Morgana first sees Gwen and Arthur standing on the other side of Merlin's bed, with Gaius on the opposite side with his back to her and currently blocking Merlin from her view.

As she takes a tentative step forward, Gwen finally notices her and rushes forward to hug her. "We were just about to explain to him what happened." Gwen informs her, to which she nods, eyes still trained on Gaius' back.

Finally, Gaius moves, turning to smile at her.

Morgana completely forgets to smile back at the old man as her eyes focus on the man sitting on the hospital bed. He looked worn and tired, his head is no longer wrapped in its usual bandage, and he looked so different.

But not because of the weight loss, or the scar at his temple. He looked different because of the way he is now looking at her. Usually, he gave her a look of fond recognition, and sometimes a smug and confident look. Right then, his face is expressionless as he stares at her.

"Merlin." She breathes, taking a step towards him.

He continues to stare at her, eyebrows slowly pulling together as she comes to stand beside Gaius by his bed.

Merlin looks at Gaius then, blinking rapidly at his uncle.

"Gaius, who is _she_?"

The gasps that leave everyone else's mouth is loud against Morgana's ears as her heart begins to sink and tears begin to collect in her eyes.

Merlin looks around at them, wondering why they're so surprised. _He's_ surprised his girlfriend isn't there yet, and he doesn't really know Gwen and Arthur.. Just that they work with him at Camelot Stocks. His head is starting to hurt now, and he shakes it, looking at Gaius again. He needs his girlfriend to come and help him understand what's going on. "Where's Freya?"

All Morgana can think is, _No. Please, no!_

...

A/N: Cliiiiiiffff Hangeeeerrrrr! Sorry for that. But the chapter was getting too long. But I'll update as soon as I can. And please let me know what you think! I'm nervous about this chapter. Love you all!

-McDiggin'It


	10. Chapter 10

Title: The Wrong Emotion

A/N: I apologize for the cliff hanger last time. But let's kick up the angst a little, shall we? I know this story barely has any Mergana moments, but I promise you, they're coming... Just maybe not in this chapter. R&R!

-McDiggin'It

...

Chapter Ten:

They called it selective memory loss. Something that was an onset of the subarachnoid hemorrhaging, but ultimately came down to Merlin's brain subconsciously choosing which memories to forget.

And he chose _her_. To forget _her_ completely. He remembers Arthur, Uther, Gwen, Freya and even Lance! But he forgot entirely about her.

She doesn't want to admit it, but it hurts. Like hell. He looks at her like she's a nuisance to him, treats her like its her fault that he's in the hospital, and speaks as if she's not there. He doesn't even speak _to_ her unless he has no choice at all.

Of course, Gaius, Gwen, and even Arthur had tried their hardest to try and help him remember, but he says he remembers nothing about her.

Gwen had gotten angry and asked him who he thinks his assistant was. Merlin had blinked, trying to remember who had been his assistant, then had mentioned someone they didn't know by the name of Gwaine, save for Gaius who sighed and informed them that Gwaine was his assistant before Morgana took the job. He turned to Merlin and informed him, "You fired him because he went AWOL for a month and called you from Thailand to inform you that he had gotten drunk and ended up there and that he woke up married to a stripper by the name of 'Sunshine'."

Merlin's eyebrows pulled together in confusion, and then in thought. After a few moments, his eyes widened. "I remember!"

Hopeful looks were exchanged in the room. Gwen spoke again, asking "So do you remember hiring Morgana shortly afterwards?"

Merlin sighed and shook his head. "No."

"Well try!" Arthur snapped. Morgana stayed silent the whole time, watching Merlin's face as it changed from a contemplative look, to an angry frown.

"I don't know why you're all so adamant about me remembering her." He looks at Arthur, shaking his head. "You're an odd man, Arthur. Why must you join in on this ridiculousness? Isn't she _your_ girlfriend?"

Morgana bit the inside of her cheek and looked away. Again, he's speaking of her as if she weren't there. It was Arthur who had been angry then, yelling at Merlin to pull his head out of his ass. "She _was_. But we decided that it wouldn't work out because of _you_!"

Merlin blinked, looking around at all of them as if they had lost their bloody minds. "What the hell are you talking about?" He paused to look at his uncle, "Gaius, what the hell is the clotpole talking about?"

Arthur looked offended. _What the bloody hell is a clotpole?_

Gaius looked at Morgana, who again, looked away. "Morgana is your assistant, Merlin... You were the one who insisted that she was your _favorite_ assistant... And you may have told me a few other things about her that you... favored."

Morgana looked up then because that was news to her. Merlin scoffed, his cheeks reddening. "No. I assure you, I _don't_ favor anyone." He gave Morgana a pointed look. "Especially not someone who seems so desperate. It's annoying."

Arthur's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets as he clenched his jaw. "That's it! I'm killing him." He lunged forward, but Morgana stopped him before he could strangle Merlin on his bed.

"That's enough." She said sternly to him and then looked directly at Merlin. "If he doesn't remember, we won't force him to." She left after that with her heart aching inside her chest.

...

After the doctors cautioned against forcing Merlin to remember things, they had been rather reluctant to try again.

Days go by, and Morgana is slowly losing hope of him ever remembering her. She would spend almost everyday with him after work, hoping he would somehow remember her.

She makes him sushi because he decided that he suddenly likes raw fish. She doesn't tell him that she made it though. For some reason, he doesn't trust her, so he never drinks or eats anything he knows she made.

It annoys her to no end because is this how he treats people he doesn't know? The thought repulses her, so she chooses to ignore it, figuring it's only fair since he doesn't "know" her.

He sleeps a lot. Those are Morgana's favorite times because at least then, he's not glaring at her like she just kicked his cat and stole his last grain of rice. It's rather ridiculous, but those times when he's asleep and she's alone with him, she holds his hand and tells him how she feels about him. She tells him how she used to think she hated him, but just recently realized that she never actually hated him. She just disliked him a lot because she misunderstood him and judged him. And for that, she's sorry.

Sometimes she reads to him. He never asked her to, but she does it anyway and he doesn't protest. He stays silent, staring at the wall or out the window.

He doesn't know, but every time he falls asleep, she sits with him for a while until it's late, and she kisses his cheek before leaving. Every time she kisses his cheek, memories of their last kiss before Arthur found them, invades her mind and it refuses to leave her until the wee hours of the morning. But it's all she's holding onto right now. He just needs to remember.

...

Morgana bites her anger when he asks her to call Freya again for him. Freya had been by to visit him quite a lot, and Merlin was quickly becoming someone Morgana doesn't even recognize. But she will not give up until he remembers her. She stabs her finger into Freya's name on his phone and hands it to him while ignoring the frequented feeling of jealousy in her chest.

She doesn't like the girl. Freya, like she had told Gwen a couple of weeks ago, acts as if she's better than her and Gwen, and even has the audacity to tell them that she always knew Merlin would want her again. But Morgana knows the truth. Merlin's mind has conjured up false memories, much like when he lost his parents in the accident years ago.

He thinks he's in love with Freya. He thinks they've been involved for the past 5 years, and that they've never broken up before. He thinks she's the one who made him all the sushi he's been eating, and Morgana lets him think that. If it'll make him eat, then she's glad. Otherwise she would've confronted Freya about lying when Merlin had asked her if she was the one to make him the delicious sushi.

Morgana just grits her teeth, and goes along with what they say.

Gwen is there, giving her a sad, comforting look from the other side of the room.

"May I have some privacy?" Merlin asks rather rudely, and Morgana resists the urge to snatch his phone back from him and throw it out the window. Getting up quickly, she gestures to Gwen to follow her out so he can have his bloody privacy.

They're silent as they walk to the little waiting room down the hall.

As they take their seats, Gwen gives Morgana a wary glance. "What if we try and jog his memory?"

"That's what we've been doing, Gwen."

"No, we've been telling him to try and remember. Maybe we should try a different approach."

Morgana looks tiredly at her friend. "How?"

Gwen purses her lips as she thinks. After a few contemplative moments, she answers. "It's simple, really."

Morgana leans in with interest, awaiting her friends answer to a question that has invaded her mind since Merlin woke up from his coma.

"Reenact your moments with him before the accident."

Morgana's hopes deflate almost instantly, "We don't exactly have any moments because I mostly ignored him. He would have to call for me to do something, and then I would have to pretend I enjoy doing it or else he'll fire me." She pauses, looking down sadly at the tiled floors of the hospital. "How ironic." She would've laughed at just how absurd this whole situation seems if she weren't hurting so much on the inside. "The whole time I've known him, I've hated him, been annoyed with him, ignored him, and pushed him away... Now I finally admit to myself that I've been feeling all the wrong emotions for him, and he doesn't even remember me."

Gwen looks at her sympathetically, her eyebrows scrunching together. "You know, you never told me exactly what happened between you and Merlin."

Morgana avoids Gwen's gaze and stares at the wall.

"I hadn't dared to ask Arthur." Gwen shakes her head, thinking about the blonde man she's come to absolutely adore. "He now blames himself for Merlin's memory loss."

"I basically cheated on Arthur, Gwen..." Morgana blurts.

Gwen goes quiet before bumping her shoulder gently against her friends. "I know it wasn't your intention though."

Morgana slowly nods in confirmation. "I just- Merlin started acting differently towards me, and he was being nice. Still annoying, but like, with a filter. And he actually started listening to me, saving me from drowning, sending me roses because I told him that my mother used to fill my room with them whenever I was sick, and it was all so confusing."

"Which part?" Gwen asks sarcastically.

Morgana laughs humorlessly, "All of it. The night of the Winter Ball, he kissed me."

Gwen's eyes widen at that and turns, smacking Morgana lightly on the shoulder. "Why is this news to me?"

Morgana shrugs, "It didn't mean anything." She pauses at Gwen's raised eyebrow. "Okay, fine it meant a lot, but I was with Arthur then and I didn't want to be that girl who cheats, so I tried to pretend it never happened."

"And yet you still ended up being that girl." Gwen says jokingly.

"I thought you said Arthur didn't tell you anything."

"He didn't." Gwen shakes her head as she explains. "But I put 2 and 2 together and figured it out myself... Figured he must've seen something drastic to storm out of the office that made Merlin go after him."

"How do you know Merlin went after Arthur?"

Gwen shrugs, "Because Arthur blames himself for what happened, but mostly because Arthur was there during the accident."

Morgana sighs, shaking her head as well. "It's not his fault. And I don't blame him for one moment. If anything, this whole thing is my fault-"

"Don't you dare blame yourself, Morgana. You weren't even there during the accident!" Gwen chastises her friend, then quickly gives her a soft smile. "I think we need to stop focusing on who's fault this is, and start focusing on how to help Merlin regain his memories of you."

"I don't think he actually wants to remember me." Morgana says dejectedly.

Gwen snorts, "Nonsense!" She waves a hand dismissively, "If there's one thing I know about you, it's that you're one of the most beautiful people I've ever seen... Both inside and outside. If Merlin isn't blind, then I'm sure he's at least physically attracted to you."

"And?"

Gwen rolls her eyes at her friend, "And I'll bet he can't stand not being able to remember all the juicy little things you did together."

Morgana's eyes widen and she playfully glares at Gwen. "We've only kissed, Gwen. Nothing more, nothing less."

"Yes of course," Gwen begins. "But don't tell me you've never wanted to do more with him." Morgana's silence enough, and Gwen smiles triumphantly.

"I rest my case." Morgana mutters softly.

"And we should start on getting his memory back."

The other girl gives her a questioning look as she bites her lip. "What did you have in mind?"

Gwen thinks for a long moment, staring off into the distance before suddenly getting up and looking at her friend. "We have to get his life back."

Morgana blinks incredulously at Gwen. "What are you talking about, Gwen?"

Gwen laughs, "It's perfect! I mean think about it. He's always complaining about how he hates the hospital and wants to go home and back to work, right?"

Morgana nods in confirmation, still not sure how this would help Merlin remember her.

"Well we can put in a request to take him home and continue his therapy there! We'll also take him to his office every now and then."

Morgana rolls her eyes at that, slumping forward. "And how is that going to help Merlin remember me?"

Gwen snorts as she waves a hand dismissively at her friend. "We're going to force him to relive his memories with you. Maybe if he starts doing all the things he used to do before the accident, he'll remember. Because clearly, he's missing huge chunks of his memory, and he's also made up some memories he never actually had." She says, and knows that Morgana picked up on the hint at Freya.

Morgana doesn't think it'll work, but it's not like she has any master plan of her own, so she agrees. No harm, no foul.

...

There's something strange about the girl. She both annoys him and comforts him in a way. But she mostly annoys him with her constant hovering and odd looks.

And it's not like she's hideous or anything. She's beautiful, actually, and quite distracting, which further irritates him. If he is to recover, he needs all distractions removed from his room. But she absolutely refuses to leave or even listen to him.

"Would you like some water?"

Merlin scrunches his nose and glares at her. "No. I would like some sleep."

The girl frowns at him, but nods. "Okay. Let me know if you need anything."

He rolls his eyes and turns away from her and onto his side to stare at the wall. He doesn't know what it is about her that makes him feel so sad, and he hates it. A few moments later, he hears footsteps approaching, and he turns to find Gwen entering his room with a smile. "They're letting you go home, Merlin." She says cheerfully. He thinks she's kind of odd. The whole lot of them is odd. But the news she delivered is quite welcome.

He absolutely hates having to use a wheelchair. It makes him feel incompetent. He had fractured a bone in his right leg during the accident, but it's almost fully healed now with the help of the annoying cast around it. But the doctors had specifically instructed him to stay in his wheelchair for a little while longer.

He would've used his crutches anyway, but the green eyed girl he doesn't remember wouldn't even let him, saying something about staying off his leg so his leg can fully mend itself. He rolls his eyes at the thought.

Recently he's been trying to remember some of the things that they've told him he forgot, but nothing comes to him. The only thing about the girl that seemed familiar to him, are her eyes... But a lot of people have green eyes. Maybe he's thinking of someone else.

Sitting back, Merlin closes his eyes and tries to conjure up the image of her face. His chest tightens for some reason and he doesn't know what to make of that. He's never felt that before... Well, not since he lost his parents. And yet, there's a feeling, sort of like a tug in his chest, telling him that he's felt that before. Except his brain can't remember.

It's all so frustrating. Sometimes, when he's sleeping, he thinks he hears her. But when he wakes up, she's not there, and there's another feeling he doesn't recognize. Disappointment maybe? Again, it's irritating.

Merlin sighs heavily as he sits down on the arm chair in his home. He's glad no one is there at the moment because then no one can tell him to use the damned wheelchair. Gaius is out shopping for groceries, Gwen and Arthur won't be by to visit until tomorrow, Freya is probably still at work, and Morgana is... Well, he heard from Gaius that she had stopped by earlier to say goodbye while he was sleeping before leaving to go out of town for a bit to check out a new place she's looking to move into since her current home is infested with roaches or something. She won't be back for another week.

He smiles, leaning back and closing his eyes, but his smile quickly turns into a frown as images of green eyes flash before his minds eye. He sits up and opens his eyes again as his heart rate speeds up. He doesn't know what it means, but it's unfamiliar. He doesn't get that with Freya. He doesn't suddenly start thinking about Freya's eyes, or feel his heart beating hard against his chest at the thought of her. Yet another thing that irritates him.

He _wants_ to remember, but at the same time, he can't help but feel like there's a reason he doesn't remember. He just doesn't know what that reason is.

Sighing again, he gets up, grabbing his crutches and placing them under his armpits. He moves towards the kitchen, and smiles as he spots a familiar tray on the counter. Taking his phone out of his pocket, he shoots Freya a quick message.

 _I didn't know you stopped by today._

Several minutes later, he gets a text back from her.

 _What are you talking about? I haven't been there since yesterday._

Frowning, Merlin moves closer to the counter and looks at the tray of sushi rolls. _Same tray, same kind of sushi rolls_. He takes one out and pops it into his mouth, chewing slowly. _Same taste_. Furrowing his eyebrows, he dials Gaius' number. On the 3rd ring, his uncle finally picks up.

"Yes, Merlin? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Gaius." He replies, eyes still trained on the tray of sushi rolls.

"Oh good." The old man sighs. "Was there something you needed?"

"No... I- Gaius, who came to the house today?"

There's a short pause before he replies with, "Just Morgana."

Merlin feels his chest tighten again.

"Why? Is something wrong?"

He shakes his head even though Gaius can't possibly see him. "No... Nothing's wrong. Errr, just asking." He hangs up without saying good bye as he takes another piece from the sushi roll and stares at it. _Why had she never told him she was the one who made the sushi? Why did Freya lie to him? It's just sushi!_

He sets the sushi back down, suddenly feeling tired again. He hobbled back to the living room and takes a seat on the couch. He thinks back to when he would wake up to find a fresh tray of sushi rolls laying on his bedside table. He had assumed it was Freya who left it there, and had thanked her for it the next time she stopped by to see him. She had looked a little confused but then she had said it was no problem.

Merlin bites his lips as he stares at the wall of his living room. What the bloody hell else is he missing?

...

A/N: Hellerrr! Okay, so I know this chapter is a little boring, but I'm trying to let it flow out in a way that makes sense. Anyway, the next chapter should be good. I'll add in some more Arwen and their progressing relationship, a bit of Merthur bromance, and also a little more interactions between Freya, Morgana, and Merlin. And those Mergana feels will probably be in the chapter after that. So stay tuned! Thank you again to all the readers for your patience. And to those who left wonderful reviews, I love you! I seriously really appreciate it! Anyway, let me know what you think of this one!

-McDiggin'It


	11. Chapter 11

Title: The Wrong Emotion

A/N: Hello! I must caution, this chapter packs a punch, and ends rather abruptly, so I apologize for that. It's kind of short, but it will have a little bit of everything, and more angst. I admit though, the next one will be longer and better. Thank you to all who read and reviewed. I love you all!

-McDiggin'It

Chapter Eleven:

They've tried everything from taking Merlin to the office, to her sharpening his pencils and glaring at him, to ignoring him, to calling him Mr. Emrys (which still annoys him), to her taking his dry cleaned suits to his home at 6am. He still doesn't remember a thing.

However, Arthur was relieved to find that Merlin doesn't remember wanting to sell the company to his father before the accident. Though Uther was disappointed, his son was ecstatic because now he doesn't have to be stuck inside an office, reading paperwork he has no interest in reading or even touching. So as a small celebration of Merlin keeping his company, Arthur invites the man to have a drink with him at a pub not far from the office.

Of course, Merlin had declined, but Arthur was having none of it. He practically dragged Merlin to the pub and immediately ordered them a round of shots. Needless to say, Merlin woke up with the great grandmother of all headaches and yelled at Arthur for making him drink so much.

"Chided." Arthur had said as they sat down for breakfast inside Merlin's dining room. Arthur had showed up early the next morning with some Aspirin for Merlin's headache.

"What are you talking about?" Merlin asked the blonde man confusedly as he began to peel a banana.

Arthur rolled his eyes. "I didn't force you to do anything at the pub last night. I just chided you into letting loose a little bit."

Merlin grumbled under his breath and threw his uneaten banana at the man.

Arthur ducked easily, laughing at the look on Merlin's face. "At least you had fun."

Merlin said nothing. He won't admit it aloud, but Arthur was right. He _did_ have fun. He also would never admit that hanging out with Arthur was easy and effortless, kind of like hanging out with a brother. Usually, Merlin would get bored of talking to one person for more than 10 minutes. But in the 4 hours he spent trying to outdrink the blonde man, not once did the thought of bolting cross his mind.

...

Days turn to weeks as Gaius, Gwen, and Arthur try their best to recreate moments between Morgana and Merlin, but to no avail.

By the second month, Morgana was furious that Merlin still hadn't remembered a single thing about her. So she tried a different approach. She snapped at him the way she did when they argued, and even went as far as grabbing the lapels of his jacket and pulling him flush against her body. It was an exact reenactment of the last time they had kissed, except, she doesn't actually kiss him. She just stares at him, waiting for a reaction and enjoying the warmth of his body against hers.

And though she _does_ get a reaction from him, it's not exactly the one she was looking for. Merlin had blinked at her like she just sprouted a second head before asking her if she'd lost her mind. She had then let him go and stormed out of his office with a strong desire to murder all things dark-haired and blue-eyed.

Arthur would stop by the office, checking on Merlin and Morgana every now and then, and Gwen would always go over to eat lunch with Morgana at her desk everyday. Freya would show up sometimes, fussing over Merlin and using her fingers to comb his hair back in a way that made Morgana's blood boil. They could tell that the act irritates Merlin. He would snap at Freya to stop doing that, and Morgana would crack a smile. It's a very small victory, but she'll be damned if she doesn't admit to herself that it feels good to see that Merlin isn't exactly over the moon for Freya.

By the time Winter came around, Morgana almost couldn't take it anymore. She sent out copies of her resume' to several different stock companies, though she didn't really have any intentions of actually leaving Camelot Stocks. She just felt overwhelmed by everything that's happened, or rather, the lack of anything happening between her and Merlin.

All she knows, is that being close to him while he still doesn't remember her, is probably the most painful thing she's ever been through.

...

It's too early on a Saturday when Gwen gets a phone call from her bestfriend, so she's half asleep when she answers with a groggy 'Hello?'.

"Did I wake you?" Morgana asks apologetically.

"No, your call did." Gwen replies sarcastically as she sits up and rubs the sleep out of her eyes with her free hand. "Is everything okay?" She glances over at her bedside clock and frowns. "It's 3am." She states matter-of-factly.

"Sorry." Morgana apologizes softly. "I couldn't sleep and- I'm sorry."

Gwen's eyebrows furrow, suddenly feeling wide awake at the obvious distress in her friends voice. "Morgana, are you okay?"

"Yes." Morgana answers, then pauses. "No... I don't know, Gwen."

"What is it?" Gwen asks worriedly as she gets out of bed and slips her house slippers on. She begins to walk to her closet, already looking for something to wear, and already making up her mind about driving to her friends place with some comfort food and a Bogey film.

Morgana's silence is unnerving, but not as much as when she informs Gwen with a shaky voice, "I called Gaius last night to check up on Merlin."

"And?" Gwen is getting a bit impatient with Morgana's long pauses.

There's a sniffle and a sigh, "He told me that Merlin had gone out with Freya on a date last night."

The other girl on the line frowns deeply as she pulls a pair of jeans and a green sweater from her dresser. "What did you say?"

"I just asked him if he could let me know when he gets back safely... Gwen, he didn't call me back." Morgana whispers frantically.

"Maybe he forgot... I mean the man is like a hundred years old, Morgana."

"No." There's a pause and the sound of shuffling fabric. "I just have this feeling that Merlin is still out with Freya... Or maybe they're at _her_ place." 

Gwen bites her lip, as she puts their call on loudspeaker so she can get dressed whilst still on the phone. "Did you try calling Gaius again?"

Silence drags for a few moments before she answers, "I'm scared of what he'll tell me."

"Like what?" Gwen's muffled voice asks through the inside of her sweater.

"I don't know, Gwen!" Morgana practically wails. "That Merlin and Freya are getting it on somewhere out there?!"

Gwen rolls her eyes at that, "I think you might be overthinking this, Morg-"

"No I'm not! He thinks he's in love with her!"

Gwen's eyes narrow as she begins to pull her jeans on. "Morgana, are you in love with Merlin?"

Another pause, followed by a sigh greets the olive skinned girls ears. "I don't know."

"You don't know?" Gwen asks skeptically.

"Yes!"

"Yes, you don't know? Or yes you're in love with Merlin?"

"Gwen." Morgana says warningly.

The other girl sighs heavily as she pulls her jeans on. "You have to figure it out, Morgana."

"But I've never been in love before! How am I supposed to know what that feels like?"

Gwen bites her lip again as she takes a seat on her bed whilst images of a blonde man with extraordinary eyes and a dazzling white smile invades her mind. She smiles to herself before answering. "Well for one, you find yourself thinking about that person all the time. They infuriate you in the worst way possible, and yet you can't bring yourself to hate them... Not completely anyway. And you find yourself comparing pretty much everyone on the planet to them, and realizing that the person you're in love with always comes up on the winning end."

Morgana gasps, putting a hand over her mouth quickly as her eyes widen. "Gwen, are you in love with someone?"

There's a scoff, followed by multiple spluttering stutters. "Psshh, no- I- I'm not really- I don't know what you're talking about and-"

"It's Arthur isn't it?" Morgana asks teasingly. Gwen's silence is answer enough.

"Are you angry?" She asks warily. After all, Arthur is Morgana's ex boyfriend.

"Not about you and Arthur." Morgana chuckles, happy for her friend. "I always knew he had a thing for you, and-"

"Wait, what?" Gwen asks incredulously. "What are you talking about?"

"Gwen, don't tell me you hadn't noticed the way he's been looking at you since the day he met you."

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Morgana."

Morgana rolls her eyes with a sigh, "He likes you, Gwen. That much I'm sure of... And I think that's why he wasn't so angry about me practically cheating on him with Merlin. I'm thinking part of him wasn't into our relationship because he likes you more."

There's a long silence as Gwen thinks about all the times she had caught Arthur looking at her. She thought it was a coincidence, that he had been glancing at her at the same time she had glanced at him, but now that she thinks about it, those glances had happened too many times to be a coincidence. "I'm so confused right now." She groans as she gets up and heads to the bathroom to fix up her hair and brush her teeth. "How did we even get to me and Arthur? We were talking about you just a few minutes ago."

Morgana sighs, knowing that this was Gwen trying to change the subject. It's not just her and Merlin who are having quite the dilemma now.

Gwen shows up to her flat nearly half an hour later with a large tub of ice cream, and 3 selections of DVDS from her classics collection. They argued for 10 minutes over what to watch, Gwen wanting to watch Casablanca, and Morgana wanting to watch something where everyone dies. They ended up settling on Morgana's choice of 'The Miracle Mile' simply because Morgana argued that _she_ was the one who needed comforting, and she wants to see death and destruction. Gwen at least has a 98% chance of getting the man she wants while Morgana has a mere 20%. Fifty percent went to Merlin remembering her, and 30% went to Merlin actually wanting to be with her because it's not a guarantee that he'll even want her even if he remembers.

...

It was impulsive. He doesn't exactly know why he did it, but he had the bloody thing in his pocket from when Gaius had given it to him and he forgot it there until he found them again upon wearing the pants he left it in. They had just left the movies, and he just... Suggested it to her. More like blurted it out. He didn't mean to. He honestly doesn't know what the hell he was thinking when he said it to her, but she said yes, and then she had kissed him, and instantly, a pair of green eyes invaded his vision and he closed his eyes against it and kissed Freya back as much as he could. Try as he might though, the image of the other girls face would not leave his mind.

He couldn't get Morgana out of his head. And as he sat in his car, staring out over the city lights he knew that the decision he made earlier that night, was his subconscious way of getting the green eyed girl out of his head.

He hates being like this. Sometimes, he'll realize a huge chunk of his memory is missing. And he'll be lost in silence, trying to remember, but never succeeding.

He spends the whole night sitting in his car and staring out into the night sky while he thought of what he did tonight. He wanted to feel happy, free, and like he has something to look forward to, but all he feels is emptiness, sadness, dread, and loneliness. And he hates it. He can't even force himself to feel anything remotely good.

And he thinks he knows the reason why.

...

She's with Arthur and Gwen at the office when they each received a text message from Gaius.

 _Meet inside Merlin's home in half an hour._

They exchanged confused looks while each ignoring the fact that Gaius had actually sent them a text. Not that it would be impossible for a man of his age to know how to text, but he always seemed like someone who preferred the old school way of communication like picking up the phone and calling. So they figured it must be something important.

Upon arriving, Gaius gave them somber looks. Morgana instantly felt her stomach sink.

Gwen was the first to speak, asking the old man quietly, "Is everything okay, Gaius?"

The old man shook his head and asked them to follow him into the living room, and that's why they're currently sitting on the couch inside Merlin's home.

"Where's Merlin?" Morgana asks tentatively.

"He's with Freya."

She instantly regrets asking, but nods anyway. "So why did you call us here?"

Gaius stares at them for a very long moment, his eyes avoiding Morgana's in particular. "You 3 have been the only constants in Merlin's life recently, which I'm very grateful for. You're all really good friends to him even if he doesn't admit it."

Confused glances are exchanged around the room. "What are you talking about?" Arthur asks confusedly.

Gaius sighs and points to the table in the center of the room, where hundreds of white envelopes were stacked neatly. "Freya had these sent in this morning, and asked me to send them out for her and Merlin."

Arthur takes one from the large stack and inspected it. Only a name was written in fancy bold lettering in the front.

 _Morgana Le Faye_

Arthur glances at Morgana and hands it to her. "It's got your name on it." He says before taking another envelope from the stack.

 _Guinevere Thomas_

Handing it to Gwen, he picks up a third one and sees his own name.

 _Arthur Pendragon_

"Gaius, what are these?" Gwen asks cautiously. Neither of them had even dared to open the envelopes after Gaius had mentioned Freya.

The old man sighs and leans forward, looking at them with a sad expression. "They're invitations."

"To what?" Arthur asks impatiently. All this pausing and sighing was slowing the process of them finding out what the bloody hell is going on.

Morgana's heart begins to sink. She thinks she knows exactly what the invitations are for.

"To Merlin and Freya's engagement party."

...

A/N: Hello again! So, this is the most chapters I've ever written for a fic and I have to say it's an accomplishment I'm proud of. Usually I get bored of writing something after 7 chapters of it, and then I end it abruptly and start writing something else. I know that's kind of an asshole thing to admit, but it's the truth. But fret not my fellow Mergana fans, I will finish this fic exactly the way I planned to finish it. Anyway, I want to apologize for the cliff hanger yet again. I know, I tend to have too many cliff hangers, but I promise you, the next one will be a good read. Also, do you guys think I kind of pushed the engagement between Freya and Merlin too quick?Review and let me know what you think of this chapter, please!

-McDiggin'It


	12. Chapter 12

Title: The Wrong Emotion

A/N: I am pleased to inform you that there will be a bittersweet Mergana moment in this chapter. I decided to cut back on the bloody teasing a little bit and give you all a taste of the sweetness that is Merlin and Morgana. But only a taste. Hope you all enjoy this one. Let me know!

-McDiggin'It

...

Chapter Twelve:

...

Upon entering the unfurnished flat, Arthur knew instantly that Morgana had taken the news of Merlin and Freya's engagement a lot harder than he had originally thought.

When Gaius had broken the news to them, Morgana was the first person they looked at. For a moment, Arthur had thought she was going to faint. Her face drained of all color, her eyes immediately began to form tears, and he's pretty sure she had stopped breathing for a few moments. And then she had stormed out of the house, practically sprinting towards her car and hightailing it out of there before they could stop her.

Gwen had gone to her house that same day to check and see if Morgana was alright. She hadn't told him much of what happened, but she had assured him that Morgana was okay.

Sighing heavily, he looks around the living room, eyes sweeping sympathetically over the mess. Clearly, she is not as okay as she says she is.

Among a bunch of moving boxes, are several chinese takeout boxes, pizza boxes, empty beer cans, half eaten ice cream cartons, and popcorn littering the home of his friend. If he didn't know better, he would've thought the flat belongs to a man.

"Morgana?" He calls cautiously through the foyer. He doesn't get an answer. He's about to call out again, but Gwen stops him as she comes up behind him and asks him to wait in the living room while she goes to check the bedroom. He nods, moving to sit on a single couch by the fireplace. At least it's warm.

Gwen opens the bedroom door quietly and peeks inside. It's dark, save for a little bit of sunlight shining through a crack by the window. She quickly moves to the window and pulls the curtains back. Light instantly spills into the room and she turns to find a large Queen sized bed in the corner, and a lump under the sheets and blankets.

She frowns, walking over to the lump and poking it fearfully.

"Is she alive?" Arthur asks from the doorway, nearly scaring the everloving crap out of Gwen. She doesn't answer as she pokes the lump again, this time taking a step back as the lump begins to move and groan. A few moments later, dark tangled hair emerges from beneath the blankets, and Gwen let's out a gasp as Morgana shakes her hair away from her face. Dark mascara smeared her cheeks, red puffy eyes, all evidence of the tears she had undoubtedly cried over the past 3 days.

"Whaaaat?" She groans, making a face as she blinks at her friends through squinted eyes.

"Oh dear." Arthur mutters from the doorway as he enters the room and closes the door behind him. "You don't look so good." He comments, giving Morgana the once over. She's still in her pajamas, looking like a bear coming out of hibernation... Well, if Bears had long dark hair and green eyes.

The girl snorts humorlessly as she lays back against her fluffy white pillows. "I don't feel so good either."

"Probably because you haven't gotten out of bed since I left you here." Gwen cuts in.

"I _did_ get out of bed!" Morgana protests, and Gwen raises a skeptical brow at her.

"Getting up to use the bathroom and occasionally binge eat everything in your refrigerator doesn't count."

Morgana opens her mouth to protest, then, realizing she got nothing, closes her mouth again.

Gwen sighs frustratedly. "Morgana, this has gone on long enough!" She scolds.

Morgana's lips quiver as she stares down at her sheets, "A day of staying in bed all day is nearly not enough." She mutters.

Gwen's face softens as she sits down by her friends legs. "That may be true, but it's been 3 days, Sweety."

Morgana groans again, this time louder than ever. "Does that mean I'm fired too?"

"No." Arthur answers with a comforting smile. "We informed Merlin that you're sick, and he asked us to let you know that he's giving you 2 whole days off to recover."

"How nice of him." Morgana says sarcastically, rolling her eyes as she sits up and looks around her incomplete bedroom to avoid the pitiful looks they were giving her.

"Look, we know you don't want to do anything, but we both think it's best for you to get out of the house for a little bit and do something to get your mind off of..." Gwen trails off, biting her lip. "Well, _you_ know what."

Morgana sniffles lightly and glances up at her friends. She's so grateful for them, always taking care of her, calling her at all hours even if she doesn't answer, and making sure she's alive. But she's mostly grateful that they haven't mentioned the large purple elephant she so desperately wishes didn't exist. "What did you both have in mind?"

Before Gwen could answer, Arthur chimes in quickly, "How about a little trip to the pub down the street?"

Gwen rolls her eyes at Arthur and looks at Morgana, "What he meant to suggest, was that we should go to a nice restaurant and-"

"No." Morgana shakes her head and looks at Arthur. "I want to go to the pub."

Gwen is surprised, but doesn't protest. If her friend needs a drink, then she'll make sure she gets her a bloody drink. "It's settled then... Pub it is. But first, you need to take a bath and put on something nice while Arthur and I clean up your mess of a living room, and after we eat whatever I can whip up from the remnants of your refrigerator, we'll go."

Morgana feels tears rising in her eyes and spilling down her cheeks as she smiles at her friends. "What would I ever do without you two?"

"Probably continue sleeping until your landlord finds you fading into the sheets." Arthur shrugs with a teasing smirk. A moment later, one of Morgana's pillows hits him in the face and they all begin to laugh, momentarily forgetting about Morgana's problem.

...

Merlin was angry. Furious really. He hadn't been able to sleep for the past 2 days because every time he would try, he'd get this burning feeling that he's forgetting to do something. He'd gotten up more than once in the middle of the night, pacing his room and trying to remember. It was like an itch he couldn't scratch, and it was frustrating.

It started when he was having a conversation with Arthur, and he mentioned Morgana being sick. The moment he heard those words, something he can't quite explain began to form in his chest, growing heavier and heavier with each passing minute. He couldn't tell what the hell it was, but he knows it has something to do with his assistant.

And now here he is, in his office, staring at Morgana's empty desk. For some reason, he felt the strong urge to go and see her. But he forces himself not to go anywhere. First of all, he's supposed to be working. Second, why should he go see her? She's not his to see. Freya is! And yet, not once did Freya cross his mind unless she was calling or texting him. And he feels horrible. Guilty. Like he's cheating even if he's not. It's all so confusing and he finds a headache growing rapidly in his skull. Sighing heavily, he ends up dialing Arthur's number and waiting impatiently for the other man to pick up.

"Merliiiin!" Arthur drawls loudly. "To what do I owe the pleasure of this call?" Obviously, the man is highly intoxicated.

"Where are you?" Merlin asks curiously. He could hear running water and-.

"Right now, I'm taking a leak." Arthur laughs.

Merlin huffs, rolling his eyes. "You're drunk, aren't you?"

"Yep." There is no hesitation in Arthur's voice. The man knows his tolerance levels.

"Where?"

There's a hiccup followed by a loud burp before Arthur replies, "I'm at the 'Men's Den', the pub we went to that other ni-"

"I know." Merlin interrupts as he gets up and grabs his coat. Clearly, he isn't going to get any work done what with the other girl invading his thoughts, so perhaps a drink is what he needs to get rid of it. "I'll be there in 15 minutes. I need a drink."

...

Morgana grins in satisfaction as she sets down her 6th shot of whiskey. She glances at Gwen, and the girl is giggling at Arthur as he tries to eat a couple of peanut shells. Luckily, Gwen stops him. Out of the 3 of them, Arthur was the hammered one.

He's absolutely unable to function, _she_ is just above tipsy, and Gwen is barely even close to being tipsy. But then again, she and Arthur are the ones who are really drinking. Gwen is just sipping on a Martini.

"Hey!" Arthur says suddenly, his eyes wide and his eyebrows raised as if remembering something. "Guess who called me while I was in the loo?"

Gwen and Morgana give him a questioning look, although they aren't really taking him seriously.

"You'll never guess!" Arthur laughs, bouncing around in his seat with a wide grin.

Gwen sighs and rolls her eyes at him, "Okay, we give up."

"But you didn't even try!" Arthur looks so disappointed, Gwen is almost tempted to just play his little game.

Morgana cuts in, having a feeling that this is going to take a while so she chides him, "Just humor us, Arthur."

He pouts, folding his arms before finally groaning, "Fine... It was-"

"Merlin?"

The blonde man is surprised at Gwen's ability to guess exactly who it was. "Yes! How did you know?"

"No. It's Merlin!" Gwen hisses, pointing a finger across the room where she sees a tall, pale figure in a dark coat, his blue eyes squinted as he searches the bar.

Both Morgana and Arthur's head snaps in the direction where Gwen is pointing and Arthur jumps up out of his seat as he calls the other man's name. "Merlin!"

Gwen laughs, shaking her head, but stops abruptly at the look on Morgana's face. Like the day Gaius had told them of Merlin and Freya's engagement party, Morgana's face has gone pale, and her eyes are wide as she stares across the room at Merlin. _This is not good_ , Gwen notes.

..

It takes a moment, but Merlin finally spots the blonde man by the bar over the sea of people crowding the pub. Making his way over, he keeps his head down, not wanting anyone to stop him for a dance or a conversation.

He raises his head as he nears the bar, then stops dead in his tracks when he sees two other people with Arthur. One of them, happens to be the reason he needs a drink, and she's staring right at him.

Again, the unfamiliar feelings grow inside his chest as he continues to stare at her staring at him.

Arthur stumbles up beside him and throws an arm around his shoulder as he leads them back to his seat beside the 2 girls. "So! What happened and why do you need a drink, mate?"

Merlin swallows hard, ignoring the questions as he turns his head slightly towards Gwen and smiles at her. What he's _really_ doing, is looking at the girl beside her with his peripherals. "Hello, Gwen." He greets, then turns to look at Morgana, and he swears, his heart skips a beat. He doesn't know why, but he knows it's not normal. "Morgana." He nods to her and she blinks rapidly at him as if realizing he was speaking to her.

"I have to go." She says so quickly, he has to take a moment to process exactly what she said. It seems, his brain doesn't need alcohol to be slow today. By the time he's done processing his thoughts, he realizes that Morgana has left her seat and is halfway across the bar, with Gwen hot on her heels.

Arthur blinks at him. "Wow... I've never met _anyone_ who could make not one, but _two_ girls run away from him in under a minute." He teases with a chuckle. "That's impressive, Merlin!" He raises a hand and holds it up for a high five.

"Piss off, clotpole." Merlin rolls his eyes as he turns and heads toward the direction of the door.

"What did _I_ do?" Arthur protests, then grabs his coat and follows Merlin to the door.

...

Merlin sees her standing at a curb with Gwen, her head in her hands as she shakes her head and says something to Gwen. He can't hear her, but he's pretty sure she's crying. He knows he doesn't do well with crying girls. He avoids them at all costs. But his feet move of their own accord, carrying him straight to the crying girl.

Gwen gives him a questioning look, but he could detect a bit of anger from her as well. "Is everything okay?" He asks tentatively, and from the corner of his eye, he sees Morgana's body go rigid. Clearly this has something to do with him.

"Everything is fine, Merlin." Gwen says quickly, then gives him a disapproving look like he'd just done something wrong.

"Are you sure?" He finally looks at Morgana again, and she's dropped her hands, but her head is still down and her hair is in her face. "She doesn't look okay."

At that, Morgana looks at him, and her eyes are red and full of anger. He takes a cautious step back, but doesn't get very far before she snaps at him. "What do you want, Merlin?!"

He's taken aback. _What did I do?!_ "I just wanted to know-"

"Well that's just it, _isn't_ it Merlin?" Morgana cuts him off. Gwen stays silent, watching her friend take a step towards the man. She sees Arthur stopping a few feet away and backtracking a few extra steps. She doesn't blame him. "You want to know things, but won't even try because you're too full of yourself!"

"What are you-" Merlin begins spluttering, wondering what the hell is happening, how it's happening, and why it's happening _to him_.

"No!" Morgana snaps at him with an accusing finger. "You do _not_ get to speak, move, or even _breathe_ until I'm done, you bloody idiot! God, I can't even _stand_ you right now!"

He feels like a child being chastised by his mother for doing something he wasn't supposed to be doing. And he's _so_ confused and lost. He glances at Gwen for help, but the girl only takes a step back and shakes her head. He glances at Arthur, but the bloody idiot is grinning drunkenly at him. Looking back at Morgana, she looks absolutely livid, although he sees a hint of pain and sadness in her eyes.

She shakes her head and pushes him back a little, too tired to try harder. "Do you have any idea how hard it's been for me these past couple of weeks? To spend every single day at the hospital, _waiting_ for you to wake up. And when you finally did, you didn't even remember me!" Tears sting in her eyes and cascade down her cheeks. She swipes angrily at them and glares at Merlin. She side-glances at Gwen, watching her friend slip away and go to Arthur, pulling him back towards the pub. It's just her and Merlin now. And though she still feels a bit buzzed from her drinks, her anger, frustrations, and pain overpowers it.

Merlin is looking confusedly at her, his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open. "I don't understand." Really, he doesn't. She's just his assistant, right? So why is she taking everything so personal? Better yet, what the hell is she talking about?

Morgana laughs humorlessly, shaking her head and looking down at her hands. "And maybe you never will." She turns to walk back into the bar and find Gwen and Arthur for a ride home, but a hand wraps around her wrist, pulling her back.

"Wait." 

She looks at him, her eyes wide and her mouth open as hope spreads across her chest. _Has he remembered something_?

He stares at her for a long moment, eyes searching hers for something he doesn't even know. "I- I don't- I can't remember." And he _can't_. He's wanted to remember everything since he awoke from his coma, but he hasn't. And right now, he wants to remember more than _ever_. 

Morgana's hopes deflate instantly, and she gently pulls her wrist from his fingers. "I don't expect you to... Not anymore."

She walks away, and though her heart screams at her to hold on, to wait, to not give up; her brain, the more rational part of her tells her it's probably time to let go.

...

Gaius sighs heavily as he watches his nephew lightly bang his own forehead into the dining table. The elder man feels slightly sympathetic of the young man as Freya talks animatedly on her phone to some such caterers about an engagement cake. _Like what the blue blazes is an engagement cake, and who the bloody hell does that?_

It's been 2 weeks since Merlin had walked into the living room and told him that he just did the most insane thing in his life, and proposed to Freya on impulse.

The old man remembers nearly choking on the part of the tea that he hadn't spewed in Merlin's face at the news.

~•~•~

"What the bloody hell did you just say?"

Merlin had given the old man an unamused look as he took some paper towels and dried his face off. "I said I kind of proposed to Freya last night."

Gaius stared at the young man for a long while before snapping out of his daze. "You can't kind of propose to someone, Merlin. You either did, or you didn't."

"Look, I just suggested that we get married, and she said yes, alright?!" Merlin snaps in frustration.

The elder man cocked his head to the side and observed his nephews body language. "You don't look very happy about it."

Merlin sighed, shook his head and leaned forward onto the counter. "I don't know, Gaius... I just- I'm so lost right now. It's like I know that there's something I'm missing, I know that I want to find whatever that is, but I don't know _what_ it is... And I thought that maybe it was Freya, so-"

"So you proposed to her." Gaius finished for him.

Merlin nodded and looked at his uncle desperately, tears collecting in his eyes. "I _hate_ feeling like this. Like I'm so close to figuring it out, and yet I'm _still_ so very far... Still empty."

"It's because you don't remember." Gaius told him honestly.

"Yeah well, my doctors said that some things weren't meant to be remembered."

Gaius quirked an eyebrow at Merlin. "And which doctor told you this?"

The younger man shrugged, "I can't remember which one Freya told me."

This was news to the old man. "Freya told you?"

"Yes. She said my doctor told her to try and convince me to stop trying to remember things because it could damage my ability to think at all."

Interesting. Gaius stared at his nephew, wondering how clueless he could be. "And when did she tell you this?"

Merlin shrugged again, "A few weeks ago... Said she spoke to my doctor because she wanted to find out my progress with the whole memory loss thing or something."

 _He really is clueless_. Gaius sighed heavily and shook his head. "So you stopped trying a few weeks ago, because Freya told you to?"

Merlin nodded, "I know you don't like really like her like Arthur, Gwen, and Morgana obviously don't, but Freya wouldn't lie to me about something so serious... And _I_ think It makes sense that overthinking might cause damage to my brain."

 _So. Very. Clueless._ Gaius almost felt sorry for him. Perhaps the accident had really damaged more than just memories.

"Do you really think that proposing to Freya will take away this emptiness you feel?"

Merlin didn't answer for a long time. When he finally did, he looked so tired, his age not even matching the weariness in his features. "No... Yes." He shook his head harshly in frustration. "I don't even know...But I can't do anything about it now. She's already planning an engagement party."

Gaius had went to protest, but Merlin's phone had begun blaring it's ringtone, "It's Freya." Merlin sighed, and their conversation ended there.

~•~•~

Gaius ponders Merlin's answer to his question. Merlin's first answer was 'No'. His mind had subconsciously pushed out the first thing he thought of the question, and that's all Gaius needed to hear to know that Merlin is not in love with Freya. If he was, there would have been no hesitation, and his first answer would've been yes.

Gaius has nothing against Freya. She's nice enough if you're Merlin or related to Merlin, but she's a little rude and kind of demanding. He wasn't about to just sit around and let his nephew marry someone he didn't really love.

Picking up his phone, he dials Guinevere and waits patiently for an answer.

"Hello?" The girl drawls.

"Guinevere!" He greets with a smile. The girl is sweet and very polite.

"Hello, Gaius! How are you?"

"I'm fine, dear. And yourself?"

"I'm doing good." The girl answers.

"Good, good. Now that we've got the basics out of the way, I wanted to speak to you and Arthur about something. Is it possible for you both to stop by tonight around 6?"

There's a pause before she answers like she's wondering exactly why he's asking for just her and Arthur. "Of course! Should we bring anything?"

"Just yourselves, dear... And don't tell Morgana."

...

"It's Freya."

Morgana looks curiously at her friend as they sit down to have lunch together. "What?"

" _She's_ the problem. I don't know what it is she's doing or telling him, but _she's_ the reason Merlin won't even _try_ to remember." Gwen says lowly. She glances past Morgana and to Merlin's desk, seeing the blue eyed man look up and catch her eye before looking away quickly.

"And how do you know this?" Morgana questions curiously.

Gwen shrugs, "Little birdie told me."

Morgana sighs tiredly and looks at her food, poking at it as her appetite quickly diminishes. "It doesn't even matter anymore, Gwen."

Gwen blinks at Morgana, eyes wide as she lays her plastic utensils down. "You're not giving up, are you?"

Morgana stays silent, still poking her food.

"Are you?" Gwen questions again. Again, no answer. The olive skinned girl widens her eyes as she reaches forward and takes Morgana's pale hand in hers. "Morgana, you can't."

"And why not?" Morgana asks defensively. "It's already clear what Merlin wants, and it's definitely _not_ remembering me."

"But that's just it!" Gwen protests, refusing to drop the topic until it's resolved. "He doesn't remember, Morgana... If he did, he would be with you in a heartbeat."

"And how would you know that?" Morgana hisses angrily.

There's a small pause, and then Gwen gives her friend a small smile, "Because I've seen how he used to look at you before he forgot. I saw the way he talked to you, the way he acted around you, the look on his face as you walked away with Arthur after he saved you from drowning, the way he looked like he hadn't slept all night on the morning after, and he tracked me down and asked how you were doing. I saw those roses he sent you, and I knew then how much he cares about you... And I also saw the way you looked at him, defended him, cared for him even when you wouldn't admit it. I saw how happy you looked the morning you found out that Merlin sent you roses. And I saw how finding out he forgot about you, took a toll on you... And you never gave up."

Morgana has tears in her eyes, and she quickly wipes them away before they could fall. Everything Gwen is saying hits home with her. But she really has no choice here. "Freya is his fiancée." She points out dejectedly.

Gwen shakes her head, "Not _yet_ she isn't.. Well, at least not publicly. The engagement party is tomorrow, Morgana."

Morgana refrains from groaning out loud at the reminder, mindful of the fact that Merlin is right on the other side of a single double-paned glass. "That doesn't exactly make me _feel_ better." She says instead.

Gwen chuckles and stabs her fork into a cherry tomato from her salad. "Do you love Merlin?" She asks before popping the red fruit in her mouth and chewing.

Morgana raises an eyebrow at her friend, challenging her to push more buttons. "It doesn't matter." She says instead.

Gwen rolls her eyes at that, swallowing her food as she waves a hand at her friend. "Answer the question, Morgana. Do. You. Love. Merlin?"

A single traitorous tear escapes her eye and she can't lie anymore as she looks through the glass towards the subject of their discussion. Without further hesitation, she looks back at her bestfriend and nods. "With everything left in me."

Gwen smiles satisfactorily. "Good. Because we have a plan."

Morgana gives her an alarmed and questioning look, "A plan?" She asks incredulously. "For what? And who is ' _we_ '?"

"' _We_ ', is Gaius, Arthur, and I."

Morgana stares incredulously at her friend. "Wait, what?"

"Yes, Morgana. We've been conspiring behind your back since yesterday." Gwen snorts at the look on Morgana's face.

"Conspiring _what_ exactly?"

Gwen nods towards Merlin as he gets up from his desk and heads their way. She presses a finger to her lips and leans over to whisper in Morgana's ear just as Merlin appears at the doorway and Morgana looks at him with wide eyes.

"We're getting you your man back."

...

A/N: Exciting chapter coming up, if you must know. Hope you liked this one. Let me know! Love you all!

-McDiggin'It


	13. Chapter 13

Title: The Wrong Emotion

A/N: I think this will be my best and worst chapter yet. Whatever that means. It has the most Mergana so far, but I'm not sure I did justice to the scene I wanted to write. But I hope you all like it anyway.

-McDiggin'It

Chapter Thirteen:

...

Morgana bites her lip nervously as she pulls on the edge of her tight dress. The red one she had worn to the Winter Ball pales in comparison to the green one she has on now.

It's tighter than tight, shorter than short, and almost scandalous if it weren't for the modest round neckline and long sleeves. It covers her chest, save for a little bit of cleavage peaking over the top. The dress sleeves are lacy and transparent with dark floral designs that made the paleness of her skin, and the greens of her eyes stand out.

"Are you all sure I look okay?" Morgana asks, hesitance thick in her voice.

Gaius, Gwen, and Arthur all nod approvingly.

"You look like you belong on a modeling line... Not in Merlin's office." Gaius comments with a wide grin and the the other 2 occupants of the room nod in agreement.

"You look amazing, Morgana." Arthur says honestly. He smiles widely at her, and his thoughts transport him to the ballroom a few months ago when he first caught sight of Morgana. At the time, he had felt his insides squirm as he eyed her. He wanted her to be his, and he chuckles at the fact that he had actually thought they would last.

Morgana was so easy to be with, she was polite, radiant, beautiful, and simply amazing. Arthur turns his head to his left where Gwen is currently standing and smiling brightly at Morgana.

He feels his heartstrings being yanked into his stomach as he stares at her mouth. What he felt for Morgana was a simple attraction compared to what he feels for this girl. In the short time he has known Gwen, he's felt emotions he had only ever seen in old black and white romantic films. The kind you watch on VCR. His chest aches with longing, and a bitter feeling spreads in his stomach at the knowledge that she would never see him in the way he sees her.

Someone like her would never return his feelings, and that knowledge is like a dagger being plunged into his chest, and then twisted in a way that ensures he'll be in pain for a _very_ long time.

She looks at him, and Arthur quickly looks away towards Morgana. Clearing his throat, he smiles at his friend and gives her a teasing look. "Are you ready to get that idiot of yours back?"

Morgana laughs, nodding enthusiastically. "Definitely."

She eyes the trio she's become so close to, and smiles. Gaius is in a simple black suit and red tie. Nothing fancy, but Morgana thinks he's very handsome and looks much younger than he really is with his hair pulled back into a neatly combed pony tail. Arthur on the other hand, looks absolutely comfortable and handsome in his black and white formal and classy tux and bow tie. Then she looks at Gwen, and she feels her heart warm at the sight of her beautiful bestfriend. Gwen, although modest in her choice of dress, looked absolutely stunning. She's in a dark blue silk dress that came up just below her knees, hugged her small waist, and fitted around her chest perfectly, then ended with a single strap over her right shoulder, leaving her left shoulder bare. Morgana is sure Arthur is about ready to pounce on the girl and lay one on her.

Smiling at the olive skinned girl, Morgana gives her a nod at Gwen's 'are-you-okay' look. Gwen has become like a sister to her, always taking care of her, looking out for her, always available to listen when she needs to say something, and always knows what to say. To say that they've been through a lot together, is an understatement. Morgana feels a little sad though at the realization that she had been so consumed in her grief over Merlin's memory loss, that she herself hadn't even asked Gwen if she were okay. With that thought in mind, she makes a mental note to talk to Gwen about her feelings for Arthur, and hopefully finally get them to go out on a date or something.

Lord knows, everyone sees the obvious attraction between the two, except them.

...

She's so nervous, she nearly backs out of their plan more than once. But her 3 allies wouldn't even let her get 2 steps back towards her car.

"You can do this, Morgana." Gwen tells her seriously. "I _know_ our plan will work."

Morgana's hesitance weakens at the confidence in her best friends eyes. Taking a deep breath, she nods slowly, and takes a few more deep breaths. "Right."

"You can't back out now, Morgana." Gwen smiles teasingly as they continue towards the entrance of the 5-star hotel that Freya has deemed worthy of her and Merlin's engagement party. "It's all or nothing."

Arthur and Gaius are walking a little ways ahead of them, talking about the chilly weather and how it seems extra cold today. Morgana could distinctly hear Arthur mention how it must just be extra cold to them because of what's about to go down tonight.

Morgana bites her lip. She really doesn't want to be a 'home-wrecker', but Freya has pretty much left her no choice. It's one thing to convince Merlin that he wants to be with her, but she had overstepped the boundaries and deliberately _lied_ to Merlin, putting false thoughts into his head. They don't know what else the girl has lied about, but they're all sure it's for her own selfish reasons. That's where Morgana is drawing the line.

"How're you feeling?" Gwen asks as they enter the hotel lobby and look around for the private room where the party will be held.

Morgana shrugs, hoping her nervousness isn't evident on her face. "I don't know. Right now, I'm just hoping this doesn't blow up in our faces."

Gwen rolls her eyes half seriously, "It'll be fine."

"And if it _won't_ be fine?" Morgana asks skeptically.

It's Gwen's turn to shrug then, "Then at least you know you tried rather than spend the rest of your life wondering what would've happened if you hadn't just sat back and watched that deceiving bitch steal your man."

Morgana laughs, and then replaces it with a sad smile, "He's not really my man, you know?"

"Not yet, at least. And if things go our way, he _will_ be by the end of the night."

"I'm sure he'll be furious with Freya for lying to him, but do you really think it's going to be enough for him to break off the engagement?" Morgana asks in a low tone as they see Arthur and Gaius turn by some double doors to wait for them.

Gwen nods, "If there's one thing I've realized about Merlin, it's that he doesn't like being lied to. Especially by the woman he believes to be the so-called 'love of his life'. I mean, for all we know, everything Freya has told Merlin are probably all lies."

"This may be true, but what if Freya's not the only one he'll be angry with?" She gives Gwen a pointed look. "I kind of lied to him too."

Gwen looks questioningly at her. "How so?"

"Gwen, I had plenty of times to tell him how I feel about him. But I was too scared that him not remembering who I was, would make him feel uncomfortable... And then on top of that, his doctor _did_ tell us not to push him into remembering anything, so I never really tried."

"But you had his best interests at heart. It was his health over your feelings for him."

"But I technically still _lied_ to him."

"If you're stalling, it's not going to work. We're doing this, Morgana. No backing out now."

"I'm not stalling" Morgana replies sternly. "Hiding the truth is the same as lying to him."

Arthur and Gaius smile at them as they come to a halt at the double doors. "Not necessarily in this case." Arthur cuts in. "We just kind of sat by and waited for him to remember on his own like the doctor told us to do. But now we're doing something about it, doctors orders be damned." He shrugs dismissively.

The others nod in agreement.

"Now who's ready for this mission?" Gaius grins playfully. "It's about time we stop taking our time and start taking action."

Gwen watches Morgana take a deep breath as Arthur pushes the double doors open. She smiles at the confident look Morgana puts on as she sweeps into the room in her classic Morgana-like fashion. Gwen looks over to Arthur and smiles as he gives _her_ a pointed look and holds his hand out to her.

"Shall we?" The handsome blonde man grins lopsidedly at her, and almost instantly, her insides melt. She takes his hand without hesitation and nods.

"Certainly."

...

The room is practically covered in pink glittery things. _Too_ pink in Morgana's opinion. It looked like a giant troll had been sniffing a whole truck load of pink glitter and then sneezed everywhere in the room. There were quite a lot of people in the room. It looks like Freya sent out invitations to half of London.

"Well," Arthur begins loudly, "I think we can all agree that Merlin had no choice in the motif, _or_ the guest list." He snorts as the others nod and looks at an ice sculpture of what looked remarkably like Merlin and Freya in the middle of dancing amidst the center of the room. "This whole thing looks absolutely horrid. And the people! I'd hate to see what the wedding would look like." Arthur shudders visibly then, realizing what he had just said, looks at Morgana apologetically. "But luckily there won't be one after tonight." He says reassuringly.

"Yes, perhaps Freya had posted an ad of the party on Craigslist. I won't be surprised if Merlin has nightmares about this for the rest of his life." Gaius says.

Arthur almost felt sorry for Merlin. _Almost_. "Anyone see him yet?" He whispers over to the girls.

"No. But I see Freya." Morgana says in a barely disguised tone of disgust as she nods towards the front.

The trio all stare at Freya as she greets the guests with a painfully cheerful smile.

"Where's Merlin?" Gaius asks curiously.

The others all shrug, before Arthur replies, "Maybe he's in the loo, trying to hide. I know _I_ would if this were my engagement party." They turn their heads from left to right, sweeping over the room with their eyes, trying to spot the man they're really there for.

"Morgana!" Four heads turn to see Freya bounding towards them with a sickeningly sweet smile. "I'm so glad you could make it!" She says It as if she and Morgana were besties, then looks at the other 3. "All of you." She adds, then looks at Morgana and pulls her into a hug. "Thanks for coming."

The moment Freya's lips touched her cheek in an obviously fake greeting, Morgana's jaw clenches. _The nerve of this cow! How dare she try and rub it in that she's engaged to Merlin?_

"Wouldn't miss this for the world." Morgana replies monotonously. She's not talking about the party, of course.

Gwen watches the exchange between Morgana and Freya, smiling as Morgana's eyes turn into a dark green color. Anger and determination is written all over the green eyed girls face as she gently takes Freya's shoulders and pushes her back at arms length. Freya's face is that of surprise at the large smile on Morgana's face.

"Well, come." Freya says to the four of them. "I'll show you to your assigned seats."

Of course, Freya assigned for Morgana to sit beside her. Gwen is seated beside Morgana, and then Arthur is seated beside Gwen while Gaius is in the seat beside Merlin's.

Morgana feels a nudge at her side, turning her head to look questioningly at Gwen, who nods towards the double doors. Merlin has just entered, wearing a black tux, his mouth set in a frown.

"Baby!" Freya squeals in delight, getting up and taking off towards the man.

Morgana rolls her eyes and looks at Gwen. "Isn't he supposed to be here early?"

Gwen shrugs, "Yes, but it looks to me like he doesn't want to be here at all."

"I really don't blame him." Arthur leans over to whisper. "I don't think Merlin has ever even _seen_ this many people in his entire life."

As Freya pulls Merlin to their table, Morgana looks down at her dress, feeling self conscious about herself. But then Gwen is nudging her again, and this time, she looks directly towards Merlin. Her breath hitches in her throat as their eyes meet, and she feels her heart actually stop at the look Merlin has on his face.

His eyes are wide, his mouth is slightly open, and his pale cheeks are turning into an adorable pink color that makes her own face grow warm. As he takes his seat, Morgana gives him a small smile. He returns it, although his face looks a bit stiff like he's forgotten how to smile.

"We're doing this in 15 minutes," Gwen whispers from her right. Morgana finally looks away from Merlin to nod at her best friend. "Be ready to move in 10."

...

In about 2 minutes, Arthur will pretend to be drunk and throw himself on the table in front of Merlin and Freya, and that gives her the chance to pull Merlin aside and ask to speak with him. She's bloody nervous, but only because she's not sure Freya will admit to anything. The girl may be evil, but she's not stupid. Freya plays a huge part in their plan, and that's where Gwen comes in.

Taking a deep breath, she turns her head to look at Arthur and gives him a nod. Arthur nods back, grabbing his champagne flute and downing its contents before standing up and kicking his seat back. Several people close to him turn their heads to watch him as he stumbles towards the couple in the center of the room. Without warning, he pushes himself away from the wall behind them and launches himself onto the table between Merlin and Freya, startling the two.

"Arthur, what on earth are you doing?" Merlin asks incredulously. Freya scoots her seat back, leaning over Arthur's form and scrutinizing him.

"Arthur?" She asks cautiously, seeing that Arthur's eyes are closed. "Are you drunk-"

"Purple is a beautiful color!" Arthur screams at the top of his lungs, drawing everyone's attention to him.

Morgana hides a smile as she slips out of her seat, crossing behind Freya, Arthur, and stopping briefly behind Merlin. She sees him turn his eyes to her, and she bites her lip, leaning towards him and whispering into his ear while Arthur begins taking Freya's shoulders and shaking her while screaming that purple is the greatest color in the world, and cats should be purple. Morgana would've laughed if she weren't so close to Merlin. "Meet me outside by the pool in 5 minutes." Her hand is on his shoulder as she pulls away and looks at him intensely. "Don't be late." She waits no longer as she hurries to the door in search of the hotel pool, hips swaying daintily.

Merlin's eyebrows furrow in confusion as he turns to watch the green eyed girl walk away from him. His chest tightens at the sight, and his body warms as he watches her hips sway sensually, as if her body were beckoning to him. He groans lightly, closing his eyes for a moment before turning his head away. He sees Arthur sitting on the table, eating from Freya's plate and talking a mile a minute as Freya's eyes nearly pop out of their sockets in anger. It was almost funny.

Glancing quickly at the door, he gets up and leans over to tell Gaius that he's stepping outside for some fresh air. His uncle nods, smiling at him. Merlin momentarily wonders what the old man is hiding from him. Buttoning his tux, Merlin slips away and goes to the doors, in search of the green eyed girl.

He tries a few doors before he finally finds the right one that leads him to the outdoor pool behind the hotel. He sees her, standing at the edge of the pool with her arms folded across her chest.

He stands there for a few minutes, staring at her and wondering what it was about her that he couldn't remember. His jaw clenches as a cold draft of wind blows across his face, and he sees the girl shiver as she glances up into the night sky. Finally, he walks over to her and stops a few feet away from her.

"It's unusually cold tonight." Morgana mumbles.

Merlin raises his head to look up at the dark starry sky as well, Adam's apple bobbing as he swallows thickly. He doesn't know why, but he's suddenly nervous. "It is." He manages to say. He could see her turning to look at him from his peripherals, and he sighs, lowering his head so he's looking at her.

Morgana drops her hands to her sides and fiddles with her dress. "Arthur isn't drunk." She tells Merlin.

He raises an eyebrow at her, "I'll have to disagree with you on that-"

"The whole thing was staged." She waits for a reaction, but there's none. "Arthur was just a distraction so I could get you to come outside with me without Freya noticing."

Merlin frowns, his blue eyes barely visible as he squints at her. "Why?"

She bites her lip and looks at the pool. It's so cold, she could see little icicles forming inside the pale blue water. "Because I wanted to try one last time."

He's confused by that. "Try what?"

She takes a step towards him and narrows her eyes at him. "To help you remember."

He sighs heavily, looking away and towards the pool. "We've been over this before. I really shouldn't be trying to remember anything."

"Freya lied to you." Morgana says sternly, her eyes searching his for a reaction.

Merlin's brows furrow at the girl. "What?"

"About the doctors telling her to ask you to stop trying to remember... About who made those trays of sushi... About you 2 being absolutely in love." She waits for him to say something. He shakes his head.

"Why would she lie to me?" He asks skeptically, although he believes her about the sushi trays.

"Because she wants to be with you of course. I don't blame her if she wants you, but lying to you was not the right way to do it."

Merlin shakes his head again, taking a step forward. "Why should I believe you?"

Morgana scoffs, shaking her head and narrowing her eyes at him. "She's told you that you two were madly in love, right?"

Merlin nods slowly in confirmation.

Morgana takes a step forward. "And how do you feel about that?"

He doesn't answer, still staring at her. She takes another step towards him, and asks, "Do you really believe in your heart that you truly love Freya with everything in you?"

Again, he doesn't answer, and she takes another step. Her heart rate speeds up, and hope begins to bubble up inside her. "If she were telling the truth, you would've answered by now."

She takes another step, putting her directly in front of him. "Are you in love with Freya?" She holds her breath in anticipation and bites her lip. Merlin's eyes flicker from her green ones, to her lips, and back up.

"I- I don't... I mean, I- Freya had already told me last night that you had feelings for me. Why should I believe that _she's_ the one who's lying to me? How do I know it's not _you_ who's lying?"

"You're avoiding my question, Merlin." Morgana wishes he would just answer the damned question that's been gnawing into her very soul, threatening to drive her insane.

"And you're avoiding mine, Morgana." He deadpans, and then looks intensely at her. He swallows. Hard. "Is it true?"

"Is _what_ true?" She knows what he's referring to, but she wants him to ask her directly.

"Do you have feelings for me?" He looks impatient, as if he's been wondering it for a while.

Morgana is silent for a few long moments before nodding. "I suppose I never told you about how I feel about you." She avoids his eyes and continues to fidget with her fingers.

He stares at her, mouth opening slowly so she could see his every quickening breath. "And how do you feel about me?"

She bites her lip and takes a half step closer to him, her emerald eyes boring into his sapphire ones. With shaky hands, she takes his right hand between hers and places it on her chest above the place where her heart is beating rapidly. She stares into his eyes, taking a deep breath and finally answering him. "Do you feel how fast my heart is beating right now?" She doesn't give him time to answer, but she waits for him to acknowledge he understands what she's conveying. The flash of surprise in his blue eyes is enough for her as she continues. "It only beats like that when I'm near you... Whenever you're close by, it hurts." She pauses, lips quirking at remembering him saying the exact same words to her a few weeks ago. It seems like only yesterday, and yet it feels like years ago when he had said those words to her and broke her heart when he walked away, leaving her alone outside in the cold. "It hurts because I don't know whether you'll ever remember me again. I don't know whether you'll remember how you laid my hand over your chest and told me the exact same thing I just told you."

"I don't..." He trails off, shaking his head slowly and sighing. "I can't remember." Morgana's hands slowly let go of his and taking a step back.

"Well, I can... I can remember how I felt about you since that night... And how I think you felt about me before the accident happened."

His face is the picture of confusion and wonder. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Morgana nods, "I know... I'll tell you everything in a bit. But I want you to understand why I never told you anything after that very first try when you woke up."

He nods for her to continue, eager to understand, but not entirely sure he will. He doesn't remember a single thing about Morgana, so hearing about it is like someone telling him a story of something that happened to someone else, rather than to himself.

"When I found out that you didn't remember me, I was reluctant to try and tell you about anything that happened between us. I was hoping you'd remember on your own and... I don't know, I guess talk to me about it. But you never did. And I didn't want to force you into remembering anything you didn't really seem to want to remember in the first place... And it hurt me everyday that you didn't say my name the way you used to."

Merlin blinks at her, "Not once did it ever cross your mind that maybe I just didn't really have a clue what I forgot and maybe I was just frustrated by all the confusions?"

"Of course it crossed my mind!" Tears are spilling down her cheeks as she tries to glare at him. Tries to show him how much pain this causes her. "Which is the more reason why I never told you! Telling you isn't going to change anything because you'd just believe whatever lies Freya told you and whatever else your mind had conjured! And what good would that be to you? You'd just get even more confused!" She's not angry, just frustrated.

"You don't know what's been going on in my head, Morgana!"

She grimaces at the way he says her name... Like he really doesn't know her. So unfamiliar, so full of confusion, and lacking the emotion she used to hear from him when he'd call her name.

"I just can't remember." He mutters softly.

Morgana nods, smiling sadly at him. "Then I'll tell you." Turning away she looks down at the pool and begins to tell him what she's been reluctant to tell him for a while. "When you first hired me, I didn't really want the job... I mean I did, but I didn't want to work for you."

Merlin stares incredulously at her. "I don't even know how to respond to that."

"I know. But it's the truth. For some time, I had convinced myself that I hated you. I loathed working for you because of how you treated me."

"How did I treat you?"

Morgana smiles at the memory of herself trying not to strangle her boss on a daily basis. "Believe it or not, you were an arsehole 60% of the time, and a complete stranger the remaining 40%. I barely knew what to expect from you because of your odd bipolar behavior."

Merlin wasn't sure how he feels about this news. He knows he has issues with trusting people, but he didn't think he had any noticeably horrible behavior, especially towards his co workers.

"And so I decided that I was never going to like you... Until a few weeks ago when you began to act differently. You were less frustrating, less rude, and less infuriating. You became this whole new person, and I slowly began to warm up to you. You were still as confusing as ever, but I began to understand you a little better after you told me about your parents."

Merlin's eyes widen in surprise at that. He had never _ever_ talked about his parents. Not even to Freya, or even Gaius who already knows about his parents. _Why did I tell Morgana?_ He wonders.

As if reading his mind, Morgana continues to explain, "You told me some things about yourself, and in exchange, I told you a little about myself-"

"What else did I tell you?" Merlin asks skeptically.

Morgana smiles, knowing he's probably wondering why he would tell her of all people about something so personal to him. "A few things... You don't have a favorite color. You don't have a favorite sport because you don't have time for such things, but you do enjoy swimming every now and then. On your 5th birthday party, you didn't know anyone except your parents and your uncle, and the only fun thing that happened to you that night, was a bedtime story from your mother and getting tucked in by your father. You, the great Merlin Emrys, fears no man or machine, and yet you're deathly afraid of bees..." She pauses to watch the wide eyed look on Merlin's face, knowing that he had never told anyone about that, save for Gaius. "Because you're allergic to the venom inside the bee stings. You wear a chain around your neck, that lists your medical information." Merlin looks down at his chest as if verifying that she's right.

And-" she trails off, looking at Merlin with sad eyes. "You blame yourself for your parents deaths."

Merlin inhales sharply, his jaw clenching as tears began to sting in his eyes. Everything she's told him is a fact. And yet, he can't understand why he had told her about things he would _never_ tell anyone. "Why would I tell you those things?" He asks in a low tone.

"Because deep inside, you felt something for me that you have never felt for anyone else."

He stares at her, not entirely sure about that. "Did _you_ love me?"

Morgana is surprised by his question, but quickly recovers, staring directly at him. "Despite my better judgement, yes."

"Your better judgement?"

She laughs humorlessly, "Merlin, you weren't exactly the easiest person to love... You were the most confusing and infuriating man I've _ever_ met. You change moods every 5 minutes, and you always expected me to automatically know what you're thinking at any given time of day..." Her face softens as she smiles sadly at him. "But despite all of that, yes. I loved you... And I _still_ do."

His chest aches at the sight of tears in her eyes. He desperately wants to lean forward and wipe them away, but he stops himself. "Did _I_ love you?"

Morgana takes a step towards him and gives him a small smile. "I think you're the only one who knows the answer to that question."

She's right, of course. He knows in his heart that he wouldn't tell anyone about those things unless he trusted that person with his life. He just can't remember. He momentarily wonders just how much this girl had meant to him. "There's still something I don't get." He tells her, then looks at her with a questioning look. "Why weren't we together?"

Morgana smiles sadly at him, "Because I was with Arthur at the time, and you were going to sell Camelot stocks."

He gives her a disbelieving look, "That's ridiculous... Why would I sell my own company?"

Morgana shrugs, "That's what I had been asking you when you told me... But that ended abruptly with Arthur catching us in your office."

"Were we-"

"Kissing."

Merlin's mind races, trying to find the memories she's talking about, and still, nothing. A headache is beginning to set in though, and he remembers those all too well. His breathing speeds up, his head spins, and he automatically takes a step back, followed by another, and another. "I- I- I- Freya is probably looking for me."

As if on cue, the doors to the hotel slam open, an irate Freya standing there about 25 feet away. "What the bloody hell are you doing with my husband, you tramp!" The girl screeches unattractively.

Morgana's jaw clenches, even as she sees Gwen and Arthur coming up behind the deceiving bitch who's been betraying Merlin this whole time. "He's not your husband yet, you lying little sack of shit!" She deadpans, seeing Freya scoff as she begins to walk towards her and Merlin.

"I don't know what you're talking about, but I didn't lie to Merlin, or _anyone_!"

Morgana wanted to throat punch the girl. She could see Arthur and Gwen following behind Freya. Morgana glances towards Gwen, and almost immediately gets the nod of confirmation she needed. It's done. Gwen got the evidence they needed, so everything they assumed about Freya is true. From her peripherals, she sees Merlin's utterly confused look, staring between her and Freya.

"Don't fucking lie to us! Gwen already has evidence of your betrayal!"

Freya stops abruptly, eyes widening as she glances towards the olive skinned girl. "What are you talking about?"

Gwen smiles triumphantly and pulls a small camcorder from her little purse. "Documented our little conversation just a few minutes ago." She smiles in obvious mock sweetness.

The shock on Freya's face is phenomenal. "You bitch!" She turns back to Morgana, eyes wide and filled with angry tears, probably at the realization that after Merlin sees what's on the camcorder, he won't be so forgiving. Anger bubbles up in her veins as she marches towards the girl that has been trying to steal Merlin from her. "I'm going to rip your face off!" Freya screams, bounding towards the girl.

Morgana sees red as Freya comes closer and closer to her with each step. "Bring it, bitch!" She launches herself towards the other girl, her hands curling around Freya's neck, and pulling her face down as she lifts her knee and connects it harshly with Freya's face. There's an audible crack as Morgana lets go of Freya and takes a step back to see the damage she'd done.

"You broke my nose!" Freya screamed a moment later, raising her head up so Morgana was able to see the blood spewing out of the other girls nose like a faucet.

"That was kind of the point, you stupid bitch!"

Merlin's eyes are wide as he watches the girls fighting. Over him. He feels a clap on his back and turns to find Arthur chuckling at the scene. "Shouldn't we be stopping this?"

"Nah." Arthur laughs a little as Morgana and Freya start pulling strands of hair, Morgana getting the upper hand as she practically drags Freya by the hair and throws her a little onto the ground. "They're fine!" He's glad Morgana is not his girlfriend anymore. He'd hate to have to go through any of that.

"It was bound to happen at some point." Gwen pipes up from beside Arthur.

Merlin sighs frustratedly as he looks back to the fighting girls, clawing at each other, punching, pulling scratching, and trying to damage the other as much as possible. "I can't condone this!" He snaps at the man and woman beside him. "Freya is still my fiancé, and Morgana is still my assistant." As soon as the words left his mouth, the two girls start tumbling backwards and straight into the icy cold pool.

Moments later, a spluttering, shivering Freya emerges, breaking the surface and swimming towards the edge of the pool, blood still pouring out her nose. Morgana doesn't resurface.

The smile on Arthur's face disappears as he takes a step towards the pool, ready to dive in and save his friend, but Gwen stops him with a hand on his shoulder. "Wait."

Arthur looks confusedly at her, "She can't swim, remember?" He reminds her frantically, but Gwen's eyes are on Merlin. Following her line of sight, Arthur sees Merlin, completely frozen in place, eyes wide, mouth open as his chest heaves up and down.

Fear. It's written all over Merlin's face.

Although he's not the one to fall inside the pool, Merlin feels like someone had just thrown him in it, shocking his entire being. A sharp pain threatens to split his head open as images and feelings begin to fill his head and heart. Rapidly, the images flash by in his vision and his brain and heart throbs with memories and feelings he didn't know he had. Clutching his head, memory after memory fill his brain, each one more heart wrenching than the last.

Emerald eyes, long dark hair, lavender scent, a beautiful smile, a familiar glare, pencils, pencil sharpeners, bees, jet planes, secrets revealed, frozen lake, red scarf, red roses, red dress, pale skin, a raging desire exploding in the pit of his stomach, red lips, a fiery kiss, anger, frustration, pain, longing, heartache, heart break, a desire to leave the company and start a new life, moving on because he cares too much, feels too much, another kiss with passion levels out of this world, and he realizes, he loves her too much.

The overwhelmed glaze over Merlin's eyes disappear, replaced with realization, understanding, and shock. His eyes widen as he realizes that the girl he had forgotten, the girl he had felt so much for, _feels_ so much for, is still underwater. The only word that breaks through his jumbled thoughts, her name.

"Morgana!"

...

A/N: So, I know you all hate these bloody cliffhangers, but at least the Mergana part was there, right? I'll try to update soon. Reviews are love! Love me, dammit! Jk. But please let me know what you all think. It's kind of nerve wracking not knowing what people really think of this fic. I kind of want to write more Mergana fics, but I feel like not many people want to read those anymore. It makes me sad.

-McDiggin'It


	14. Chapter 14

Title: The Wrong Emotion

A/N: Hope this is satisfying enough. I'm not sure. But let me know!

-McDiggin'It

...

Chapter Fourteen:

 _The confused glaze over Merlin's eyes disappear, replaced with realization and shock. His eyes widen as he realizes that the girl he had forgotten, the girl he had felt so much for, feels so much for, is still underwater. The only word that breaks through his jumbled thoughts, her name._

 _..._

"Morgana!"

Eyes widening even further as a detail from his newfound memories jump out at him.

 _'I never learned how to swim.'_

Without hesitation, Merlin sprints to the edge, and dives into the pool, swimming to the bottom where Morgana's still, unconscious form floats. His chest aches at the sight, and though he's underwater, he could feel tears escape his eyes and mingle with the chlorine and pool water. Wrapping his arms around her tiny waist, he pulls her against his chest and kicks his feet until they're breaking the surface of the pool.

A set of hands help them out, and Merlin is adamant as he pushes them away and lays Morgana gently on her back. She's still unconscious as he leans down and presses his ear to her chest. Pain and fear spreads rapidly across his chest as he pulls away and places a palm over the other and placing it in the center of her chest.

Pumping once, twice, thrice, four times, a fifth, sixth, seventh, and eighth time, "Come on, Morgana. Breathe!" He continues pumping, pulling away, pinching her nose, leaning down and blowing into her mouth. Nothing. He blows again, and again, nothing. A third time, and still, nothing.

Tears begin to fill his eyes and spill down his cheeks as he frantically goes back to placing his hands below her diaphragm and pumping again. "Morgana!" He screams, his voice hoarse and his vision blurring. "Please, Morgana!" He continues pumping, and then going back to giving her mouth to mouth. He can distinctly hear Gwen speaking on the phone, asking for an ambulance.

"Please." He pants heavily as he goes back to pumping her chest. Then, like a breath of fresh air, Merlin's lungs relax as Morgana begins coughing up water and her beautiful green eyes snap open. She continues coughing and spluttering while simultaneously trying to inhale full breaths of air.

Morgana blinks up at the figure hovering above her. Her vision is still a blur, but she would know the shape of that face anywhere. Blinking rapidly, her vision slowly begins to clear up, and Merlin's handsome and wet face comes into view. His eyebrows are pulled together in obvious concern, and Morgana feels her heart rate speed up at the sight. "This is the second time you've saved me from drowning." She manages to say.

Merlin practically crushes her body to his, sitting back against his heels and holding her tightly to his chest. "I'm sorry." He shakes his head, cursing and kicking himself. "I'm so sorry I didn't remember you!" He sobs into her dark, wet locks. "I'm so so sorry, Morgana."

Morgana feels her heart soar into the skies and do several backflips as she pulls away and looks into his eyes questioningly. "You remember now?"

Merlin blinks back his tears and nods repeatedly. "Yes. I remember now."

Morgana lets out a small sob of joy , laying a hand over her mouth in surprise. She doesn't get her hopes up too high though. Merlin could still very well want to be with Freya. Taking a deep breath, she removes her hand from her mouth and stares intensely into his eyes. "And how do you feel?"

He could almost hear her thoughts. Smiling softly at her, he gently takes her right hand in his left one and places it over his chest above the place where his heart beats wildly. "Do you feel how fast my heart is beating?"

Morgana smiles instantly, tears cascading down her cheeks as she nods.

"It only beats like that when I'm near you." He continues, lips quirking into a small smile.

Morgana, no longer able to contain her joy and love for this man, takes her free hand, grabs one of the lapels of his jacket, pulling him down, and pressing her lips against his.

The whole world fades around them in that moment, fireworks exploding behind their visions, and Morgana swears she's the happiest woman alive even though she's soaked to the bone and absolutely freezing. Their kiss is cut short by a loud screech from a furious Freya.

"No!"

Morgana and Merlin turn their heads, looking at the other side of the pool where she's standing, glaring daggers at them. "You're still my fiancé, Merlin!" She screams, stamping her foot petulantly.

Merlin's eyes narrow at the girl and he gets up, pulling Morgana with him. He turns his head, giving Morgana a worried look. "Can you stand?"

Morgana nods, smiling at him. He nods, then turns his head again to glare at Freya.

"I'm not your _anything_ , Freya. I remember everything now." Untangling himself from Morgana, he walks towards the girl he'd thought was going to be his wife someday. Well, if he's honest, he didn't really think about it. But he had trusted her! "I remember how we broke up almost 3 years ago, because I couldn't love you, or even feel anything for you and you left. When I woke up from the accident, my memories were jumbled. And everything you've ever said to me was a lie... But I guess we're even now." He pauses, giving her a disgusted look. "I forgive you for lying to me when I didn't know better. But from this day forward, we are nothing more than just ships passing in the night. Don't call, text, e-mail, or even speak to me."

Freya's eyes fill to the brim with tears, and spill over her cheeks. "All I ever did was love you, Merlin." She sniffles.

"I know." He nods. "My only regret would be leading you on... I should've ended things between us before it even started. But I was a heartless, emotionless person back then..." He trails off and glances behind him and smiles at the girl who holds every piece of his heart now. The heart he didn't know he had. He turns back to Freya and gives her an apologetic look. "Until I met Morgana."

Freya looks angry then, glaring at him. "What does _she_ have that I don't?"

He doesn't even have to think about it. "Everything."

...

The paramedics pull up nearly 10 minutes later, checking Morgana and Freya for any extensive injuries before taking them both to hospital for further examination. Merlin, Gwen, Arthur, and Gaius all follow closely behind in Arthur's car.

Morgana is deemed okay after 3 hours of poking and prodding, and a thousand questions. She's had a minor concussion from when she had hit her head when she fell into the pool. The doctors only orders being for her to get some rest, and for someone to monitor her, and wake her up every 2 hours to make sure she's okay. The others all insist that they take turns watching her, and Morgana smiles gratefully at them.

"I'm guessing congratulations are in order." Arthur pipes up as they drive back to Merlin's place for their 12 hour mission of keeping Morgana awake.

"For what?" Merlin asks curiously.

Arthur laughs, shaking his head as he looks up at the rear view mirror at Merlin and Morgana, snuggling against each other. "For you finally not being an idiot and coming to your senses, of course!"

Morgana, Gwen, and Gaius all laugh as Merlin rolls his eyes and leans forward to punch Arthur lightly in the arm. "You're right. I should've let that car hit you so _you_ lose your memory and forget that you're totally in love with Gwen."

Silence fills the car for a long moment before Morgana sighs heavily, "Are we just going to pretend that Merlin didn't just say that? Or are we-"

"You're in love with me?" Gwen asks suddenly from her side in the front passenger seat, her head turning so she's staring into the side of Arthur's face. It's dark, but between the traffic lights and the headlights of the opposite lanes cars, she could see Arthur's eyes widening. He glances warily in the rear view mirror again before looking away quickly towards the road.

Gwen waits with bated for an answer that doesn't seem to be coming anytime soon as Arthur stares at the road ahead. Her heart sinks as she bites her lip and tries to keep herself together. Silence hangs in the air as they sat in silence. Suddenly, the car jerks to the right, pulling onto the side of the road before screeching to a complete halt.

Everyone in the vehicle stare at Arthur as he takes a deep breath, then suddenly opens his door and jumps out, walking around the front and over to the passenger door. He pauses momentarily before pulling the door open and pulling Gwen out. Closing the door, Arthur continues pulling her a little farther away.

Morgana's lips quirk in amusement as they watch the 2 in silence until Merlin breaks it. "Do you think they'll finally be together?"

Morgana leans her head against his chest, smiling to herself. "I know they will." She says confidently.

"How do you know?" Merlin asks, turning his head so he can look at her. He's utterly floored as he's reminded that this girl, leaning against him, is actually in love with him. He smiles as Morgana begins to explain.

"Gwen was confident that I'd end up with you by the end of tonight, and she was right... and I'm confident she'll end up with Arthur if she really wants to be with him."

Merlin smiles, glancing out the car window at the couple. A thought strikes him and he glances back to the woman in his arms. "So you all really planned the whole thing tonight?"

Morgana looks up at him warily, biting her lip as she sits up a little straighter. "Not exactly... the plan was for me to tell you everything I feel while Gwen and Arthur distracts and eventually get Freya to confess to lying to you... but I ended up doing a little more than what I was supposed to do."

Merlin nods and glances at his uncle and quirks a questioning brow at the man. "Did you know too?"

Gaius chuckles, shaking his head as he reaches over Morgana to pat his nephews shoulder. "Merlin, the moment you came home and informed me that you had done the stupidest thing and sort of asked Freya to marry you, I've been mentally plotting to end that little relationship... if you could even call it that."

Both Merlin and Morgana give him alarmed looks, but Morgana is the first to speak. "I can't really tell if you're joking, Gaius."

Gaius shrugs, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "I'm not." He says seriously, then looks pointedly at Merlin. "I never told you, because I wasn't entirely sure I heard you correctly, but before you came out of your coma, I had told Gwen and Arthur that I thought I heard you speak." He waits for their nods for him to continue. He looks at Morgana's curious expression then and explains, "It happened after I sent you home that day."

"And what did you think you heard me say?" Merlin asks curiously.

"At the time, I thought I must've been hearing things again, but after the day you told me you might have just unconventionally proposed to Freya, I knew I had to stop you from marrying the wrong girl."

"Why? What did Merlin say while in his coma?" Morgana asks, now extremely eager to know what exactly Gaius thought Merlin had said. "Not that I'm complaining about you intervening." She adds quickly.

"He apologized to you."

"What?"

Gaius nods and looks over at Merlin. "His exact words were, 'I'm sorry, Morgana'. But I wasn't sure if I actually heard him say it... it didn't make sense to me then, which is why I continued to think I was hearing things. But it made much more sense when he woke up not remembering you."

Merlin nods in thought, "So you think I subconsciously _let_ myself forget?"

Gaius nods, "The human brain is a funny thing... my theory on what happened to you, is that your brain _chose_ to forget what meant the most to you, because it knew that you couldn't have it. Which in the case _then_ , you fell into a deep sleep, knowing that Morgana was with Arthur, and you had believed that she _wanted_ to be with Arthur. And in thinking that, you let yourself forget her to save her, as well as yourself from further heartache."

Silence takes over yet again as Morgana and Merlin ponder on Gaius' theory. It makes sense. Morgana looks up at Merlin and gives him a playful smirk. "I don't like your brain very much right now." She laughs teasingly.

Merlin grins at her and shakes his head. "Me neither... and I'm sorry again, Morgana. I-"

"It doesn't matter." She tells him softly. "We're together now and that's more than I could have ever hoped for."

Merlin nods, sighing blissfully as he pulls her closer and kisses her softly.

Gaius clears his throat loudly, "I'm still here, you know?" He says jokingly, and the couple instantly pull apart with sheepish smiles.

"I'm sorry, Gaius... I guess having my memories back has made me realize just how much I missed out on."

Gaius chuckles, shaking his head, "Speaking of things to miss out on, you two are about to miss out on the show right outside." He points out of Merlin's window, the couple turning their heads to see Arthur and Gwen embracing in a passionate kiss.

"Took them long enough." Morgana grins happily for her friends.

...

Merlin ends up not watching the video Gwen had recorded of Freya spouting out all the lies she's ever told Merlin, Merlin's explanation being that he doesn't really care because now he really has what he wants and needs.

But Gwen didn't hesitate to verbally tell them of what went down between her conversation with Freya. "She actually had the audacity to not only tell me that she did lie, but also said that Merlin would never believe me over her... said it was my word against hers." Gwen scoffs, rolling her eyes.

Merlin shakes his head, "And where was Arthur then?"

Arthur grins, puffing out his chest. "Saving lives, of course."

"He was recording the whole scene." Gwen laughs, giving her boyfriend an apologetic smile as he pouts.

Merlin chuckles softly, shaking his head. "I can't believe it had to come to that in order for me to remember."

Gwen smiles, and sensing a seriousness in her green eyed best friend, she gets up pulls Arthur with her. "Arthur, could you help me with something?"

The blond man looks confused, sensing something in her tone but not really sure what it means. "Sure." He follows her out into the hall and up the stairs to one of the rooms in Merlin's home.

Morgana smiles as Gwen's and Arthur's footsteps fade slowly. Gwen always knew. She looks at Merlin to see him deep in thought. "What are you thinking?" She asks carefully.

Merlin looks at her and frowns, "Just wondering how it took you almost dying for me to bloody finally remember you."

She chuckles, "If I'd known that drowning would've triggered your memories, I'd have drowned a lot sooner and saved us all this time." Morgana jokes, leaning her head tiredly against his shoulder.

Merlin turns, taking her face in his hands and gives her a serious look, "That's not funny... I never told you this before, but that first time you almost drowned was the scariest thing I've ever seen." Moving his left hand, he takes her right one in his and kisses the back of it. "Seeing you drown and regaining my memories, it made me realize what I feared the most."

She leans into his touch and gives him a curious look, "And what is it that you fear the most?"

"Losing you." He looks up into the distance for a few moments before looking back at her. "Morgana, in all my life I've never felt that kind of fear before... and the very thought of not being able to see you again scares me so much, a whole acre of beehives won't even begin to compare." He looks at her so seriously, and with so much love shining in his blue eyes. "After I pulled you out of the water tonight, I thought for a moment that I had lost you... but then you came to, and I swear to God I've never felt so alive as I did in that moment."

Morgana smiles lovingly at this man she's come to love so much. Just a few months ago, she wanted to strangle him every time he called her name... but now she can't even imagine what her life would be like if he weren't in it. She doesn't want to. Placing a hand over his cheek, she runs her thumb over the light stubble forming there. "I'm glad you feel that way."

"I love you, you know that?" He asks her softly, tucking a strand of her loose hair behind her ear.

"I do _now_." She smiles, seeing him move his head down towards hers. She meets him halfway, pouring all the love she has for him into the kiss. It's soft, yet full of a passion she can't describe. Although the night had started out quite horribly, she has to admit that tonight, is turning out to be quite possibly the best night of her life.

Looking back on all the times she'd spent with Merlin in his office, it's amazing how that took a complete 360 degree turn in a few short, yet seemingly long months. That whole time, she had thought she hated him... turns out, she's just been falling in love with him.

Don't get her wrong, he most likely still has a penchant for annoying the living hell out of her, but at least she's sure now that she's feeling the right emotion.

...

A/N: Sorry this is a little short. No worries, I'm not just gonna end this fic like this. I want to add just a little bit more, including a bit of Arwen POV, but I also feel like that's pushing it. Should I just end it here and write an epilogue to finish it off? Or just write an ending? I think I'm leaning more towards the epilogue. But I'll let you all decide. Please leave a review and let me know!

-McDiggin'It


	15. Epilogue

Title: The Wrong Emotion

A/N: Yay for the final chapter! Okay, so this is it! No more drama even though Icould barely resist the dramatics. Sue me. But thank you to all who reviewed this fic. I hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. R&R!

-McDiggin'It

...

 _Merlin could not hold back his tears if his life depended on it. In all his life, he remembers an exact number of 4 times he'd really cried._

The first was when he was five and his parents could not make it to his school play. He had worked hard to study his lines in the play for nothing.

The second time, was when he was 5. He fell off his bike and scraped his knee. It didn't exactly hurt much... he cried because instead of his mother or father running to his aid, it was his babysitter who cleaned his wound and bandaged it afterwards.

The third time was approximately 3 and a half years ago when he finally visited his parents' graves for the first time since their burial. He had cried like a baby, yelling at their headstones and demanding to know why they were never there for him. And in addition to not being there, they had to leave him so soon. He cried because he was so completely lost, hurting from his encounter with a girl who merely works for him, but makes him feel like he's the unworthy one. Like he's nothing in her eyes. He cried because he'd never felt so alone. Because he'd never felt so many emotions at once, and yet still can't bring himself to act on his emotions. He cried because he realized that he had been so consumed in continuing his parents' legacy, that he forgot to begin his own. He cried because he knew that he couldn't possibly continue to go to work and do the exact same thing he did everyday since he became old enough to run the company. And he cried because he'd gained nothing but loneliness from wallowing in his anger, bitterness, and fear of affection. Fear of getting too close to people because he doesn't want to ever feel what he felt when his parents left him forever.

The fourth time he cried, his memories had just broken through the ginormous barrier around his brain that was keeping all of her out, and having a near heart attack as he performed CPR on her. He cried out of fury at himself for forgetting, and indescribable fear at the thought of losing her forever.

...

It's the middle of winter, but inside the Red and white Winter themed ceremonial room of the Emrys estate in Ireland, warmth radiates with chipper smiles and excited grins.

White, ruby red, and platinum linens, silver trees with hanging red crystals, clear acrylic chairs that lined up side by side on either side of the room, with a single walkway littered with red and white rose petals in the center leading towards the front of the room which fanned out into an open and spacious area, decorated with ice blue crystals hanging from the ceiling around the center of the opening. Off to the right of its center, a man with blue eyes, dark hair, and clad in a black and silver custom made Ermenegildo Zegna tuxedo, awaits the commencement of the ceremony.

He looks down at his silver tie, dark shirt, dark grey vest and sleek black jacket and pants. In the breast pocket of his jacket, is a single red rose. He momentarily wonders how he managed to get into his clothes, his thoughts muddled with thoughts of his fiancé.

It's the big day, and Merlin cannot even _begin_ to contain his excitement.

"Smile any harder and your face might actually crack." Gaius chuckles as he approaches his nephew.

Merlin laughs, albeit nervously. "I'm just..."

"Nervous?"

"I was going to say happy, but now that you mention it, yes. I'm a little nervous."

"That's normal." Gaius nods and smiles widely at the fine young man before him. He looks so much like his father, except thinner and with shorter hair and thankfully no facial hair. "So, I never told you because your father specifically told me not to, until today, but he wanted me to give you something."

Merlin looks curiously at his uncle and nods. "What is it?"

Gaius reaches into his pocket and pulls out a gold ring that Merlin is pretty sure is not his mothers. He had that one encased and left in his study back in London. "A ring?" He asks as Gaius hands it over to him.

"It's a custom made family crest ring that belonged to your father, and his father, and his father before him, and so on."

Merlin turns the ring over in his hand and finds the Dragonlord family crest from his fathers side. It's gold all around, save for the centerpiece that boasts of pure silver, with 2 gold dragons intertwined in the center. Merlin smiles widely as he looks at his uncle. "I remember my father telling me that someday, I'll earn the right to wear the family ring... why today?"

Gaius chuckles as he light thumps his palm on his nephews shoulder. "Because you're finally leading your life and not the other way around."

 _Canon in D Major_ begins to play in the background as the double doors to the chapel open up, revealing 2 lines of about 6 groomsmen in dark gray tuxedo's, and 6 bridesmaids in ice blue dresses. Their line takes about 2 minutes, followed closely by 2 beautiful blonde little twin flower girls, and an adorable little boy with dark hair and blue eyes, carefully and slowly walking down the aisle with a small white pillow in his hands, holding 2 wedding bands in its center.

Arthur hobbles up beside Merlin and pats his best friend in the back. "You ready for this?"

Merlin nods enthusiastically as he takes a deep breath and glances at his best man. "Definitely."

Finally, all heads turn in awe and amazement as the beautiful and breathtaking woman of the hour emerges from the left side of the double doors, turning slowly and facing the crowd.

A long flowing white dress that seems to hug her curves so perfectly, a train about as long as Merlin's entire 6 foot height, red and white roses adorn the right side of her dark hair, styled in a wavy waterfall down her back. Over her head is a transparent white veil that did nearly nothing to conceal the beauty and radiance of the woman behind it.

Today, Merlin notes silently, will be the fifth time he has ever cried. Tears flow freely down his pale cheeks as he stares at the back of the room. He feels his heart beat rapidly in his chest as the love of his life slowly begins to walk down the aisle towards him.

All else fades into the background as he stares at his soon-to-be-wife taking step after step towards him. His insides flip inside out as she gets closer and he can see her a little clearer now through hurriedly wiped tears.

Finally, she reaches him and he takes her hand as she faces him, smiling brightly. He could tell she's crying too, and he gives her hand a light squeeze. _I love you_. 

She squeezes back. _I love you too_. 

"Dearly beloved." Gaius begins, smiling at the two before him. "We are gathered here today, to witness the binding of this man," he gestures to Merlin. "And this woman". He gestures to Morgana. "In holy matrimony."

Morgana bites her lip hard, trying to make sure this isn't a dream. She can't believe she's actually about to finally marry the man of her dreams. She smiles up at him as all else fades away. Love, a love that he did not possess before meeting her, now shines brightly through his gorgeous blue eyes.

There were times when she had almost given up on him, but then she'd look into his eyes and instantly know that she could never ever truly give him up. She loves this man with every single beat of her heart, and for better or worse, she belongs to him.

"If anyone here has reason to believe why this man and woman may not be joined together, let them speak now, or forever hold your peace." Gaius pauses, eyes sweeping over the crowd, daring anyone to stop the ceremony. He nods satisfactorily before continuing.

His speech is short, simple, and sweet. And finally, he looks at the young couple before him, smiling lovingly at each other. "And now, for the exchanging of vows."

He turns to looks at Arthur and Gwen, who each step forward towards the little ring boy and picking up the 2 rings on the pillow in his hands. They give the rings to the bride and groom, nodding their support.

"Please repeat after me." Gaius waits for them to nod before continuing. "I, state your name."

"I, Merlin Emrys,"

"I, Morgana Le Faye,

"Take thee, Morgana Le Faye,"

"Take thee, Merlin Emrys,"

"To be my lawfully wedded wife,"

"To be my lawfully wedded husband,"

"To have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, honor, and cherish, 'til death do us part."

Rings are exchanged, and Gaius grins widely at his nephew and niece-in-law. "Then by the powers vested in me by the law, I proudly pronounce thee, husband and wife." He glances at Merlin, pausing shortly. "Merlin, you may kiss your bride."

Merlin immediately does so, pulling his new wife tightly into his arms and kissing her deeply. He's so happy, he can barely contain it as they pull away for air. "I love you, Morgana Le Faye."

Morgana grins widely and quirks an eyebrow at him. "I love you too... and its Morgana Emrys now." She corrects.

Merlin grins widely and pulls her into another kiss. "Mrs. Emrys... I've waited 3 years to call you that."

...

The reception is beautiful and full of laughter as Morgana and Merlin's friends and family enjoy the great food, wine, and stories of Merlin and Morgana's journey together, courtesy of the best man and maid of honor. All too soon, the night comes to an end and the newlyweds find themselves alone inside a limo, on their way to a 5-star hotel where they'll spend the night before taking their flight to Fiji in the morning for their month long honeymoon vacation. Perks of Merlin being the CEO.

On the other side of the city, a blonde man and an olive skinned girl share a deep kiss as they stumble up the stairs of their 4-bedroom home. "I love our little angels, but thank heavens they actually wanted to spend tonight with my father."

Gwen laughs heartily as she kisses her husband. "As much as I hate to admit it, I agree with you on that."

"Yes, well this isn't the first time you agreed with me. If I recall correctly, our twins wouldn't have been conceived if you hadn't agreed with me to just-"

"Arthur?" Gwen interrupts as they finally make it to their bedroom.

"Yes, love?"

"Shut up and kiss me."

Obviously, he cannot argue with his wife. "Yes, ma'am." he grins, leaning down and claiming her lips in a heated kiss.

...

Silence fills the interior of the luxurious hotel room, and Morgana bites her lip nervously.

"You're quiet." She points out softly as she looks up from her place by his side on their bed.

He turns his head, smiling widely at her and leans over to place a quick kiss on her lips. "Just thinking." He mutters.

"About?"

"Just wishing my parents could've been here with me on the happiest day of my life. I wish you could've met them. They would've loved you and Bailey."

Morgana beams at her new husband and presses a kiss to his bare chest. "I wish I could've met them too. I'm sure Bailey and I would've loved them as well."

Merlin smiles, kissing his wife's forehead as tears begin to fill his eyes. "Morgana, I wanted to thank you." He says softly.

Morgana pulls away and looks questioningly at Merlin. "For what?"

He grins, wiping his tears away. "For loving me. For being so patient and caring. For showing me what it's like to be loved. For giving me Bailey... and for never giving up on me. Because heaven knows I would've given up on myself a long time ago."

"You sell yourself short." Morgana disagrees softly. "It may have taken a little while for you to come around and finally use that heart of yours," she jokes earning her a small chuckle. She quickly fades back to a more serious look as she takes his hand in hers, "but there is no one I know in this lifetime who can love me like you do. You quickly became the most influential man I've ever met, and not because you're the CEO of Camelot Stocks, or because you own 3 islands, and 7 family estates in Great Britain alone, but because you have the heart of someone who has been through hell and back. That, is why I admire and love you so much. Because even after going through something that would've rendered most people completely heartless, you still turned out to be one of the most loving, caring, and kindest man I've ever known."

Merlin couldn't help it. In that moment, he felt this burning need to hold his wife closer to him and never let her go. Literally. So he hugs her closer, burying his face into her hair, inhaling her intoxicating scent, and feeling every bit of worry and nervousness inside him melt away quickly with her touch. "Do you think Bailey is going to be okay?" He asks curiously a few minutes later.

Morgana pulls away and smiles, "He's in good hands. Besides, Gaius is always treating him like some fragile object, and Arthur and Gwen will be there as well to help out. I'm sure Bailey will be fine."

"But he's three."

"Merlin, that boy takes after you in every single way. He'll be fine."

Merlin nods, although he's still a little nervous. It will be the longest time they'll be away from him. "I just-"

"Merlin." Morgana raises an eyebrow at him. "We already told Gaius to call us if anything comes up, and we can always call him whenever we want. Also, they'll be at the airport tomorrow to see us off."

"Right. I guess I'm just..."

"I know," Morgana cuts him off with a knowing smile. "He's our first and only child and you can't help thinking about your own childhood and how you barely got to spend time with your parents. But we won't let that happen. We'll be back in a month, and never ever leave his side again. I know for a fact that Gaius, Gwen, and Arthur will take good care of him while we're away."

"You're right." Merlin nods, kissing her forehead and taking a deep breath. "Tonight is just us."

"Together." Morgana agrees.

Merlin kisses her again and rests his forehead against her. He laughs a little as he closes his eyes and thinks about all the things they've been through together. "From memory losses, to wrong engagements, to memory gains, to long dates out and longer nights in, to finding out you're pregnant, to the sleepless nights, the morning fights, to raising Bailey, to asking you to marry me, and now, finally being able to call you my wife." He pulls away and looks at her with wonder in his eyes. "We've been through a lot together, and yet here we are, stronger than ever."

"Together." Morgana smiles tearily.

Every journey has a destination. And although their journey seems to be coming to an end, Merlin and Morgana know that theirs, has only just begun.

"I love you." Merlin whispers softly as they settle against the sheets of their hotel bed.

"And I love you... I think I always have, even when I thought I hated you. I just didn't realize that that whole time, I was just feeling the wrong emotion.

...

The End

...

A/N: This epilogue sucks. I'm disappointed and I understand if you are too. I apologize. I'm just so rushed because I'm always exhausted after work. But I'm writing more Mergana still, and will post them soon. Anyway, R&R!

-McDiggin'It

P


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